Something that Lincoln was always curious about was the circumstances behind his birth. Due to being the only boy amongst ten sisters, he wondered if he was actually adopted. Though he supposed the Valentines day incident disproved that theory. His parents never really gave a straight answer and unlike his sisters, the story of his birth wasn't written down. He decided to ask his older sisters about it though their answers didn't really help. Lori claimed that a car pulled up to their house and a scientist wearing a mask and gloves stepped out holding him. Leni claimed that he was carried in by an eagle. Luna claimed that when Mom and Dad arrived home, a bunch of guys in dark suits and sunglasses jumped out, surrounded the house, and started talking into their watches. This almost made Lincoln believe he was some kind of super mutant or alien though he supposed Rick would know if that was the case. He decided to finally confront his parents about this as he was currently sitting in the living room with both of them.
"Well, the day you were born got off to a pretty normal start." Rita started. "My water broke, we called Pop Pop, he came over to watch your older sisters..."
"I drove your mother over to the hospital in Vanzilla, but not surprisingly, she broke down." Lynn Sr. continued. "Uh, the van, not your mother. And that's when things stopped being normal."
"We were afraid you were going to be born on the side of the road, but thankfully, a black limo pulled up."
"Could have knocked me over with a feather, it was the President and the First Lady! When I told them what was going on, they offered to give us a ride to the hospital."
"Everything was looking fine again, but you weren't a very patient baby. We weren't going to make it to the hospital. You were going to be delivered by the President, until he passed out. Then the First Lady took over."
"What an amazing woman." Lynn Sr. gushed. "She was so cool under pressure."
"Of course, you had to hear that from me, since you were passed out, too." Rita teased.
Lynn Sr. tapped his chin. "That's not how I remember it."
"Anyway, she delivered you right there in the limo. When we saw you for the first time..." Rita sighed. "Our hearts just melted."
"The reason we never told you was because the President-" Lynn Sr. paused before he started whispering. "...because the President was heading to his top secret safe house in Royal Woods. No one knows about it, and no one can."
"We had to sign an agreement saying we'd never discuss it."
"Wow! That's amazing!" Lincoln exclaimed.
Lynn Sr. chuckled. "And if that wasn't crazy enough, that President was actually voted out after his first term. But, eight years later, he got voted back in and now he's President again!"
Lincoln's eyes widened as he then realised something. "But wait, if that's the case, how come you didn't tell me when we met the President during the whole head thing?"
Lynn Sr. chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. "Guess I was a little distracted by the whole head thing...and by being in a band again. I'm surprised the President didn't recognise me. Though I suppose it has been twelve years since then."
Rick then entered the living room, carrying a martini glass. An excited Lincoln then turned to him. "Grandpa Rick, did you know that-"
"That you were delivered by the President of the United States? Or more accurately, his wife?" Rick interrupted. "Yeah, I know. For the record, not impressed."
"Ah, come on Dad. How often does that ever happen?" Lynn Sr. argued.
"Lynn, it's happened to everyone an infinite amount of times across infinite realities. It's not that impressive. Besides, the President's nothing special. He's just a figurehead to make Americans believe they have any kind of control over how the Government works."
Everyone then heard the sound of a helicopter outside. Rick and Lincoln went over to the front door and opened it to see two government agents get out of the helicopter and approach them. "Gentlemen, you're needed by a friend in Washington!" One of them shouted, struggling to be heard over the whirring helicopter blades."
"How clandestine." Rick remarked before getting out his portal gun and firing under Lincoln's feet, causing him to fall into it before jumping into it himself.
The other agent seemed irritated about this. "If they can teleport, why did we take..."
"I just work here, Steve, same as you!"
...
At the White House, the President was speaking to two of his army generals when both Rick and Lincoln arrived. He turned to approach them. "It's about time, gentlemen. Rick, do you need to drink in here?"
"Yes." Rick replied after finishing his drink.
"Mr. President! Don't you remember me?" Lincoln asked excitedly.
The President raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry?"
"Twelve years ago, you and your wife were in Royal Woods. You gave my mom and dad, Lynn and Rita Loud, a trip to hospital but ended up helping my Mom give birth to me." Lincoln explained. "Don't you remember any of that?"
The President took a moment to think about it. His eyes then widened as it all started to come back to him. "Now I remember. I knew I recognised the name 'Loud' from somewhere." He chuckled. "Well, I didn't think I'd ever see your family again."
"Uh, wasn't there a reason you called us here?" Rick asked, irritably.
The President cleared his throat. "Ah yes. Some kind of alien... googa has infested the Kennedy sex Tunnels. I want it hunted down and taken out."
"Kennedy sex tunnels?" Rick asked.
"Naturally, you'll forget you saw them, along with, in order of national embarrassment, the Truman Cocaine Lounge, the McKinley Hooker Dump, and the Lincoln Slave Coliseum. He didn't free them all." He then smiled pleasantly as he put an arm around Lincoln. "Now, while your grandpa handles that, how about I give you a little tour of the White House?"
Lincoln gasped in glee. "Whoa, seriously?"
The President chuckled. "Of course!" The two then walked away while Rick gave both of them an insulted look.
...
Rick walked through the tunnels, carrying a beeping radar. The beeping started to get faster before he heard a roar as a strange, dog-like alien appeared and charged towards him. Rick got out his laser gun and simply shot it a couple times, killing it. Rick then facepalmed, groaning. "This sucks." How Lincoln could still be impressed with the President after everything he's seen annoyed him to no end. He supposed young, dumb people considered it an honour to work with him or something. Whatever the case, he was sick of being called in whenever he had some kind of problem. It was about time he put an end to this.
...
"And here, you'll find my office." The President said as the two entered the room.
"Whoa..." Lincoln gasped as he looked around.
Suddenly a portal appeared in the Oval office as an annoyed Rick stepped out. "We're done, Lincoln. Let's go."
"Now hold on, I haven't even finished giving my tour yet." The President argued.
"Yeah, can't I stay just a little longer, Grandpa Rick?" Lincoln pleaded.
Rick pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Lincoln, I'm sure you have better things to do than waste your time hanging out with a spoiled control freak that thinks he runs the world and orders drone strikes to cope with his insecurity."
"Excuse me?!" The President snapped.
"You heard me." Rick retorted. "Also, we're done doing favours for you. We're not the Ghostbusters. Next time you need someone to wipe your ass, go bother someone else." Rick then fired another portal.
"You can't just blow off America!" The President stated angrily.
"I just did." Rick retorted as he grabbed Lincoln's arm and dragged him through the portal, leaving a fuming President.
...
The next day, at Royal Woods Middle School, Lincoln was sat in the lunchroom with Clyde and Sid as the three listened to an anecdote from Ronnie Anne. "So it turned out my Uncle Carlos was a skateboarder! He even taught me some cool tricks last night!"
"Wow! I never would've guessed your uncle was into that." Sid remarked.
"Me neither. Especially since all he's been talking about lately is parallel universes and stuff." Ronnie Anne said, rolling her eyes.
"So, anything interesting happen to you lately, Lincoln?" Clyde.
Lincoln swallowed the bite of sandwich he had been chewing on. "Well I found something out recently but..." A disappointed look appeared on Lincoln's face. "I'm not sure I'm allowed to tell you guys about it."
Suddenly, the school intercom turned on as everyone in the lunchroom heard Principal Ramirez's voice. "Attention students! I have an exciting announcement to make!" She said in a giddy voice. "Today, you'll be spending lunch with none other than the President of the United States!"
The President then entered the lunchroom. He was accompanied by two security guards and was already holding a lunch tray. "Hello, everyone!" He greeted everyone with a big smile. As everyone stared at him in shock, he made his way over to sit at Lincoln's table. "Just thought I'd pay my good friend, Lincoln Loud, a visit."
Ronnie Anne and Sid's jaws dropped while Clyde did a spit take. "You're friends with the President?!" Sid asked Lincoln, flabbergasted.
Lincoln had been gaping at the President in surprise. "Uhh-"
"Of course we're friends!" The President interrupted before getting out his phone. "Say, Lincoln, how about we take that selfie that you wanted together?"
"S-Sure!" Lincoln stammered. The President then put an arm around Lincoln before taking the selfie. Clyde was in the background of the photo, staring at the two in disbelief.
A portal then appeared as Rick stepped out of it. "Hey, Lincoln, we're-" Rick paused upon noticing the President. "Oh, what the hell is this?"
The President's smile disappeared. "Oh, Rick. I would've thought you would have better things to do than bother your grandson at school."
Rick stared at the President in disbelief. "Are you for real?"
The President then stood up. "You're in no position to ask if I'm for real. You break a thousand federal laws a day."
Rick actually seemed rather proud of this. "Wow, really? That's pretty cool."
The President was trying hard not to lose his temper. "And sure, you save the world now and then. America returns that favour by not holding you accountable to its laws."
"Oh, well, didn't realise you saw it that way." Rick said sarcastically. "Don't exactly see how coming in to do favours for you fits into that though. Also, I just assumed you didn't try to arrest us was because you knew it wouldn't go well."
The President narrowed his eyes. "Wouldn't go well? Care to elaborate?"
"I mean, it's kind of obvious. I'm the smartest man in the universe. You're not anything special." Rick then addressed everyone else in the lunchroom. "You kids think this guy's anything special? Trust me, he'll be completely irrelevant once his term's ended. Now watch this." Rick then got out some kind of device that and fired it at seemingly nothing before a huge chocolate cake suddenly appeared. "That was a dust particle. Can the President make a chocolate cake from a dust particle?" As everyone gasped in amazement, Rick addressed the President again. "Also, it's pretty obvious that you're only hanging out with my grandson to make me jealous. You're not exactly being subtle. Oh but don't worry. I'll keep saving the Earth. Not because it contains America though. It's mostly just because me, my family and their friends have to live on it."
"Oh please!" The President snapped. "America doesn't need you and it never has."
As Rick and the President kept arguing, a thought then occurred to Clyde. "Dude, the President and the smartest guy in the universe are both fighting over you!" Clyde said to Lincoln.
One of Lincoln's classmates approached Lincoln with a grin on his face. "Hey Lincoln! Can I sit next to you?"
Another student then came up to him. "No way! Lincoln would rather sit with me!"
Mr. Goldenfold then shoved both of them out of the way. "Screw y'all, I'm sitting with Lincoln!"
Lincoln smirked. "I could get used to this."
...
Meanwhile, at Royal Woods High School, Luna was having lunch at a table by herself, wanting to be alone. As she was eating, someone took a seat next to her. "Hey, Luna."
Luna's eyes widened as she looked at that person. "S-Sam?"
Sam took a deep breath to calm herself before she started speaking. "I'm sorry I ran away. I said I wouldn't judge you for what you did but...after hearing that..."
Luna shook her head. "S'ok dude. I understand. I had a feeling that you would've hated me after hearing that anyway."
There was a moment of silence before Sam sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just...it was a lot to take in. Like, a lot lot. I really just needed time to let it all sink in. After thinking about it, there's a couple things I need to ask you." She looked at Luna with a frown. "First, how could you try using a love potion on me?"
A look of shame appeared on Luna's face. "I'm sorry. I was just so scared of how you might've reacted and what you might have thought of me. I was a coward."
"Dude, I was scared too!" Sam admitted. "When I told you I was gay, I thought for sure you'd reject me. You have no idea how relieved I was when you told me you felt the same." Her expression softened. "I guess, in a way, I understand what you were going through. But still, you realise that trying to use a love potion on me was completely messed up, right?"
"Of course!" Luna insisted. "If I could take it all back, I'd do it in a heartbeat!"
Sam nodded, satisfied with Luna's answer. "The other thing that really bothered me was...you're not the same Luna as the one I first met."
Luna frowned. "Maybe not literally. But we're still the same person. Grandpa Rick told me that me and that other me had identical lives up to now."
"You remember when we first met?"
Luna nodded. "Back when we first took music classes together. I wasn't anything near the girl I am today though."
Sam chuckled. "Yeah, you kinda looked like a dork back then."
Luna chuckled awkwardly. "Yeah..."
Sam sighed. "I guess when I really thought about it, if you hadn't come here, I would've woken up one morning and found out you were dead."
There was a twinkle of hope in Luna's eyes. "So...you're not bothered by everything else that happened?"
"I am but...the more I thought about, the more I realised a lot of what happened seemed like it was mostly your grandpa's fault." Luna frowned at this, despite knowing that Sam made a good point. Sam sighed again. "Maybe this is kind of messed up but...after thinking about it for so long, I realised that I wouldn't have tried for so long to try and justify what you did if a part of me didn't want things to go back to normal."
Luna's eyes widened. "So what you're saying is...?"
Sam frowned. "I appreciate you being honest with me about what happened. Even when you would have probably gotten away with just keeping that a secret but...I don't know if I want to jump back into a relationship with you yet." Lune deflated at this. "But still, I want to start things over with you so..." She held her hand out. "Friends?"
A grateful smile appeared on Luna's face as she shook Sam's hand. "Friends."
"Just one more thing. Can you promise me that nothing that'd force you to move to another universe will ever happen again?"
Luna nodded, giving Sam a serious look. "Don't worry. Nothing like that will ever happen again. I'll make sure it doesn't." Inwardly, Luna felt like crying. She couldn't believe her luck. Sure, things weren't quite okay between them yet but this was definitely a step up from what she had expected.
However, while Sam was smiling, in the back of her mind, she couldn't help but think about what kind of a monster Luna's grandfather was.
...
Lori was in the living room, texting with Bobby when a portal appeared with Rick and Lincoln stepping out of it. Lincoln was smirking while Rick was in the middle of a rant. "Seriously Lincoln, that guy's a loser! You know you'll get nothing of value hanging out with him, right?"
Lincoln pretended to think about it. "Hmm, I dunno. Hanging out with the President did make me more popular at school."
"That's because they're a bunch of young dumbasses that get taught to worship the government!"
Lincoln ignored Rick's argument as he went upstairs, causing Rick to let out a groan of frustration. "What's going on?" Lori asked.
"The President, being the insecure control freak he is, is trying to use Lincoln to make me jealous."
Lori raised an eyebrow. "Are you jealous?"
Rick rolled his eyes. "Please, the President isn't anything special. I've seen realities where reality TV stars became President. Literally anyone could do it."
Suddenly, the front door bursted open as Luna ran in with a huge smile on her face. "Dudes! You're not gonna believe this! Sam actually started talking to me again!"
This actually surprised Rick. "Whoa, seriously?"
Lori smiled. "That's great, Luna. Does that mean you're back together again?"
Luna paused. "Eh, not quite. But it's more than what I was expecting. Though, there's something else I need to do." She turned to Rick and gave him a serious expression. "Rick, I need you to promise me that we'll never have to move realities ever again."
Rick raised an eyebrow. "Uh-"
"Please Rick. I don't think any of us could handle something like that again. Can you please just promise this?"
Rick groaned. "Jesus, fine, I'll...do what I can to prevent that from happening again."
Luna gave a satisfied nod before she made her way upstairs. Once she left, Rick remarked. "Huh. Gotta admit. Did not expect that happening."
Lori shrugged. "Sometimes, just being honest can actually help."
Rick raised a pointed eyebrow at her. "So, does that mean you're going to tell Bobby about what really happened?"
Lori folded her arms, frowning. "I never did anything to Bobby. I literally have no reason to tell him about what happened."
Before Rick could make a retort, a device in his coat pocket started beeping. Once he got it out, he started smiling. "Ooh, a tiny nuclear-capable species just got discovered in the Amazon. I'm gonna go make first contact before someone else gets all their shit. You in, Lori?"
"Aren't you gonna take Lincoln?"
Rick scoffed. "So I can listen to him blab on about how great the President is? No thanks."
Lori shrugged and put her phone away. "Alright then. But this better not get dangerous."
...
Upon arriving in the Amazon jungle where the tiny society was located, Rick landed the cruiser in an area surrounded by Brazilian soldiers. As he and Lori got out, the soldiers aimed their guns at them. Rick put his hands in the air. "Don't do it, guys. The casualties would be in the "Brazilians" because you're Brazilian. It's a threat and a pun." The soldiers didn't give him any reaction. "Nobody gets me."
Another Brazilian soldier, cutting down vines with a machete, then arrived. "Americanos! Pressa!"
At this, the Brazilian soldiers started to flee the area. Rick and Lori then turned to see some tanks arrive, running down some trees on the way while American soldiers dropped in by helicopter, immediately aiming their guns at Rick and Lori. Two of the helicopters were carrying a machine that they placed between two trucks. The sides of the trucks then opened up as they then assembled what looked like a portal machine with beams of electricity connecting the the trucks to the machine. A soldier came up to it and lit a match that caused a blue portal to appear. The President then stepped out of it. If Lori had seen this two years ago, she would've been shocked by this groundbreaking discovery. As it was now though, it just seemed kind of unimpressive. The President gave Rick a fake smile. "Oh. Hello, Rick. You're here, too. I guess this is a global crisis."
Rick facepalmed. "Oh, God. Mr. President, Lori and I have the situation covered."
"I'm sure you did." The President narrowed his eyes. "Dismissed."
"Dismissed?"
"Yeah, dismissed." The President put his hands on his hips. "Not needed here. You can leave and nobody will care. Have you never heard that before?"
"Do you even know how to take out this kind of threat?"
"We're not taking it out. We're going to shrink down and approach them diplomatically." The President snapped his fingers. One of his scientists then stepped forward and open a case that had eight pills and a tiny space ship in it. The scientist then placed the ship onto the ground and passed a pill to each member of the President's task force.
"You shrink with pills?" Rick asked.
"Are you still here?" The President snapped. "Why don't you go spend time with your grandson?" He then grinned. "Oh wait, he doesn't want to spend time with you anymore, does he?"
"Oh, for fuck's sake, you know you weren't even the one that delivered him, right? Your wife did after you passed out like a little bitch."
"That's it! Do it!" The President ordered. Two soldiers then came up to Rick and Lori and placed specialised handcuffs on them. "Recognize the rare element Sanchez-eum? We've been preparing for a Rick-level eventuality for some time."
"Hey, I literally have nothing to do with whatever's going on between you two!" Lori snapped.
The President ignored Lori and addressed his task force. "Task Force Alpha, prepare to shrink."
"Is there a Task Force Alpha health plan, by the way?" Rick asked. "Because if those pills are based on subatomic compression, you could get a more curable cancer just walking through the mushroom clouds."
The task force started to look nervous. Seeing this, The President angrily snatched one of the pills from them. "God damn it! I'll do it." He then swallowed one of the pills.
"Whoa." Rick said, somewhat impressed.
The President then started to slowly shrink, though his clothes didn't shrink along with him. The President turned to one of his scientists, looking slightly nervous. "Is this supposed to be painful?"
"Painful to watch." Rick remarked. "Ugh, such lame shrinking."
Lori raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "So, you guys didn't prepare any miniature outfits or anything then?"
"Eat my shrinking ass!" The President shouted in a high pitched voice. Once the shrinking was finished, Rick and Lori saw him running out of his sleeve and over to the miniature spaceship.
"There he goes." Rick remarked as the spaceship flew off. "All right. Let's get out of here, Lori." Rick then simply took his handcuffs off before getting out his laser gun and shooting Lori's handcuffs off.
"What the hell?!" One of the generals yelled.
"I made Sanchez-eum up, dumbasses. Don't believe everything you read on Wikipedia. Come on, Lori." Rick got out his portal gun and fired a portal. He and Lori quickly went through it before anyone could do anything about it.
...
After a quick visit to the tiny society, Lori soon found herself in a rather strange situation. She and Rick were in an alien cantina, playing cards with the Presidents of Israel and Palestine as they and Rick passed around and smoked what looked like an alien bong. Seeing the lengths that Rick would go to spite the President, Lori then realised something about Rick. He cared a lot about what his grandchildren thought. Especially what they thought of him. While it was kind of sweet knowing that he cared about what they thought, she also realised this was why he tried to make himself out as perfect and that he was the only one worth listening to. He didn't exactly show how much he cared in the healthiest of ways. "Grandpa Rick, not that I want to discourage from trying to make peace with Israel and Palestine but are you just doing all this because you're upset that Lincoln is friends with the President?"
Rick let out a long sigh. "You know...maybe."
Lori blinked in surprise. "Well that was surprisingly honest of you."
"It's probably the perspective-enhancing alien pheromones." Rick explained, looking rather relaxed and laidback. "They really open your mind." He then offered the bong to Lori. "You wanna try it?"
Lori raised a hand. "Um, I'll pass. So, since you're being so open-minded now, wouldn't you say you're acting a little possessive?"
Rick rolled his eyes. "Maybe from your perspective."
Lori sighed. "Lincoln's his own person too, you know? He's allowed to hang out with the President if he wants to. But...would it make you feel better if you knew he appreciated you?"
Rick took a moment to think about it. "Well, it wouldn't change much but...I guess it'd be nice."
Lori smiled. A little bit of progress was better than no progress at all. Perhaps if Rick was shown that he was appreciated, he may not feel the need to go over the top in proving how perfect he was. "Then I'll go talk to Lincoln once we're back home."
...
Upon arriving at the miniature society, The President eventually flew into a parking lot where a green alien-like man with a round head was trying to signal him on where to go. However, the directions confused the President as he was pointing both left and right. "Where do I go?" The President asked. The green man flapped both his arms. The President, still irritated with Rick, imitated him. "What does th... What... What...What...What does this mean? This means nothing."
"Pull forward and park." The green man explained.
"Then say that, God damn it!" The President snapped. The green man frowned in response, making the President feel somewhat guilty. "Sorry. Bad day."
After parking, the President was then led to the green people's leader in her palace, who was currently lying on a chaise longue throne. "I am Presidentress of the Mega Gargantuans." The Presidentress greeted. "We named ourselves before learning we were small."
The President gave her a pleasant smile. "Madam Presidentress, I'm President of America, which is basically the world, but you didn't hear that from me. I've come to-"
"I know who you are." The Presidentress interrupted. "We've already agreed to a ceasefire with your ambassadors, Rick and Lori."
The President frowned. "Rick was here?"
"Of course he was here. He can shrink instantly and teleport." The Presidentress explained. "He told me to give you this." A servant then handed a white shirt to the President that had the text 'Best President Ever' on it. "He said it will stretch as your cancer pill wears off and your body awkwardly enlarges at the rate of a '50s movie."
"Are there pants?" The President asked, angrily.
"He said you'd prefer just a shirt. Apparently, you have a need to swing your dick around?"
...
The President, now wearing the shirt, approached his generals as he slowly grew back to normal size. "Rick and his granddaughter escaped." One of the generals informed him.
"No shit!" The President snapped. "Take me to my safe house in Royal Woods."
"You'll want to make a stop at the White House?" Another general asked.
"I have pants at the safe house, Rhonda. It's in my contract."
"I mean you need to call a press conference. Israel and Palestine have announced a permanent ceasefire."
"What?"
"They signed something called 'The Pretty Obvious If You Think About It' accord." The first general explained. "Apparently, an anonymous American diplomat took them to a 'Star Wars' cantina, where they smoked perspective-enhancing alien pheromones through a laser hookah."
"I still say it has to be Putin." The third general remarked.
"It was Rick, you fucking dunce!" The President snapped.
"But you're getting the credit, sir. Your approval rating just hit 100%. Why would Rick want that?"
"Because he's an asshole!" The President took a moment to calm down. "Alright, fine. If Rick wants to play dirty then two can play at that game."
...
A portal appeared in Rick's garage as Lori and Rick stepped out of it. Rick appeared to be having a headache. "Ugh..."
"Are you okay?" Lori asked.
"I'm fine, just...give me a minute." A minute later, Rick appeared to have recovered. "Ok, I'm good. And, uh, do you mind not telling anyone what I told you back there?"
Lori rolled her eyes. "Sure, fine."
The two then left the garage and entered the living room, only to pause upon seeing Lynn Sr. and Rita sitting with the President, along with two security guards. "Hello, Rick." The President greeted with an icy tone.
"Can you believe this?!" Rita asked excitedly. The President is going to have dinner with us tonight!"
"Oh, you've gotta be shitting me." Rick grumbled.
...
Dinner seemed rather tense at the table as Rick and the President spent most of the time glaring at each other. However, it seemed like everyone except Rita and Lynn Sr. could see it. "Mr. President, it is such an honour to have you here!" Rita gushed. "I'm surprised you still remember us after all this time."
Mr. President chuckled. "Yes, well, it has been a while."
"So, how's the misses doing?" Lynn Sr.
The President waved his hand dismissively. "Oh, probably busy as usual. It has been a rather busy day after all. Making peace with both Israel and Palestine wasn't easy."
"Are you fucking serious?" Rick snapped. "You know it was me that did that!"
The President smirked. "That doesn't seem to be how the media sees it."
"I did that so you'd get off our backs and leave me and my family alone. I gave you what you wanted so why don't you just forget we exist and we'll return the favour?"
"You can't tell me what to do, I'm the God damn President!"
"Do you seriously not have anything more important to do then try and pit my own grandson against me?"
"This coming from the man who only does things for his own benefit?"
Lori noticed that everyone at the table didn't seem to know how to react to the President and Rick arguing though she also noticed that Lincoln appeared to be smirking. She sighed and got up. "Lincoln, can I speak with you outside for a moment?"
Lincoln raised an eyebrow. "Uh, sure." He got up and followed her to the next room.
"Lincoln, I need you to put a stop to this." Lori explained.
"Uh, how am I supposed to do that?"
"Grandpa Rick's only fighting with the President over you. Maybe if you told Grandpa Rick how much you appreciated him, he might stop trying to fight with him."
Lincoln frowned. "Why would I do that? It's not as if Rick ever said how much he appreciated any of us."
Lori sighed. "This might be hard to believe but Grandpa Rick actually cares a lot about what we think of him. I know he doesn't have the best way of showing it but if we told him how much we appreciate him, maybe he'll start doing the same for us."
Lincoln frowned in thought for a moment before a guilty look appeared on his face. "This is my fault, isn't it?"
"What do you mean?"
"I...might have encouraged Rick to fight with the President. Sorry, it's just that the President and the smartest man in the universe fighting over me seemed kinda cool. I shouldn't have let it get to my head."
Lori was disappointed in Lincoln at first. Though, she also remembered that Lincoln had some self esteem issues as well. She sighed. "Well it's not as if Rick hasn't done worse. I know Rick isn't the easiest to deal with but wouldn't you say this way would be literally better for everyone?"
Lincoln frowned again. "I guess but...I kinda find it hard to imagine Rick doing the same."
"Well, you'll never know unless you try."
...
Rick and The President were still arguing after Lincoln and Lori left the room. "You don't have any authority over me. I'm a God compared to you!" Rick boasted.
"I should have you expatriated for what you've done!" The President yelled.
"DUDES!" Luna shouted, getting everyone's attention. "I don't know what's going on between you two but how's any of this going to help? Why don't you two just try being honest with each other?"
Rick scoffed. "You're seriously expecting a politician to be honest?"
"I'm an honest man!" The President argued.
Rick smirked, folding his arms. "Alright, then be honest about what this has really been about."
"Fine! I will." The President then hesitated for a moment as his expression softened. After a moment of contemplation, he let out a sigh. "Alright. Perhaps I...have been rather insecure. It's just that...the idea that one man could be more powerful than the full force of the United States government isn't an easy pill to swallow. I thought that if we were able to call you in for any kind of task that it'd at least feel like we had authority over you. Perhaps it was wrong of me to do so. I apologise for that and for trying to use your grandson to make you jealous."
Rick had been smirking until he realised everyone was looking at him expectantly. "What?"
"Don't you have anything to say?" Luna asked.
Rick groaned. "Alright, fine. Maybe I could've handled this situation better and just set some boundaries. Happy now?"
The President sighed. "I suppose."
"Good. So how's this deal? I keep saving the world when it needs saving and in return, you don't try to arrest me or my family."
"I suppose that's fair." The President then stood up. "I'll be taking my leave now. May I ask that nothing I've said ever leave this room please?"
"Like, why?" Leni asked.
"Just because your family appreciate honesty doesn't mean the rest of America does." At that, The President left the Loud house alongside his security guards.
At that moment, Lori and Lincoln then re-entered the dining room. "What's going on?" Lori asked.
"The President just left." Rick explained. "Don't worry, everything's totally cool between us."
This was a surprise to Lori. "Wait, really?"
"Yeah, turns out I was right all along. He was totally jealous of me."
This suddenly became slightly awkward. "Well, um, Lincoln has something to say to you."
Rick raised an eyebrow. "Is it that he's sorry for encouraging me and the President to keep fighting each other. Because I could totally tell that that's what he was doing. Like geez Lincoln, I know you have some self esteem issues but dick move man." Rick then left the living room, leaving Lincoln and Lori speechless.
"Well, that didn't go well." Lincoln remarked.
Lori sighed. Every time she thought she had figured Rick out, he threw in a curveball. She realised that if she were to really get through to Rick, she'd have to make more of an effort to truly understand him.