(Rose)
I relieve myself behind a tree, as usual. I still have some sweetness from before remaining within me. Otherwise I now feel as if I had just woken up from a very, very long night. I slept for so long that I'm exhausted. It's not far from being true.
The world hasn't changed much over the last few months, and neither did I, but my body did. This weird and oversized belly button scar proves it.
I'm hungry. Blume waits for me just further. I'm surprised for a moment every time I see her. Because of her look but also because I can see her, away from me. My heart aches at that.
Then I have strange feelings as she gave me an unexpected experience with sex. There was little room for confusion with that.
Her pale face smiles at me. She's obviously underfed despite all the power and knowledge she has.
She's stewing something. Plants I think. I don't want to know what she's cooking.
She went back to recover some of the hybrid flesh in which I was reborn. This giant placenta is edible. So we packed what could be preserved and moved on.
I'm anxious about that enemy flying somewhere above us, looking for us. The giant I had fought because I felt I was right about something. I still do, but enduring the dire consequences of my choices is heavy. This saddens me. I'm sad in times of peace... Because we are at peace lately. Blume wants us to prepare for war, a final fight at a rightful distance from our friends' house. But we're still at peace for now.
The weather is nice. We can harvest wild fruits and crops as we go. And most surprising, we're walking together. We're walking next to each other... We can look at each other, and even touch each other. I often pinch her cheek to make sure this is not a dream. She often holds my hand and smiles heartily like a child. I feel like a child too...
My thoughts still have those rainy clouds here and there. The anxiety about our enemy. Our body becoming two bodies. My life itself... I have died, and returned. This feels more weird than good honestly. As if I had done something incredibly wrong or evil for my egoistical own good. Something doesn't feel right.
I told her that. She obviously lost her smile there. We know it's because of her that I live again.
B -When you lost your loved one, you became obsessed in finding her. Neglecting your own health at that time, because it was less relevant. You built your life around her, you needed her to exist in a somewhat meaningful way... How am I different?
We're feeling aches in our hearts.
B - When you desperately returned home for the very same reason, once brought into this new world, you found your solace over her death because you knew she lived happily for ever after; and because you became free to pursue a new goal which was meeting me. Honestly, I don't think I would be that different when the time of your passing comes.
R - The difference is you did...
She cuts me off.
B - The difference is you did not die in a way that could ever bring me solace. You were not happy on your death bed. You were not ready to pass on. And neither was I. I kind of know what you feel about, returning to life you know. It does feel strange. But it is not wrong. What is wrong is what you do not accept, and I would never accept your life to end the way it did. Never! Hades can suck it.
I'm shocked by her words. I'm agape to her sudden vulgarity.
R - Blume... You're angry.
B - I am... I guess. I would really hate it if you told me that I shouldn't have brought you back to life...
Now she starts sobbing and crying. I've noticed she can cry easily, but now she's crying a lot. I hold her, I comfort her against me. She's surprisingly sensitive at times.
She blurts random words, or fragments of sentences between her cries, most of which I easily understand. She repeats that she loves me, a lot. That she wants to live with me longer, just a little longer. That she would accept my end when my life will be reasonably long and happy. That she wouldn't make a toy of me that she keeps reanimating over and over for centuries. She won't become a monster that refuses me to die. Only one that will grant me another chance when fate did not. Goodness, she's crying so much. I didn't know an adult body could cry so much water.
Over the time, over each new revelation about her, the great monster with god like powers she appeared to be at first, shrinks, and appears more frail and human.
Every time I get closer to her I see a little more how weak, sad and vulnerable she truly is. Poor flower. Not afraid, wait, really afraid, though ready to show her naked true self to me once again...
I hold her tight as she cries. She cries endlessly in fear that I would harbour the desire to abandon her...
My poor dear flower...
~
I remember one time, when fear literally paralysed her. I was getting fired up to fight, and she couldn't follow.
I would have felt the same for my previous love in both situations. Had she asked me to let her die... I would have become insane.
I'm always surprised to see how much we look alike... And I do mean it in more ways than one.
I kissed her forehead a little to appease her. After a while, her sorrow slowly appeased itself.
I missed you so much Blume.
I kissed her slightly.
It probably is because of what she did to me earlier, but I'm less afraid of skin touches now. Also, I can. And mostly, I love her. And being reborn cleared my thoughts and memories a little too, like a great night of sleep.
She looks at me with eyes betraying a wide variety of emotions. Sorrow, anger, surprise, love, thankfulness... Lots of them.
She looks like I just saved her soul... Ah. I remember now.
Maybe I just did. I kiss her again. She's trembling. I think I'm right.
R - I'm sorry Blume. It took me some time to recall how you emotionally work. Beings-like-you tend to only slide slowly one way until it gets you. You were becoming a little too melodramatic, perhaps even for you. I'm sorry it took me so much time to see that you were slipping away into sorrow. Here, I caught you. Don't slide away from me. Don't go away. I'm with you and I do love you. I want to live longer with you too.
How weird I felt about being alive is pointless next to her real worries. She looks at me with such eyes now. She's thankful at a point I can't grasp. Her voice trembles and is very meek.
B - You saved me...
She's essentially without body. Her most dire dangers are not sickness, but emotions control over her psyche...
She's hugging me tightly like a child, crying a little more, but because of her feeling of gratitude this time, rather than worrisome sorrow.
She keeps repeating against my tummy that she loves me, and that I saved her again...
Being dead was more than sadness to her, it was a worry that without me, she would get lost within herself. There was sadness too obviously. But also that fear of getting lost in ways I can't quite experience nor understand because I'm human. It's still is real to her.
I love her. And I want to take care of her too as we live and evolve, rather than grow, or grow old together eventually.
Her only wish is for this future we hold together to happen.
My death can wait a few more decades. If not Hades, I know for sure that this world we live in does not mind...
~