The entire world is rotten.
Or with a pun, I can say the entire world is roof-tten.
Why's the pun like this? Because I am a dog.
Can you imagine? I was the son of a Yakuza gang leader. I had oceans moving with just my orders. Now the only thing moving for me is my master's hand while I am pooping.
I poop a lot.
I po— ahh it came out.
Poops.
My life is now full of crap, quite literally. Always having to give company to this "Master" of mine. He's good, though, always feeding me whenever I want. But he never gave me the one thing I desire so badly. And no, it's not love.
It's sex.
Sure, my master took me for mating sessions multiple times. But for some reason, I don't get aroused seeing a "bitch".
My memories from my previous life remain intact, which means I'm only attracted to…
Humans.
When I open up about this to the boss of the neighborhood dog committee, his peeing on the pole aka POP—stops midstream.
He is flabbergasted, or to be precise flabbergrr-asted.
That's what he always sounds like. Grr…. Grrr….. Always angry.
Let me introduce him properly. He's the self-proclaimed dog leader. So many dogs follow him and his ideals.
His goal? To kill a human someday.
That took a dark turn, right?
He is a bit of racist towards humans. But hey, every dog needs a hobby.
He was always trying to recruit me to his "team" . But the moment he finds out I was a human in my previous life and wanted to get intimate with a human, he spits in my face and growled,
"You grr… will never know peace."
I am flabbergrrr—asted.
So I start "popping". POP-ing. Pooping on the pole.
That's when it happens.
I see my private parts disappearing. I was flab—
"Shut the fuck up with your narration! We are in trouble."
I turn to the dog leader. His paws are disappearing too. I look around at the other dogs, but it isn't happening to them.
Slowly, my paws, legs…everything start to fade. My head too. And before I vanish completely, the last thing I see is the one absurd constant in my life.
It's poop.
I do poop a lot.
******
I am teleported.
The world I arrive in is blindingly bright. Everything seems impossibly big and vivid. I look down at my hands—hands, not paws—and… I am flabbergrr—
Wait, what the fuck?
I am in a human body. No, not entirely human.
My limbs are human-shaped, but patches of fur sprout from my arms and legs. I am wearing an oversized green robe that drapes awkwardly over my strange new form.
The room around me resembles a hospital. The faint hum of machinery buzzes in the background. People are rushing back and forth.
I get up from the bed and slowly start to move. After I get out of my cabin, I end up in a huge room and I see something I couldn't believe.
There are so many people like me.. Confused, and dressed in the same green robes. Some have cat-like tails, others have giraffe necks or bird wings. It is a chaotic circus of hybrid creatures.
Only one thing is common among us, everyone is walking upright on two legs.
"Oi, pooper pro."
The voice comes from behind. I turn to see the dog leader. His face is burning with anger, his fur patchier than mine.
He grabs me by the neck. "What the fuck is this place? And why am I in this disgusting body?"
His grip is tight, making it hard to breathe. I manage to croak, "I don't know either."
But he isn't listening. "These are your people, right? You were a human, and these freaks look like you. So you must know what's going on! Spill it or die!"
Before I can answer, a loud chime echos through the room. A glowing screen materializes in front of my face, projecting blue light. The words on it read:
"Welcome, Hero, to the world you belong to."
An animated avatar of a girl appears on the screen. She has a cheerful smile. Beneath her, a button flashes: START
I glance around and see everyone else staring at their own invisible screens. It isn't just me.
"What is this?" I mutter.
The avatar's mouth moves as it spoke. "Hello, Hero. I am Hori, your assistant."
"Assistant for what?"
"For your new role as a Hero in the great war of Korentora."
I frown, "What the hell is Korentora?"
"Our motherland," Hori replies with a bright smile. "We exist in a separate dimension from your previous world. Korentora is at war with the neighboring country, Adrinof. To gain an advantage, we summoned your spirits here."
"Summoned? Why?"
"To help us win, of course."
"And if someone refuses?"
Hori's smile falters. Her voice turns cold. "Refusal is not an option. A chip inside your body ensures compliance. You cannot return to your world. And if you fail to reach Level 5 within a month, you will be purged from existence."
"Levels? What is this, a video game?"
Hori tilts her head. "I do not understand the term 'video game'. Please clarify."
I sigh. "Never mind. What do I do now?"
"Click START," she says, her cheerful tone returning.
That button pulses, waiting for me to make a choice. Behind me, the dog leader is growling low in his throat, his frustration simmering.
I don't know what lay ahead, but Fuck it.. I press the button.
A bright flash envelops me. Hori's voice chimes again. "Smile! We're taking a scan."
I force a grin, and the screen captures my image.
"What's this scan for, anyway?" I ask, still squinting at the glowing screen.
Hori responds, "The scan identifies your battlefield role. There are various professions—Gladiator, Craftsman, Beast Controller, and etcetera etcetera."
I wait, watching the screen process. Finally, a message pops up:
"Congratulations, you are one of the etceteras. A weapon master."
Dang… I thought it'd be grand.
Pretty nonchalant for such a huge reveal. I do like weapons, though.
As the heir of a Yakuza clan, I was always packing heat. Guns under my belt, knives in my sleeves. Only if I'd used them right… ahh, whatever.
"Hori."
Hori looks at me with curiosity, "Do you want to know where you can train and level up? We have dungeons and everything."
I feel the wind at my back, pushing me toward adventure. It's urging me to pick up a sword, fight monsters, save the day. But before all that…
"Do you all have a bar in this town? It's been so long since I drank."