The shipping yard was eerily quiet. Dim lights flickered, casting long shadows over the stacked metal containers. Spidey crouched on a ledge above, his lenses narrowing.
["Four brutes outside. Wrecking Crew. Armed and waiting."] AXIS' voice chimed in his earpiece.
Spider-Man tilted his head. "Armed? AXIS, they've got crowbars, chains, a wrecking ball and a few automatic rifles. For me, that's not 'armed.' That's a medieval construction crew with an attitude problem."
["Analysis: Engage with caution. Maintain comedic commentary to reduce stress."]
"Good call, AXIS. Gotta keep the vibe light."
He dropped down silently, landing behind the Wrecking Crew. They were gathered near a container, laughing loudly.
"Man, how come we're always doin' grunt work?" Bulldozer grumbled.
"Because we're dumb, that's why." Thunderball answered.
"Hey, hey, no need for self-awareness this late at night!" Spider-Man quipped, making them spin around. "You guys should unionize. Maybe ask for better benefits? Less wrecking, more vacation days?"
The Wrecking Crew wasn't exactly known for their intelligence, but they made up for it with raw power. Too bad they were up against Spider-Man.
The Wrecker, a large man with a crowbar that looked like it could smash a truck, turned with a scowl. "You think this is funny, bug?"
Spidey dropped down dramatically, hands on his hips. "Oh, absolutely. You guys call yourselves the Wrecking Crew, but I gotta say, I expected a bit more wrecking. Maybe some synchronized destruction? A little choreography?"
Piledriver cracked his knuckles. "Let's crush him."
Spider-Sense Tingling!
Spider-Man backflipped just as Thunderball swung his wrecking ball, missing him by inches.
"Alright, muscleheads, let's do this quick. I've got a dinner reservation, and I'd hate to keep my imaginary date waiting."
["Incoming attack from 11 o'clock. Dodge left."]
"Thanks, AXIS, but I think I got this," Spidey quipped, landing lightly on a container.
Wrecker lunged, swinging his crowbar in a wide arc. Spidey ducked, then shot a web, yanking the crowbar mid-swing. Wrecker spun like a ballerina before face-planting into a stack of crates.
"Oof, you okay? That spin was impressive. Ever thought about joining a dance competition?"
Thunderball charged, but Spidey sidestepped, letting the big guy crash into a wall. The ball he carried slipped from his grasp, rolling away harmlessly.
"Guys, I swear, this is embarrassing. I almost feel bad for you."
Bulldozer roared, lowering his head and rushing like an angry bull.
Spidey sighed. "Okay, this one's on me for standing in front of you."
At the last second, he flipped over him. Bulldozer couldn't stop, smashing through a metal container and getting his helmet stuck inside.
Piledriver lunged, throwing a punch, fist the size of a watermelon. Spider-Man sidestepped, stuck out his leg, and tripped him. Piledriver faceplanted into a puddle.
"Whew! Be careful, man. You almost punched the air outta existence!" Spidey webbed his wrist and yanked. The force sent Piledriver spinning into Thunderball, and both crashed into the floor in a heap.
Wrecker, still dizzy, groaned. "This ain't right..."
Spidey landed on top of a container, dusting off his hands. "Right... Wrong... It's all about perspective, really. But since you guys tried to sell kids, I'm gonna go with 'wrong' on this one."
["Threat neutralized. 32 seconds. New personal best."]
"AXIS, next time, let's go for under 30."
With swift movements, he webbed them all up, hanging them from the rafters like Christmas decorations.
"Alright, time to get these kids outta here."
He turned toward the nearest container, heart pounding.
Spider-Sense SCREAMING!
Without hesitation, Spidey leapt back as a glowing fist smashed through the air where he had stood. The force sent shockwaves through the ground.
"Whoa! If I didn't know any better, I'd say that was an Iron Fist!"
Standing before him with energy dissipating from the clenched fists, was Danny Rand. His eyes burned with fury.
"Stay away from those containers!" Danny growled.
Spidey raised his hands. "Wow, okay. No 'hello'? No 'thanks for handling those guys'? That's rude."
Danny rushed forward again. Spider-Man dodged, rolling under a high kick. "Look, I know you're new in town, but hitting first and asking later? Not very hero-like."
Danny lunged again. Spidey dodged, flipping away with ease.
From the shadows, a voice yelled, "Danny, stop. That's-!"
Colleen Wing ran forward, sword in hand, but Danny ignored her, striking with a fast palm strike. Spider-Man did another flip, landing behind him.
"Kidnappers don't get to talk!" he snarled.
Spidey sighed. "Okay, first off, rude. Second, you've been gone for a while, huh? Like, long enough to miss my big Broadway debut as the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man?"
Danny didn't answer. He just attacked again.
Spidey weaved between the punches, dodging with playful ease.
"Okay, gotta say, you move well. But you know what you lack? INNER PEACE!"
Danny frowned. "What?"
Spidey grinned. "Once you realize the problem is not me, but within you, you'll find inner peace and will be able to harness the flow of the universe."
The verb attack was super effective! Danny couldn't help but ask again "What?!".
"Inner peace. Y'know, balance, patience, finding harmony with the universe... Basically everything I've learnt from the kung-fu panda
..."
Colleen, watching the ridiculous scene, sighed. "Danny, listen.."
But she was already rushing in, sword slashing toward Spidey.
Spidey leapt over her, twisting mid-air. "Wow, both of you are angry! Did someone mess up your order at the noodle shop?"
She slashed again, but Spider-Man caught the blade with his fingers with a lazy attitude, twisting it from her grip. " Sasuke, you need to add chidori to your blade."
She gasped, stepping back. "Danny, he's not our enemy!"
Danny scowled, rushing in again. "Then why is he fighting back?"
Spider-Man shrugged. "Because it's funny."
Danny snarled, sending a flurry of rapid punches. Spider-Man redirected the punches. "Skadoosh." He flicked Danny's forehead mid-strike.
Danny staggered back, blinking. "What was that?"
"A lesson in humility. Courtesy of Master Spidey."
Danny groaned but recovered quickly, fists glowing brighter. "Enough games."
His next punch crackled with raw qi energy. Spidey saw it coming, his own qi flaring instinctively.
Spider-Senses SCREAMING LOUDER!
The punch came fast, but Spidey met it with his own strike, channeling his energy the way he had learned through meditation and practice. Their fists collided.
A shockwave erupted. Danny was sent flying back, crashing into a shipping container.
Colleen gasped, running to him. "Danny!"
Danny groaned, rubbing his head. "H.. how did you... ?"
Spider-Man planted his foot firmly, shifting his weight smoothly as he moved in a slow, flowing motion. His hands traced a Taichi-style yin-yang symbol in the air, fingers guiding the movement with precise control. His legs shifted in perfect balance, mirroring the circular flow, as if he were grounding himself in the energy of the moment.
"I am the Dragon Warrior," he declared dramatically. With a playful smile he continued, "But you can call me the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man."
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