(Rose)
I woke up with a cold shiver again. I have a bad feeling when I see those piercing blue eyes during my sleep.
It's as if I suddenly feel the predator's presence, looking at me, close, very close...
My heart beats faster than usual after these scary dreams. Blume comforts me kindly right afterward. My worry calms down.
We're going to meet our friends soon. We're on our way.
I dress myself, pack up, and we begin the walk.
An endless field opens itself to us. We're crossing the countryside freely. An endless field with slight curves, old hills, covered in new grass. The wind still is fresh but spring is well settled.
It's a beautiful day.
Something flying bolted through the sky. I couldn't get what it was, but it landed maybe only a mile ahead.
R - What was that?
B - I'm not sure. I didn't felt its presence... Be careful.
I walk, on my guard, toward the unidentified flying object that landed a little further.
I see a silhouette after walking for a while like normal, in our quiet world.
I see someone looking in the distance, standing still, showing us her back.
My eyes begin to go round as I look at that young woman's back. Her silhouette is unmistakable to me...
But it's impossible...
I make another step, my body suddenly leaden, so heavy.
My heart is in turmoil. I'm sweating a lit. It's not possible.
She slowly turns around, and shows her face toward me.
I feel like my heart is pierced with ten blades through my chest and back. I'm already tearing up. It's not possible!
R - It can't be...
She sees me finally, and she recognises me. The young woman with a sickly but mischievous look and grin on her face. My sister, whom I've lost in another time...
I make another step, somewhat lighter, but not another one. I'm struck with doubt and fear as it cannot be true.
Blume too is in doubt. I can hear her.
B - She... She looks human... Is this her?
I can't voice out her name correctly. I'm dying, about to fall on my trembling knees.
She laughs at it in a mocking tone, lifting cutely her hand in front of her mouth. I'm trembling too much and lose balance.
She comes closer quickly, with light steps. She offers me her hand. I want to hug her so badly. It's killing me, but I cannot move, nor can I believe what I'm seeing through my tears.
And more distant, a corner of my mind is screaming a warning bell I can't really notice anymore.
- Oh... Remember me? I'm so glad...
Her voice is awfully coarse and rough. Deep, rough, sounding more like rocks and gravels than a young woman.
She helps me stand and her blue eyes are piercing me. My heart is hurting me again, a lot. But I step back now.
R - You're not... You're not her. Despite her name, her eyes were never blue... What are you?
Her eyes spark. Her smile grows in a more devilish tone.
- I'm your sister. I'm just like you, Rose.
I'm just like you... That's what Blume said to me the first time we truly met. I step back again. She can look human and wear clothes, and the face of her, but she's obviously not... Not her...
R - What are you!
- I'm just like you... Do you want to kill me already? After just being reunited?
She's walking toward me, her arms open. I do have murderous thoughts against that impersonification of my dear sister. My muscles are tensing up.
R - Save it! You're not her!
- Oh but I am. In every possible way. You don't have to lie to me sister. You don't have to pretend just because of that flower you carry today.
Blume pretended not to be alive as usual, but now starts to move, as she's been seen through. I keep stepping back. She keeps stepping ahead toward me at the same speed.
- I know all of you sister. And even though I wasn't born nor reborn from the same flesh as you, we are sisters. We are the same, you. and. I. I know you want to kill me now. And you can be yourself, don't worry.
R - What the hell are you saying! You don't know me monster... And yes, I will kill you if I have to!
I feel a rage I can't handle rising within me, painful and strong. I'm clenching my fists. She keeps laughing. The way she profanes the dearest thing from my past, and every word she chooses to say, they make me mad with insane efficiency.
- I told you, you don't have to pretend. You don't need a threat on yourself. You enjoy killing. I know that. I share that. I know you want to kill me. Not because I dared looking like your old sister, but because I remind you of her.
R - What are you saying... I don't like to kill... Why... Why would your appearance...
- I know you... I know you enjoy killing people, as well as beasts. I saw you. I shared your joy as you choked that one to death. As you pierced that other one's heart with a blade. As you shot the other ones you didn't gut out with blades. That blissful feeling of power. Oh, you enjoyed it so much. That thrill. You have this twisted pleasure born from dominating and crushing an opponent's life. You enjoyed crushing their lives away in pain.
I'm sweating, unable to reply. I'm feeling awful. Blume is under the same shocks as me, but ready to strike if needed.
- Just that pleasure of killing makes us the same. You want to kill, more than you can love. Like. your. sister. You loved her in spite of everything. You loved her despite all the suffering she brought you, because you could never let your true self show. You never allowed your true, deep, feelings to express themselves openly. Because you weren't as strong and free as you are today.
I'm trying to swallow my saliva but fail. I almost swallow my tongue and inhale my saliva instead, and end up coughing a lot, nervously. When I recover mildly, she spits the awful truth at me. I'm scared of her eyes.
- Deep down, you wanted to kill her. You dreamt of killing her, more than anything, more than anyone else. And it felt warm to you.
I'm crying now, unable to react. I'm falling apart, unable to deny... She keeps going with vivid movements, mimicrying someone strangling something fiercely.
- You wanted to strangle her to death as she slept. To take her life slowly as she tried to escape your grasp! Oh, how blissful would you have felt, watching her die. Watching her tear up, her eyes cry in fear, on love, in incomprehension, her mouth trying to whisper a last word you would never let escape... You enjoy killing, Rose... And most of all, the one you always dreamt of killing to the point it became a sexual sort of impulse to you, it was your suffering and poisonous sister!
I passed out. I heard her laugh...
~
I enjoyed killing.
I see myself, on each murder I've made. I see each of these trauma repeating itself, only I see myself smiling at each time. I see myself enjoying a second of bliss, pleasure running in shivers through my veins, as I see their lives vanish in my hands. Men. Women. Children. Animals. I see myself gouging out eyes with a sadistic laugh, shivering with pleasure as I hear them cry in pain.
My heart bleeds.
But I see dark corridors that I know well.
I'm home.
I see myself at home, younger by many years. Not so tall, walking barefoot where I fit.
While we were all still children, I go across stairs and corridors at night to reach her room.
I see myself, looking at my sister who's asleep in her bed. We were children. I was maybe twelve.
I see myself climb softly onto the bed, not waking her up yet, and then bringing my fingers around her neck. It's the pit of night. I'm in my nightgown, while she's stuck under the sheets and my weight, as I begin to strangle her.
And I see myself smile, voraciously.
I wake up in a scream and with a ripping pain in my chest. Did this happen?
No... No. This was only a nightmare. It never happened.
I never did such a thing.
But I feel like I just did...
I vomit violently everything I might have had in my stomach. My head feels fuzzy, burning.
I'm still in that same field, in the middle of England. I'm still standing in front of that daiûa playing with my mind.
Blume took control of me as I was passed out. I was protected, and the monster did not get closer.
I feel atrociously awful.
She's still grinning.
R - Who... What the hell do you want, monster? I will never admit a word of what you say.
- You don't have to hide it from me. You don't need to lie at all, with me. Why don't you kill me as you always dreamt you would her? Come on. Enjoy. I'm all yours.
She uncovers her collar, showing me an obscene neck. I do feel a queer urge boiling up within, but I swallow and keep stepping back. It's an awful trap, one way or another.
- I understand you fully. I know you fully. Come on. You can kill me. Come my love. Enjoy your true self fully. I will even attempt to fight you off to survive, just the way that excites you even more. Come.
I'm torn apart, gasping, hardly breathing; I can't think anymore. What should I do?
I should run... I can't deny that I'm awfully tempted to kill her the way she offers it. I want that pleasure badly. But I shouldn't... I shouldn't abandon my flowery ideal... No matter how forgiving the world might have become for the likes of me...
I feel heat boiling everywhere within me. I don't know how to react. My mind is broken.
I should flee, but I'm tempted so badly.
She sees that I'm flinching. She starts crouching and lying on the grass apparently defenceless. She's showing her neck to me like an offering. I'm so tempted. Her skin looks so soft...
I know it's a trap, one way or another I can't see anymore.
I mustn't. But when your worst fantasy is offered, it's hard to refuse. I swallow again.
There's a horrible taste left in my mouth from before.
I sigh at the sky.
I casted away my desires at that moment and she understood it. I sadly resisted her strong temptation.
R - I won't... I won't do it... I won't do anything before I know what the fuck you are...
- Oh, what a bad word, Rose.
R - Fuck you. Tell me who you are now, or I swear it's Blume here that will kill you, without having me lay a finger on your shallow body.
- Why do you refuse so stubbornly to embrace who you truly are? I would have given you that joy... And, you know who I am.
I think fast.
R - Dark Blue... That thing. Why the hell did you became even more like my sister?
- Because I learnt everything I could from you when we first met. Long before that. And I thought... Ah. We look alike each other. I already know you...
R - ... Before that?
I'm stepping back again. I'm feeling cold. Her skin is turning into a darker shade as she gets closer.
Blume starts to tremble as much as I, as she realises it too.
- Long before that... Before you called me Dark Blue, you had given me another name. I remember it very well, as you were yelling it inside your thoughts over and over as I peered through your brain.
It was Ogre.
The veil is lifted. I see the darkness of the giant monster again. Blume sees its power becoming visible to her again.
It had survived... It had regrown, hidden in a cave...
Now with much darker shades over her, Ogre was grinning at us again.
~