In a quiet room, with numerous empty tables and chairs, he sat calmly and serenely at the furthest table. He waited patiently for his classmates to arrive for the course, longing to discover who would be the ones to talk to him that day.
Or perhaps, fearing that, as on so many other occasions, he would have to face loneliness, looking for some form of entertainment to hide the emptiness that consumed his heart. That loneliness dragged him deeper and deeper into the darkness of his desolate mind full of impure thoughts.
Leon gave a slight sigh.
Leon —Maybe today isn't my lucky day either...
It was then, at that moment, that he opened his backpack to look for a small book, one that he had read when he was younger. It was the only one he physically owned; therefore, he took care of it like an unmatched treasure. He only carried it with him so he could read it again, hoping to find a new meaning and understand things that, when he was young and innocent, he didn't understand.
He began to read it, and after a few minutes, he was a quarter of the way through the book. It was then that he felt the door to his classroom open. He looked up from his book, stopping his reading to look towards the entrance. He observed, calmly and without many expressions, who it was that entered.
She noticed who was coming in, following the same routine as always: first those in the left row, then the annoying ones in the middle row, and finally, those in the right row. However, the places were different. People who shouldn't be near me were going to sit on the nearby benches because my closest friends were nearby. In front of me were Rosario and Luna; to my right, Pato and Julián with their group of friends; and to my left, Zafiro.
Zafiro was a little girl with long hair, who I thought looked cute and sweet. But in her eyes I could see the loneliness and fear of not having anyone with her, reflected in her actions and her erratic behavior, mostly fostered by her attempts to always be funny so as not to be forgotten or ignored by those close to her.
Rosario, on the other hand, was distinguished by her attitude. She had never had to try very hard to get something, since she believed that everything was solved with money. Until someone proved her wrong, she would continue to be like this, and that would be difficult, since she was not at all submissive. On the contrary, her attitude was quite dominant and, perhaps, she could even break your face with a punch, which I loved and enjoyed. Despite her mistreatment, I was amused that she believed she had control over me, when in reality, I had complete control over what she did, letting myself be carried away by her annoying taunts and sarcastic comments.
Luna was very naive. She believed everything she was told and did not look around her much. Her world revolved around what she thought she saw in others. She had a very strong and determined personality, which made it impossible to change her mind about something or someone. Maybe she knew it, maybe she didn't, but that was her nature. It was impossible to make her understand things as they were due to her attitude and firm belief that she was better than anyone else. Although it was not completely false, it did not mean that she was perfect, she was still very naive. When I tried to help her not trust anyone, she was guided by what other people said. Because of my protective and fearful personality, when I tried to take care of her, she thought I just wanted to be close to her so she could be my girlfriend, and now we don't even talk. The only thing that bothered me about her was that attitude of not letting me touch her, as if I were shit, which forced me to constantly control myself so I wouldn't break her arm or get angry and insult her.
Pato was someone reliable, somewhat silly but kind and protective. He could speak openly and had many qualities that made him a good leader and spokesperson, as he maintained a pleasant and calm environment with his peers.
Julian was almost the same, but more reserved, silent and liked to make jokes, being quite funny.
But still, even though I know all that and that every day I have spent smiling and being well, that inner voice wants to come out. A voice that screams to be let out, to stop faking a stupid smile and just show what it really is. Let it explode and put everyone in their place, leaving its dominance marked.
That voice begs me and asks me to give it my place to prove that it can change everything and do better than me. But I have always suppressed that voice with music. However, today music is not enough. The loneliness I am in only makes me feel even more drowned in a dark sea, feeling empty.
I have them so close, they are around me, I hear them whisper, I see them talking badly about me from time to time. They laugh and have relationships with other people, they are free and do not deny themselves anything. But I simply put up with it all and just observe without showing desire or intention for anything. Still, for some reason, I felt that I could not continue pretending forever.
Leon, at that moment, simply tilted his head to the left in a discreet manner and then raised his gaze as he leaned his seat against a wall, gently letting his arm fall, almost allowing his fingers to touch the floor, while he placed his other hand on his face, covering his gaze.
Leon —I won't be able to bear this... much longer... I must de-stress...
It was at that moment that a voice brought him out of his reverie. It was the voice of an acquaintance who, for him, could be considered a friend. He was one of the few who spoke to him without the intention of mocking him or making him feel miserable.
—Hey, stop ignoring me, I'm talking to you —said the voice.
Leon took his hand away from his face and looked ahead. There was his friend Benjamin, standing there smiling at him. Even though they were in the same class, Benjamin was on the phone with his girlfriend. It was strange that she was texting him even when he was just a few inches away. Even though that dynamic seemed odd to him, it wasn't his place to criticize the way Benjamin related to his partner. He decided to just respond kindly.
"Leon --I wasn't ignoring you, I was just busy organizing my thoughts. Sorry about that."
Leon and Benjamin chatted for a good while as the hours passed in that tedious class. Since the professor who was supposed to teach for the last two hours didn't show up, they were on their free time. It was only when Leon checked his phone to check the time that he realized how much time he had spent deep in thought, not having noticed that the hours had flown by. With a sigh, he decided to relax and use that moment to laugh and enjoy with his friend Benjamin. They told some jokes and nonsense, alleviating the boredom they both felt.
Benjamin: —Hey, you know what? The other day I asked my therapist if I would ever be cured of my dark sense of humor. And he said, "Only if you become funnier, then at least dying will be entertaining."
Leon: —Hahaha, nice try, but the other day I asked my psychologist if I was ever going to stop feeling like a failure. And he said, "No, but you could at least try to be a stylish failure."
They laughed together for a good while, finding dark humor a way to alleviate the monotony of the day.
Finally, the dismissal bell rang, and Leon said goodbye to his friend to gather his things and put them in his backpack. He stood up from his seat, ready to leave the class, when he bumped into Luna. She frowned, clearly upset.
Luna: —Ugh, you touched me! How disgusting. With your mere presence, you already make me sick.
Leon, without saying a word, just smiled at her and walked away from the class. He went out with his classmates, and after lining up in the school yard, he decided not to say goodbye to anyone else. Once on the street, instead of returning home, he opted to take a walk. He reached the small forest at the end of the neighborhood and, as he entered, he met the classmates who were in front of him in his class. When they saw him, they began to bother him.
Classmate 1: —Look who arrived! The king of indifference. How is the solitary walk? Did you have fun ignoring us?
Classmate 2: —Hey, what are you doing here? Did you come to avoid your problems or just to be bothered more?
Classmate 3: —Come on, don't be like that. If you want, you can join us. It's always good to have someone who can be the joke in our conversation.
After hearing the words of the three individuals, the only one that really bothered Leon was the last one. Still smiling, he looked him straight in the eyes. The intensity of his cold and penetrating gaze made Partner 3 feel uncomfortable, until, finally, he began to slowly move away from him.
Partner 3: —Hey, look, I was just joking. Don't be like that, okay? It's not that big of a deal.
Leon didn't respond immediately. He approached Partner 3 until he cornered him against a tree. He raised his hand slightly, which made the other tense up, preparing to receive a blow. However, Leon only placed his hand on his shoulder and continued to stare at him, with a palpable coldness in his tone of voice.
Leon: —I'll tell you just once: say that I'm a joke again, and I swear to God that, when I'm done with you, not even your mother will recognize you. Is that clear?
Leon tilted his head slightly, offering a smile that combined kindness and coldness. He then removed his hand from Partner 3's shoulder and, without another word, continued on his way through the darkness of the forest.
When Leon reached the deepest part of the small forest, he found a small grave with the name "Shadow" engraved on it. He sat down beside the grave in an abrupt manner, then settled down on the ground and looked at the starry sky with unusual calm.
Leon: "I kept you waiting too long, huh, Shadow?"
Although he was talking to himself, he was not really alone. From the grave emerged a dark figure, almost identical to him, a clone of him in appearance, but different in every mental and personal aspect. The figure smiled as he addressed Leon.
Shadow: —It's been a long time, old friend. Why have you returned? Tell me.
Leon looked at him coldly, without saying a word. The place fell into a heavy silence as Leon's icy gaze remained fixed on Shadow's mocking smile. Finally, Leon looked up at the sky again and spoke in a resolute tone.
Leon: —I lost. I accept your request. Take control and do what I couldn't. No one will notice anyway.
Shadow: —Your wish will be granted, old friend. Hahahaha!
In the houses of Leon's companions, an unusual coldness was present. Those who were still awake noticed something strange in the environment. Pato, Benjamin and Rosario perceived that something that should not be released had been released. However, Pato thought it was just his imagination, Benjamin did not understand what he was feeling, and Rosario knew that someone had left her body. She was afraid to find out who that person was and even more afraid of what would come next.