(Rose)
I haven't slept much. I was worried about Ann. She doesn't look like she slept better than me.
In the afternoon, we reach the city. We reach the square with its roads closed. We cross the farm and the stream and go to the house.
We don't find them. We begin to worry. They're in the garden. They're alright. We can read true joy on their face when they see us. They come to greet us happily.
We feel so welcome here, it's nice...
The mostly eat vegetables because they don't go too far to scavenge leftovers from before. They're afraid of monsters.
Communication is still a slow process, though the girl knows a little bit of English.
I want to learn some of the world history, but it will be difficult here. I would need to find a library in town to have a chance of finding texts that are precise and easy to understand. I don't want to bother them too much over something they don't relate to very precisely now.
I take the time to explain them where I will go now. And that I need a weapon that is able to destroy any kind of monster or demon.
Something it might fear if it has a physical body, and if technology has sufficiently improved and allows it, that also can threaten demons that don't have a physical body...
Zeslinry thinks that I want a revenge against a monster previously encountered.
R - Not revenge. Discussion. But dangerous.
I'm not blinded by hatred. I'm very far from that.
Zeslinry brings me to the attic of the house. It holds a few dozens of weapons of strange facture and boxes of ammunitions I think. The boxes are almost empty. She shows me the weapons she has.
She makes me understand that some rifles, though very powerful, cannot be used while standing. Because the recoil would break my shoulder. Some have little telescopes mounted on. I wonder if they can shoot at targets on the moon?
To kill a demon, she's not sure. She tells me that weapons kill humans. Ah... Of course, I forgot. These are really weapons after all. I mean human weapons, to use against humans. The new world hasn't changed the past.
Would fire power be enough? Is a handgun enough? I chose a rifle that is quite small and light. It uses slim bullets. That and the handle and body of the rifle are partially made of wood. It reminds me of my time.
Zeslinry shows me how to dismount the weapon in smaller parts. She adds one of these scopes, a leaflet and some other things I didn't have time to check in the box of the weapon. She closes it and gives it to me.
She tells me good luck with a sad smile. That's about all she knows to say.
I will leave tomorrow morning. I have to talk with Ann.
~
Ann listens to me. I've told her most of what I learnt. Nothing about my past self's history. But what I know about our time and what I think about the daiûa.
I ask her what she wants to do. Because where I'm about to go might still be hell on Earth.
And because she clearly understood I don't want her to touch me again, she doesn't have to follow me once more. And she seemed to have lost her happiness from following me lately.
She tells me that it is a bit true, because she feels a little heartbroken...
I apologise. That makes her smile.
A - I guess it truly isn't quite the real you that I've fallen for...
Everyone dreams of something. Whether it's someone they love, or a trait they might have... I cannot become only what Ann likes in me. It's not who I am. As much as I couldn't remain the gentle Rose I like to be, when the situation was too dire for her to survive... I had to adapt and reveal something else to survive. In the end, I too did evolve. I think. I'm maturing.
Ann tells me that she'll make her choice by tomorrow. Whether she tags along or not for my new journey, I'll find out when I leave then.
It's only for her to choose.
Zeslinry is happy. Her girl too. We don't feel so bad either. We even laugh a little all together, even if we can't really say why. After a while, that becomes a source of amusement in itself.
This family is a nice one.
I gave them a gift this time, that I carried all the way from home. It's a small rosebush. One of these tiny ones with smaller leaves and flowers that grew in the dark. The bleached white roses. It makes a pretty plant. It still makes a small chime sound from time to time. A small and soft metallic tone. One musical note.
I think they liked it.
It even glows a soft colour in the dark.
I told them that it was everything I could find at home. I didn't mention anything else.
They liked the unexpected gift. I kept one flower with me, since it keeps glowing even after being picked up. It's a helpful beacon at night. I leave it next to my clothes at night.
The night went on peacefully.
Tomorrow the sun will rise.
~
I woke up with the slight musical note of the flower. It doesn't seem to mind being cut and without stem anymore. It's only a little greener now.
I dress at the light of dawn coming from the window.
My package is ready. My clothes are both practical and comfortable. These bras are nice. I wear my heavy and strong shoes. I lace them. I take my jacket, my backpack and my gloves.
I'm off without any more goodbyes. I let them sleep; we said enough yesterday.
Ann is not here. She probably made her choice. I do feel a little sad though.
I walk off through the morning mist. About five days ahead by horse riding. It should take me a while.
Well... I'm off with a bit of a smile.
I disappear from the others sight, though I feel fully in this world now.
Walking with someone is reassuring. Walking alone is refreshing. I like it too sometimes.
I have a compass from Zeslinry, mounted at the end of a strange knife's hilt. The knife has a coloured blade and is dented like a saw on one edge.
I wonder what kind of use this knife is for. It looks so unpractical. The compass helps though. I can walk without following the roads and cut across the land my way ahead.
I'm leaving the city. It's all deliciously quiet. Until I hear someone calling my name.
I stop and wait. I hear her. Ann is coming along in the end. That makes me smile too.
~
She tells me that travelling with me makes her life interesting. I make it worthy to travel she says. I make the world worthy of discovering. I'm still so praiseworthy to her. So much...
I'm thinking about it. I thought for a time that I managed to understand her because I accepted her as she is. But the truth is I never really understood her. I just thought I did.
I make her sign to follow me. We're going back to hell, to learn more about our present selves.
If she enjoys like by being next to me, I won't mind. I still feel something awfully gloomy about her though. Uneasy with flesh.
But well. We'll see what happens next when we get there.
~