The first signs of change weren't drastic, but they were there.
Ethan started spending more time with Cole and Gavin than with me, their laughter more frequent, their secret jokes more mysterious. It didn't hurt that much because Ethan would always meet up with me and my girls after spending time with his friends.
But it still hurt a bit. He started developing an edge to his personality. The playful teasing that used to be filled with warmth now had a sharper edge, a hint of arrogance mixed into the mischief. He started to not listen to me so much. He would do thing just for the sake of doing them. I didn't understand what was happening to him.
One day we were playing at the park when suddenly Ethan decided to climb the tallest tree. I told him to not do it but he didn't listen. It was a very dangerous tree, higher than the one in the summer camp.
"Ethan! Don't do it! You'll fall," I yelled out loud.
"Stop being a chicken Lily-pad! I won't fall! I am the best," he said with arrogance.
"You are so stubborn! You never listen," I said with anger.
"I am fine," he said with a grin
I crossed my arms and waited anxiously. I could feel a lump in my throat. I was scared. I watched in horror as he climbed higher and higher.
He went all the way up to the top while Cole and Gavin were cheering him on. When he tried to go down he slipped. My heart dropped. He fell onto the soft grass.
"ETHAN!" I shouted I rushed to his side as tears came to my eyes. It was not a small fall. I was worried that he would be really hurt.
My two other friends came next to me also scared. Cole and Gavin came to his side laughing, which did not make me any less angry.
"Are you ok?!" I said, grabbing his face with my hands.
"Yes... stop worrying so much. I told you I wouldn't fall. I just got a little dizzy," he said chuckling, which made me even more furious. He was acting like he was a god.
"It's not funny Ethan!" I said with tears still falling from my eyes.
"Ok, Ok, calm down Lily-pad, I am fine, see?" he said with a smile.
I just stood there shaking my head, not knowing what to say. He looked at me with a sad expression. He reached out to hold my hand. It was the first time that our hand holding felt different. There was something different in his fingers.
Something was...missing. I couldn't help but wonder if I was also changing, if I was also growing up. I just wanted to go back to the good days. To when we were just innocent kids.
As we got closer to the end of middle school, our time with my two best friends became less. They were always busy with Ethan, Cole, and Gavin. We barely spent any time playing together. We were also getting older and we started to have different interests. My heart was full of confusion and changes.
Our childhood innocence was slowly fading into the complexities of the adult world. I didn't like it. I missed the good days. I couldn't pin down the exact moment when things started to shift. It was more of a gradual erosion.
Ethan still laughed, he still teased, but the warmth had faded, replaced by an aloofness that I didn't understand. I wanted to scream out loud. I wanted things to go back to the way they were.
The carefree days of scraped knees and stolen stars felt miles away. We were on the cusp of something new, and I couldn't shake the feeling that it could pull us apart. I was scared of the new world.
The adult world.