(Rose)
I'm in a train heading north. It's raining outside. It's oddly not a light summer rain, but a true downpour with an oppressive leaden sky.
It's icy. It doesn't feel like summer. In a few minutes it will become a storm. Thunder will fall from the sky along with even more water, in waves.
The train shakes a little. I clench onto my bag, as I look outside. The wind makes the windows shake loudly.
I have a moment of irrational fear that the weather may shatter the place and throw me out into the elements. The glass of the windows sounds so frail.
I'm still a little anxious about trains crashes.
~
The train goes so fast. I'm beginning my travel to return home. My journey went nicely, and it's only been a few days, but I already miss home. I want to return as fast as I can.
The storm outside makes me feel a little unsecure. I know I'm safe in here. My instincts still tell me I should hide in a hole while the sky is mad. Being sheltered in this technological wonder feels good, but also a little unsettling. At times like that I realise how impressive our age is. The train keeps rolling, unfazed, while I would have hidden and waited for the sun to return.
I feel frail, so frail on my own. But I'm not alone. We have more lights at nights in the houses and cities, because we still fear night a little. I know I do, along with awful weather like that.
I trust the strength of this train, as much as I can. I'm anxious. I'm worried. Good thing I don't have a vivid imagination. All I can do is act calmly and orderly.
People say of me that I'm wise and act as such. I give that feeling of peaceful knowledgeable person. The truth is, I only have necessary pragmatism to guide my actions. I'm not a natural in my world, and I hardly come up with original ideas. So I simply don't act much out of the ordinary.
The more I think about it, about me and what to do, the less I'm able to think about anything.
If I try to reflect on such things for too long, it's like a fog rises to cloud my mind. Everything goes blank inside my head after a while and I forget what I was doing and what I was trying to think about.
It would take me months to come up with any idea remotely original by myself. I just can't seem to change the way I would want.
Ah. The lightning and thunder began to disgracefully tear the sky apart. Now it's definitely a storm we're going through. And one of the heaviest I've ever seen probably.
I can still see a few people outside here and there. Some still around flocks, or walking to their homes further in the distance. We have such a dark sky looming over us this morning.
I wish I could just see my home a mile away and walk there. I wouldn't mind the downpour there.
Because I know how welcoming this place is to me. Overflowing warmth. Some rough times and odd things, but mostly peace, almost bliss...
I want to go home so badly it aches, and I come to wish the train would go even faster.
~
I'm dozing off unwillingly. I feel sleepy but my various primal fears keep me awake most of the times I feel myself go.
There's a mixture of anxiety keeping me awake. I fear the weather, I fear an accident with the train. I'm uneasy with the presence of the men in here even. Usually I manage.
I glance around. We're not many. They all seem bored or asleep already. Some of the kids still play around.
I keep holding my bag, afraid to lose it. It contains an arguably important and valuable book I've been given.
It's old and written in a language I can't even read. Luckily, there's a bundle of notes attached to it, including a translation into modern English.
This document may perhaps help with something happening at home. I wish it was just about gardening.
I went so far out of my way to find this, just for this chance to help her...
I've been away for so long... I ache. It was painful to go but I had to. I had to follow that lead and find that, because we're searching for anything that could help us at this point.
I found it. I have this knowledge just between my hands. Now I don't really want to read it though, I just long to return home.
I'll still read a few random parts of the research notes though. I like to read.
Especially tales of whimsical spirits like that.
~
The train should reach my destination in a few more hours. From that station, I will take another train, that should bring me to my hometown before the end of this day.
What else could happen but a few delays?
If even this foul weather can't slow down our train, it's unlikely anything will. It makes a lot of noises, but we're still on our way.
I've been dozing off again. Thunder outside still making me jump slightly and wake up. I held tighter on my bag each time it occurred.
I briefly saw the winds outside changing directions. It stopped the rain hitting against this side of the train, to instead attack firmly on the other side.
I can see the light of day in the distance, meaning that heavy cloud has an end, and the area under the storm may not be that wide.
Behind the streams of water falling from the sky, I can see the fissure of bright day light.
Hopefully the train will exit that bad weather shortly.
I closed my eyes, thinking about what will happen next.
Next, I will arrive at that station. Then, I will take another train... Then... I will return home...
I miss you.
How late could I be at worse? Everything should be fine. I'll arrive before the end of the day...
How longer than intended can a homecoming journey be? What's the worst that could happen?
My mind wanders in doubts, but surely is falling asleep.
On my lap I hold the bag. I can't think about anything else now. I still hear the rain against the train. It slowly fades in my ears. I'm safe here.
Outside is another world. I'm safe in here.
I'll eventually fall asleep for a little while. Nothing's going to happen meanwhile.
I fell asleep that day.
I guess...
~
Returning from London on August 12th 1925.
Faithfully yours my dearest,
Rose.
~