The more time I spent at the college, the more I felt an overwhelming truth pressing against my chest: I did not belong there. It wasn't a place where I could find solace, and the air itself felt suffocating. Every hallway, every classroom, every conversation seemed like a reminder of my failure to connect. My spirit, already fragile, cracked under the weight of my surroundings.
-One day, I simply stopped going-
The decision came quietly, without drama or ceremony, but its consequences rippled through my life like a stone cast into a still pond. My family's reaction was far from quiet. Their voices rose with frustration, anger, and fear for my future. They couldn't understand how I could walk away from the very institution meant to shape my path forward.
"You have to think about your future!"
"Everyone struggles! You can't just give up!"
Their words echoed endlessly, but none of them could feel the emptiness I carried with me every time I stepped into that place. How could I spend my days in a world where my heart refused to follow?
I withdrew further into myself, sinking into the depths of isolation, family pressure weighing down on me with the force of a thousand expectations. Days blurred into weeks, and weeks into months. Time became a fleeting flash of light—gone before I could grasp it, leaving behind only the heavy shadow of my choices.
-Then came the first examination-
The morning of the exams felt like a reckoning. I hadn't touched a single book since I left the college. The pages of my textbooks lay closed, forgotten in a corner of my room, collecting dust along with my dwindling ambition. Yet, I returned to the college that day, not out of hope, but out of obligation.
I sat in the exam room, papers spread before me like a battlefield. I gripped the pen in my hand, the smooth surface foreign to my fingers. I gave answers—haphazard, disconnected answers, scribbled from a mind half-dreaming and half-remembering. And then, it was over.
When I walked out of that building, I didn't wait to see the results.
-I didn't care-
Time flew again, faster than before, until the second examination loomed on the horizon. This time, my return to college was for a single purpose: to fill out the form that would allow me to take the exams once more.
-But life, as always, had other plans-
When I arrived at the office, I wasn't met with routine. Instead, I was handed the cold, sharp reality of my actions. I had been suspended from the college for lack of attendance. My absence had not gone unnoticed, and my failure to show up had consequences that couldn't be ignored.
I stood before the principal, his eyes a mixture of indifference and disappointment. His judgment came swiftly and without hesitation.
"You don't have the capability to pass," he stated bluntly.
His words settled heavily in the room, the finality of his decision reverberating in my chest.
-I clenched my fists-
-But showed no emotion-
"If I can prove I can pass—if I show you I'm capable—will you allow me to take the exams?" I asked.
I had no doubt in my abilities. Confidence surged in me like a rare spark of defiance.
-But he didn't care-
The principal dismissed my plea without a second glance. His mind was already made up, the door to redemption shut firmly in my face.
-And just like that, I was back-
Back to the same suffocating loneliness, only now the weight was heavier. My failure had been cemented, my defiance crushed beneath the rigid structure of rules and systems that refused to bend for someone like me.
Time would move forward again, as it always does, but I felt myself sinking deeper with every moment that passed.
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