Kazuya trudged back to town, holding his freshly gathered medicinal herbs. Despite his earlier failures in the forest, he couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. Sure, he'd stumbled through the bushes, tripped over every root, and almost stepped on a snake—but in the end, he had the herbs. And that meant money.
He could already imagine the sweet, savory taste of his instant ramen. That alone made this whole mess worth it.
The system's annoying voice chimed in as he approached the town square.
[System: "I can't believe you actually managed to gather those herbs. I didn't think you had it in you."]
Kazuya rolled his eyes. "Oh, thanks for the vote of confidence, System. I'll remember that when I'm eating my ramen." He wasn't sure if the system could hear the sarcasm, but he didn't really care.
---
The Problem: The First Quest Fail
When Kazuya reached the quest board to turn in his herbs, he noticed a small crowd had gathered around another job posting. It was one of those "defeat a wild beast in the forest" quests that seemed to be a rite of passage for adventurers. The job description was simple enough—"Defeat the Forest Boar and return with proof."
"Forest Boar? This doesn't sound too bad," Kazuya muttered to himself, staring at the quest board.
He glanced at his inventory: Instant Ramen x1 and Herbs x5. He had no weapons, no armor, and definitely no experience fighting a boar. But the prospect of money—and more purchases in his system—was too tempting to resist.
"I've got this! How hard can it be?" Kazuya said confidently, grabbing the quest slip and marching towards the forest.
---
The Comedic Scene: Not-So-Prepared
The forest was dense, the trees towering above him like ancient guardians. Kazuya was still unsure about how to handle his first fight, but the thought of earning more money kept him going. He didn't even notice that the system had been giving him advice—mostly passive-aggressively.
[System: "You are not ready for this. I recommend purchasing a sword. Or at least a stick."]
"I don't need a sword! I'm sure I can handle a boar with my... uh... wits," Kazuya replied, pretending he knew what he was doing.
He ventured deeper into the woods, and after what felt like an eternity of walking, he finally spotted it. The Forest Boar—a hulking, wild creature, snuffling around near a berry bush. It was massive, with sharp tusks and wild eyes. It looked like it could take him down in one charge.
Kazuya froze. "Oh. Oh no."
---
The Tease: The System's Judgment
Just as the boar turned its gaze toward him, the system's voice echoed in his mind, sounding almost smug.
[System: "Told you. You should've bought a sword. Or at least a really big stick."]
Kazuya could practically feel the system's snarky grin through the voice. "Shut up, I got this!" he muttered, backing away slowly from the boar.
The boar grunted, pawing at the ground. Kazuya took another step back—and promptly tripped over a root, falling face-first into the dirt. The boar charged.
"Crap!" Kazuya yelped, rolling out of the way just in time. The boar's tusks scraped the ground where his head had been. His heart raced, and he scrambled to his feet.
[System: "You're lucky the boar is as dumb as you are. You should just go home and buy some armor."]
Kazuya wasn't sure whether to be angry or impressed by the system's brutal honesty.
The boar, apparently offended by Kazuya's existence, charged again. This time, Kazuya made a desperate leap to the side, but the boar's tusks grazed his arm, leaving a shallow but painful gash.
"OW!" Kazuya shouted, clutching his arm. The boar didn't seem to care; it was just getting angrier.
[System: "You really should've bought something to defend yourself. I can't even watch this. You're embarrassing both of us."]
Kazuya gritted his teeth. "I get it, I get it! But I can't afford anything!"
In a moment of panic, Kazuya flung his Instant Ramen package at the boar. It hit the creature square in the face.
The boar stopped mid-charge, sniffing the package curiously. Kazuya blinked in disbelief. "Did that actually work?"
The boar sniffed the ramen again, then turned away, seemingly uninterested in Kazuya as it began to paw at the package. It nosed the ramen open and started munching on the noodles.
[System: "Are you kidding me? You used ramen as bait? Unbelievable."]
Kazuya stared at the scene. "I… I'm not sure whether to be impressed or disgusted."
---
The Comedic Solution: A Hero's Exit
Kazuya took the opportunity to back away slowly, keeping his eyes on the distracted boar as it devoured his ramen. He didn't even feel bad—he had saved his life, after all.
As he retreated, he saw a group of adventurers approaching. One of them—a burly man with an axe—narrowed his eyes at Kazuya.
"What are you doing here, kid? You're lucky that boar's distracted by food. Don't tell me you were actually planning to fight it."
Kazuya rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Uh, yeah. I totally had it under control."
The man raised an eyebrow. "Sure you did. Get out of here before you get yourself killed. We'll take care of the boar."
Kazuya didn't need to be told twice. He turned and dashed for the safety of the town, leaving the adventurers to deal with the boar.
---
Ending the Chapter:
Back in the town, Kazuya looked at his now-empty ramen packet and sighed. "Well, I guess I got a story out of it, at least."
[System: "You're lucky you didn't die. Maybe next time, you'll listen to me."]
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Kazuya grumbled. "I'll be sure to buy a sword next time—if I can figure out how to make money."
The system gave a passive-aggressive hum.
[System: "You can always get a job. But you're probably too lazy for that."]
Kazuya laughed. "I'm sure I'll find a way. I always do."
And with that, Kazuya walked off to his next (hopefully safer) adventure.
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End of Chapter 2.