I woke up around 7 AM and realized I had drooled all over the pillow. That was an indicator that I had been in a deep sleep for over 11 hours. I got up and went into the bathroom to shower and get dressed because I was starving. Once cleaned and dressed, I turned my phone on and saw a text from my brother that said breakfast at 8. I looked at the time, and I had 25 minutes before I needed to return to the main house.
I started unloading the suitcases I had brought on the flight. I emptied them all and headed to the main house.
Once I walk into the house, I hear, "My sweet Mia is home, and she is too skinny; I will have her fatten up for her baby."
I walk over and hug Maria very tight. She has worked for my family for over 25 years. My parents hired her to be my nanny, and once I was older, she became the housekeeper/chef for the family after I passed the age of needing a nanny. She has no family, so she has been a part of our family forever. My brothers had tried to get her to retire, but she told them she would die from boredom and wanted to see all the kids grow up.
Everyone sat around the table, eating and discussing their plans for the day. My brother asked if I would attend church with all the family this morning, and I said, "I'm not ready for that yet, but I will soon."
That seemed to be enough for now about attending church. I was raised in a Catholic church my whole life, but I've not stepped inside one since I was attacked. Somewhere in my subconscious, I don't understand how God let me be struck and not guide me through my healing. I know I should not blame God, but I must blame somebody.
We finish breakfast, and everyone says goodbye before heading out to church. Once everyone is gone, I go outside and walk down to the barn to see the animals, especially my stallion. I stroll down to the barn, take my time, and enjoy the quietness of the country.
Once inside the barn, I head to the stall that houses Midnight, my stallion; before I get there, I grab an apple. I know the apple will have to buy me some forgiveness for being gone so long. I stand at the door and call for Midnight, and he stands there looking at me and then turns away.
I can feel the tears; my sweet Midnight is mad at me. So I slide the apple under the door and down to the floor to wait for him. I sit there in silence for about five minutes, then I hear him move towards the door, and then I hear the apple being bitten.
After a minute, I put my hand under the door and saw if he would come to me. I wait, and finally, I feel his muzzle on my hand. I sit quietly and don't move. After a few minutes, I stood and saw if he would come closer for me to pet. No such luck, but I know I will have to build his trust again, but at least he knows I'm here.
I return to the guest house to relax and plan my next moves. I started writing things down, and I realized that priority number 10 on my list is to make myself happy and healthy. I know now that I need to start seeing a therapist to work through the remaining issues that I have from the attack, Jeremy, and finally, Max and our baby.
The rest of Sunday was spent relaxing and preparing for my first day at work on Monday. When Monday rolls around, I'm ready for it.
The day goes by in a blink from all the paperwork and meeting the staff at the hospital. The hospital has a great facility, and I'm excited to work with children. I get home, say hello to everyone in the house, and then head out to my place.
The rest of the week is spent the same way: work, family, and bed. I don't know if this job is more complex or if being pregnant makes it more complicated, but all I know is that I'm exhausted by Saturday.
I had asked my brothers during the week if they would go with me to buy a car because I had been driving my niece's car while she was off at college. The three of us spent the day looking at all types of cars and SUVs.
I have not had a car in over five years, so I was excited to have my vehicle again. I decided on a 2024 Cadillac XT4 SUV; it was sleek with all the bells and whistles a person could want. Plus, it would be a great mom's car when the baby comes. After purchasing the SUV, we went out for dinner at Texas Roadhouse. I was salivating, thinking about the bread.
We ordered and started talking about today and what's been happening in each other's lives this week. Once the food arrived, the talking was minimal. Once we finish eating, we head out to the parking lot. Both brothers offered to ride with me, but I said I was good at riding alone because I wanted to stop at the grocery store and pick up a few items. We said our goodbyes, and I thanked them for their help today.
I went to Whole Foods to pick up some food for the week. As I browsed the aisle, I finally felt at ease and happy for the first time in a long time. Being home for the past week with my family, having a job that I genuinely love, and having a sense of safety made me feel almost whole.
My days turned into weeks, and before I knew it, I was six months pregnant and enjoying life. My family and I have a Sunday routine, and I love it. We eat breakfast together, attend church, go home for lunch, and watch football.
This Sunday, we watched the early game between the LA Razors and the Kansas Tornados. This is the first time I've watched any game this season with Jeremy and Max playing. I sit quietly and watch.
When the camera pans to the sideline, I see Max; he looks different but is the same. I catch myself breathing harder and see my family staring at me to see my reaction. I needed a moment to get my heartbeat under control, so I hopped up and headed to the bathroom.
Once in the bathroom, I sit on the toilet and place my head in my hands. I had no idea seeing a quick flash of him would affect me so badly.
After a few minutes, I flushed, washed my hands, and headed back to the living room. I said, "Anything happened while I was in the bathroom?" I received multiple no replies.
The game passes quickly. We are in quarter 4 with less than 2 minutes left, and the Razors are headed by 3. The Razor defense must stop the tornado drive. In the next play, I see Max rushing the quarterback for the sack, and as he stands, the other team hits him from the front and back.
A hush comes over the room as we watch Max fall to the ground with ease. The medical team, head coach, and Jeremy run onto the field. I sit in the chair, holding my breath, waiting to see some sign of movement.
The next thing you see is Max being lifted onto the stretcher and placed into the back of the ATV, and they head off for the locker room. I know the process going on because I've been present multiple times when I was an intern and witnessed the process.
However, I've never had anyone I love leave the game on a stretcher. I look at my family and say I will return to my place and check in later.
I barely make it inside the guest house before tears flow. I sit on the sofa and turn the TV on in case of an update. I place my hand on my stomach and say, "Baby, your daddy will be okay. I promise once he is better, I will tell him about you."
Time passes slowly while I check the internet for updates, but nothing comes up. The emotions of the day win out, and I fall asleep.
My ringing phone wakes me. I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Jeremy. I quickly answered the phone and said, "How is he?"
And Jeremy sobbed. "We need you, Mia; please come to LA."
I didn't need time to think before saying, "I will book a flight immediately."
Jeremy says, "I know it will take you a day or so to get here, but please hurry."
I interrupt him and say, "I'm back home living in Oklahoma, so it will take me about four hours to fly to you."
He says, "You moved back to the US and didn't say anything."
I calmly said, "We've not spoken to each other in over six months, so no, I didn't say anything, but we can talk about it once we help Max."
I told him I would make my plans and text him the details once they were made. I called my brother Jessie, filled him in on the details, and asked if he could help find me a flight to LA.
He told me he would call the pilot and arrange for the family jet to take me to LA. I tell him, "Thank you, and I will pay for the fuel and the crew time myself,"
He says, "We will figure it out later; you go help your Baby daddy."
The first thing I did was call the chief of surgery, let her know that I needed a few days off, and explain what happened. She was very understanding and told me to take a week and let her know if I needed longer.
Next, I packed my suitcase for the trip. When I was done, my brother had the details, and I was flying out in one hour. I texted Jeremy the information, and he said he would pick me up.
The following hour passed in a blur of goodbyes and boarding the jet. Once I sat down, I realized that I had not been on this jet since the day I flew to Italy. I sat in my seat, looked out the window, and fell asleep.
One of the good things about being pregnant is that I can sleep anywhere and pretty much anytime. I feel a little nudge on my arm, and I see the flight attendant. She says, "We are about to land; could I please buckle up and get ready to land?"
Once I heard her announcement, I felt my emotions were out of control. I'm worried about how Jeremy will react once he sees me pregnant. I'm scared because I can't handle him being more disappointed in me than he is.
I feel the plane touch the runway and taxi to the gate. I sit there, momentarily trying to steady my nerves and get the courage to walk off this plane. The flight attendant tells me my bag has been placed at the bottom of the ramp.
I stood, placed one foot in front of the other, and descended the ramp. I took my suitcase and walked to the lobby of the private airport. I started scanning for Jeremy, but I hadn't seen him yet.
I took out my phone and texted that I was in the lobby. He replied that he was just pulling up. I told him I would come outside. I walked out the door, looked at the loading zone, and saw Jeremy's truck.
I take a deep breath and walk towards him. He hops out of the car, walks to the passenger side, opens the door, and turns to look at me. He looks stunned and stares at my stomach for a few moments.
I say, "I'm sorry, and I have a lot of explaining to do, but we need to get to the hospital."
Jeremy looks at my face and says, "Am I going to be an Uncle?"
And I say, "Yes." He grabs the suitcase, places it in the back seat, and grabs my arm to assist me in getting up into his tall truck.
Once we are both in the truck, he takes off. The car's atmosphere is very thick in the truck, and neither of us spoke for about 10 minutes; he said, "How long have you been in Oklahoma, and would you ever tell us about the baby."
I breathe and start talking. I tell him I've been back for five months. I talk about my work at the children's hospital and living in the guest house at my brother Jessie's home.
I continued speaking about my decision to keep everything a secret. I told him that if Max knew about the baby, he would want to be in the baby's life and maybe even mine. It would cause too many problems in their relationship, and I would not do that to them.
It seems he is thinking about what I said, and the next thing I know, we are pulling into a gas station parking lot, and he kills the truck.
Jeremy says, "Not speaking with you has been the worst thing ever. I was so sad and ashamed of the things I said to you that night that I could not call."
He continued and told me he had picked up the phone to call more times than he wanted to admit.
He says, "I didn't think you and Max would be a bad couple; I just thought you would never move back to the United States and you both would end up heartbroken."
I looked at him and said, "You should have been honest with your reasons. If you had told me your real concerns, then I would have told you I wanted to move back and work on having a relationship with Max."
By this time, we were both crying, and he looked up at me and said, "I will make this up to you, and I can't wait to be an uncle." With this declaration, he started the truck and returned to the freeway.
We spent the next 25 minutes catching up on the last six months. When we pulled into the hospital's parking lot, I asked, "Does he know I'm coming?"
Jeremy said, "We told him a specialist was coming to look at his injuries."
We head to the lobby and start towards the sixth floor; Jeremy must feel my anxiety because he grabs my hand for support. We finally get to his room, and Jeremy enters first.
Once we enter the room, four pairs of eyes are turned to me, and I hear, "Everyone get out NOW except for Mia." Jeremy tense up, but I reassure him I will be fine and watch everyone leave the room.