"I knew you'd come calling someday."
Seems just saying the numbers out loud was enough. Barns turns around and finds himself face to face with Zelia. She's as naked as ever, her hair wrapped around her intimate parts in a long, flowing twist. Her feet don't touch the ground - she floats.
"You look quite different than I remember. A little shorter, perhaps?"
"Hah hah, very funny," Barns rolls his eyes. "Hey, the crab affinity. Did you do that on purpose?"
Zelia adjusts herself into a sitting position, though she still floats above the ground. The way her legs are positioned makes it too easy to almost see -
"Eyes up here," Zelia smirks. "And of course I did. After all, aren't you the one who bragged and complained about being a legendary hero? And now you have a shot. One chance to save the world, and it's all riding on that crab of yours."
"So it will work? We defeat monsters, he cleanses them. And boom? Resurrection?"
Zelia's eyes flutter flirtatiously and she raises her eyebrows. "Boom."
Zelia leans in closer. Her hair loosens around her chest but I keep my eyes on hers. "And how's this for a good deal? You resurrect a million humans, and that little skill of yours becomes SSS - The Phoenix. With that, you'll be able to end the whole apocalypse. Save every. Last. Person."
'If I resurrect a million humans…I can save the world!'
Barns grips his hands tightly.
"I can do it. I'll save humanity, and do an apocalypse reset! Because my crab can heal the world! Gah, I gotta get that trademarked!"
Zelia's smile was undeniable - from ear to ear. She thought that little outburst was cute.
"A boy and his crab save the world from a monster apocalypse. You truly think you can do it?"
"I know I can. You just wait and see, Zelia! I'll let you watch the whole thing!"
Zelia's smile turns into a devilish smirk.
"Rest assured, I won't miss a second."
Barns turns toward Zelia, but she's already gone.
A system message pops up in front of him.
[Quest: Save A Million Lives.
Progress: 0/1000000]
'Hey, doesn't my life count? There's no way this orphan would have survived without me!'
[Progress: 1/1000000]
'So this 'system' can be bartered and argued with…'
Barns wonders if it is Zelia behind the scenes. It would make sense, she's got a good sense of humor.
'If I resurrect a couple cute girls, maybe Zelia will get jealous and I can have myself a whole harem…'
A system message pops up.
[No.]
Seems like Zelia IS behind those.
[Maybe.]
Barns snickers to himself. A maybe for the harem or a maybe for the messages?
Barns walks away to find his crab mentor Clancy. He wasn't surprised to find the King Crab standing on the beach, staring out into the ocean, totally still.
This is 'DECOMPRESS TIME', as King would call it. Barns was explicitly told to never approach during 'DECOMPRESS TIME', but it has never stopped him before.
"WE ARE LEAVING ISLAND HOME."
Barns smiles weakly. "That's right, big guy. You said you miss human woman, right? Well, we gotta go save 'em so you can see 'em!"
"ISLAND NICE. ME. BARNACLE. SIMPLE. HAPPY."
Barns buries his face in his hand. 'I cannot believe this crab raised me for twelve years…and I used to talk like this!'
Barns sits in the sand next to the crab and takes in the view. "Don't you want to do this? It's not just about the ladies, right King? You told me once you want to be the biggest Emperor Crab there ever was. Well, all the other crabs will just have to accept you as Emperor if you save the whole world!"
"SAVING WORLD. WOULD BE BETTER THAN OTHER 78,400 KING CRABS. VIABLE EMPEROR STRATEGY. EXCITING TIMES. NO LONGER MISS ISLAND. FULL SPEED AHEAD BARNACLES!"
Barns leaps onto Clancy's shell as the crab walks sideways into the ocean. Clancy releases a stream of bubbles from his crabby mouth, projecting them forward like a motorboat. Barns holds on tight and rides along Clancy's shell. They've done this before to visit some of the smaller local islands, but they've never gone all the way to the mainland.
The duo rides into the horizon, eager for whatever may come. Their adventure has only just begun.
…
Elsewhere, on the Mainland:
"I told you we should have killed that human, Maria! Why don't we ever do what I want to do!?"
Maria slams a long metal board down on the ground. Both ends of it are covered in leather restraints.
"So what if he saves the world, Osmond? I'm tired of all these raids."
As she speaks, Maria lays down flat on the board and begins binding herself to it with the leg straps.
Osmond puts his hand on Maria's face, brushing her long golden locks away. "Aww, what do you mean? You used to love these raids. It's our tradition!
Maria raises her arms above her head so Osmond can restrain them.
"It's just…the bondage, the screaming. It's all so routine. Why don't you ever tie me up on a normal night? Why's it only raid night this, raid night that…"
Osmond looks into Maria's eyes, his heart aflutter. "My love, if you'd only have said something sooner. I'll hang you from the rafters the second these impudent humans are dealt with."
Osmond slams his foot on a switch and the metal board goes shooting upwards. It lurches into place and Maria is now suspended above the castle wall.
"It's the Princess! He's got her strung up!"
Osmond rolls his eyes as he gets his staff ready. "Are they gonna say the line, you think?" he drawls to Maria.
"Shit, I'd be offended if they didn't," Maria laughs back.
"She's the last human woman alive! Don't let her die!"
"Ah, there it is!" Osmond chuckles dementedly.
Maria smiles and shouts back. She loves her part in the role play. "Yes! Please my royal subjects, come save me! I'll do whatever you wish if you could only save me from this evil, evil, hot, smoldering, sex-crazed demon!"
"I'm smoldering now, eh?"
The humans chant for their princess. They raise the banners - all six of them. All that remains of the former human empire's military. Six men, and a desire to rebuild the kingdom, one child at a time.
"Maria, I think these are the only six humans left. I think I'll kill just one of them this time. Five should guarantee us one more raid, I think. And then we can both go wild for the last one."
"Shut up, they're going to see us talking." Maria hisses.
"Help me, oh help! I'm so…fertile! And vulnerable!" Maria screams, overacting the hell out of her part. But these men don't know - or care. To them, she's everything - their princess, their future, their pleasure - if only she were slightly less out of reach…
Osmond twists his arms back and a pair of large black wings erupt from his shoulders. He uses them to take flight.
His entire body is covered in pale skin and angular lines. Each of the lines begins to glow a deep purple color as he channels dark power through himself and through his staff.
He shoots several beams out of his staff, each one grabbing one of the humans like a magical arm and smashing them around. He uses the magic to throw them, beat them, smash them into the ground, and chuck one into the moat surrounding the castle. And finally, he grabs one and drags the human toward him.
He places his hand on the human's head and lets dark energy flow through him. The same darkness that caused the apocalypse in the first place.
The human is transfigured. His skin melts away and all that is left is a very animated skeleton.
The remaining humans scatter, defeated and bruised. But they'll be back.
Osmond makes a move to untie Maria, but she stops him.
"Just a little longer. Also, that human. The boy, adrift at sea. You don't really think he'll be able to stop the apocalypse, do you?"
Osmond grit his teeth. "Reports say he left the island this afternoon. My money is on the monsters eating his brains. But if he somehow survives, he'll be coming here first."
Maria moans loudly into the air, taking a load off. "A boy with the Secret Art of Rebirth. Should be fun…"
"Alright. I guess you can untie me now."