Derick directly chopped with a Deadpool knife.
Ding! A string of sparks exploded as the two blades clashed.
"Return my third wife to me! The next time I go out to kill bad guys and need to take a shit, I still want to use it!"
"Fuck! Here, take it back! Can't you just bring some paper?" Watson threw the knife to Deadpool with disgust.
"No, that would ruin my perfect aesthetic!"
"Alright, this is the last round!" Watson said, stepping forward and extending his hands. A white light flickered in his palms.
The light stretched and elongated, forming a four-meter-long flying dragon blade—Red Leaf.
"Wow... oh... why!!" Deadpool suddenly turned toward the sky and yelled, "Why! He gets such badass armor! Such a badass weapon! When is it my turn in the script? How can someone be cooler than me, stronger than me—and have white light effects!!!" Then he turned back to Watson and said, "No matter! I'm taking that sword! No! This script needs revision!!!"
Then, he rushed forward, faster than before, leaping high!
His two downward blades struck like fangs. And then—
Poo...
He was stuck midair, impaled by a four-meter-long blade.
"Fak! Forgot you had such length! And so thick!! Ah... oh... ow... hold on a sec... almost there... I almost got you! Ah..." Deadpool groaned while trying to slide himself downward... Blood splattered everywhere... Then, as if remembering something, he immediately swung his twin blades at Red Leaf!
Ding ding! Sparks flew with two crisp metallic rings. Deadpool's mouth fell open again. "Shit!! This thing is hard as hell!!! His girlfriend must be miserable..."
Watson rolled his eyes and then slashed downward, cutting across Deadpool's shoulder.
A splash of blood arced through the air.
Thud. A half-dead Deadpool collapsed onto the ground, his twin blades landing beside him.
"Fak!! I'm gonna kill you!!! I'll put your head on the Statue of Liberty and piss in your mouth!!!"
Derick walked over, squatted down, and raised his right hand.
Seeing Watson's movement, Deadpool quickly shut his eyes and screamed, "Wait! Not the face…! Even if this mug wakes me up at night, making me piss myself when I see it in the mirror—it's still my face!"
Huh? … Wait… Where's the usual burst of pain?
Deadpool cracked an eye open.
Watson was holding his two halves together.
"Did I miss?"
"Lower. Yeah, right there. Try again—ah!!! Thank you! Much better now."
System! Decompose one small healing potion. Requires three units of 10%.
Derick glanced at the system interface, checking his health bar—already back to 100%.
It looked like his regeneration had increased proportionally… If he guessed right, he could probably trade blows with the lunatic in front of him.
A flash of light flickered in Watson's hand as he pulled out a 'large' green potion. He stepped forward, crouched down, and ripped off Deadpool's mask.
"Dude, that's cold. You gonna poison me? Well, joke's on you—I can't be poisoned."
Watson ignored him and said, "Drink this. It'll speed up your healing."
"Oh, thanks." Deadpool took the potion and gulped it down without hesitation. It's not like he could die from poison, anyway.
"...Watermelon flavor? Man, I prefer apple. Can you switch flavors next time?"
As he spoke, his wounds suddenly began sealing up at an unnaturally rapid pace.
"Ahhh~ Ahhh~~"
"Shut up!"
A moment later, Deadpool stood up. "Damn, that was amazing! Feels better than Sage Mode! Man, do you have more of that stuff? I think I'm in love!"
Derick walked over to the 'girlfriend's gift,' lifted it, and tossed it at Deadpool's feet. "So, how much is this guy worth?"
Deadpool glanced at the 'girlfriend's gift' by his feet and said, "Fifty grand."
"The 'watermelon juice' I just gave you is worth seventy grand."
"WHAT?! FUCK!!!" Deadpool instantly gagged and tried to puke. "Why didn't you—!! Vomit!!! No— Vomit—earlier— Vomit! Tell me—!!!"
"What are you doing?"
"I'M TRYING TO THROW UP SEVENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!!!"
Derick rolled his eyes and ignored him, instead sitting near the edge, watching the traffic below.
Plop. Deadpool flopped down next to him, slouching in frustration.
"Don't be so down," Watson said, smirking. "At least you still have that fifty grand, right?"
Deadpool turned to him, surprised. "Wait, are you giving it to me? But I haven't beaten you yet!"
"Next time. Even if you won today, how about we call it even and be friends?"
"Oh! Man, you're awesome! I accept your friendship!"
Then, Deadpool pulled out a piece of white paper, two brushes, and a tiny recorder labeled 'Wade.'
He pressed play.
zzt... Hey, yaeh, Iwannashoop, baby~
As the music played, Deadpool started sketching on the paper beside Watson.
"Today, Deadpool was chasing a big bad guy~ And then he got help from a new friend~ Hmm... And they fought each other a little too~ But in the end, they were really happy~"
Two stick-figure villains appeared on the paper. Suddenly, Deadpool stopped, turned to Watson, and said, "Shit! Dude, why do you look way cooler than me?! Whatever."
Then, he finished writing at the bottom:
"The most handsome Deadpool baby Wade and..."
"Watson Diarant," Watson supplied.
"...the ugliest detective baby Watson! Perfect! Here, take it!"
Watson sighed, took the paper, and shook his head with a helpless smile.
"Wade, how long have you been with your girlfriend?" Watson asked suddenly.
"Hmm... about three years? Watson, I suddenly regret not meeting you sooner." Deadpool turned and looked at him.
"Because if I had, back when I was hunting that bastard Francis, I definitely would've called you to help! You'd be more reliable than my dad!"
"Your dad?" Watson asked, raising a brow.
"Yeah, he doesn't even have an actor—his whole body is made of CGI, all steel! You know, steel!! So obviously, he doesn't have a girlfriend!"
Watson blinked, realization dawning. "Wait, you mean Colossus from the X-Men?"
"Yep!" Deadpool suddenly grinned. "Detective, do you and your girlfriend ever team up for 'co-op missions'?"