I spent the entire weekend reliving the events that had unfolded. Memories of cheating on Sarah, her heartbreaking breakup, and Charlotte's bold confession swirled in my mind like a relentless storm.
Consequently, the weight of my mistakes felt crushing, making the weekend stretch out like an endless, desolate landscape. Every step, every movement, felt heavy, as if I was trudging through quicksand.
On Monday morning, I decided to skip my lecture, unable to face my classmates. The thought of their judging eyes and whispered conversations made my skin crawl.
I imagined the whispers: "Cedric, the cheater." "Cedric, the liar." The words stung, and I retreated to the safety of my room. Meanwhile, the familiar comforts of my bed, desk, and books enveloped me like a warm hug.
For the rest of the week, I remained in hiding, too embarrassed and lost to attend classes. My room became a refuge, shielding me from the outside world, but also trapping me in a cycle of guilt, regret, and self-doubt.
As the days passed, the shadows on my wall seemed to grow longer and darker, and I struggled to eat or sleep, always tossing in my bed.
In addition to my current struggles, the wounds of my past ripped open, and memories came flooding back. I recalled the taunts, the teasing that had haunted me since childhood.
In my community and at school, I was ridiculed and belittled, treated like an outcast. The words still echoed in my mind: "You're worthless, you don't deserve to be here." I remembered walking through school corridors, my worn-out uniform a constant reminder of my struggles.
Now, as I faced rejection and silence from those I cared about, the pain felt like a fresh blow. None of my friends, not even Sarah, who had promised to remain friends, or Charlotte, who had confessed her love, reached out to me that week.
The silence was deafening, a heavy blanket that suffocated me. My mom, too, only spoke to me when I initiated the call. I felt invisible, a ghost drifting through life unnoticed and unvalued.
However, on Friday evening, I finally snapped out of my trance and decided that I needed to get out, take a walk, and clear my mind. I went to bed with a newfound determination.
Early Saturday morning, I laced up my running shoes and stepped out into the crisp air, wearing my shorts and a tight t-shirt.
As I ran, the physical exertion momentarily distracted me from my emotional turmoil. I ran 5 kilometers, but the emotional pain still lingered, so I pushed myself to go further. Another 5 kilometers later, the physical strain and heartache merged, and I broke down in tears as I ran.
Meanwhile, sweat dripped down my face, masking my tears. As I made my way back to campus, exhaustion and thirst consumed me.
My breathing grew labored, and I regretted pushing myself so hard. A flurry of questions swirled in my mind: Why did my dad abandon me? Why did I feel so invisible, so unnoticeable?
As I turned a corner, I spotted a young woman walking slowly, her breathing ragged. She, too, had been running. I slowed to a stop and walked alongside her.
"Hi," I whispered, my voice barely audible over my heavy breathing.
"Mind sharing your water?" I asked, my thirst and exhaustion momentarily eclipsing my emotional turmoil.
She handed me her water bottle without a word, her chest heaving with exhaustion. Sweat dripped down her face, and her eyes sparkled with fatigue.
I wondered if she, too, was running from her demons. "Thanks a lot," I said, taking a refreshing sip. "You saved me. I don't know if I would've made it."
I locked eyes with her, and we shared a weary smile. "Hi," she said, her voice husky from exertion. "Looks like you pushed yourself hard, just like I did." She extended her hand, and I shook it. "I'm Thando." "Cedric," I replied. "Nice to meet you, Thando."
We fell into step together, walking back to campus in comfortable silence. As we walked, the warm sun on our skin and the sound of birds chirping in the trees created a sense of tranquility.
To break the silence, I asked, "So, tell me a bit about yourself. Are you a freshman? And what program are you doing?"
Thando's eyes sparkled as she replied, "Well, I am a freshman indeed, and I'm doing supply chain management. And it's just hard, you know? Maybe as time goes on, I'll master it." She laughed, and I couldn't help but smile.
"What about you?" she asked, her curiosity genuine.
"I'm a freshman too, doing electrical engineering," I replied.
Thando's gaze turned thoughtful. "By the way, is this your hobby? I mean, running early in the morning like this?"
She watched me intently, her eyes searching for something. I sensed a deeper question behind her words.
"It wasn't," I admitted, "until recently. I started running to clear my mind. I've been struggling with some personal issues."
Thando's expression softened, and she nodded encouragingly. "I think I know what you mean," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
"I started running two weeks ago, after a fight with my boyfriend. He's not responding to my calls, and I feel lost." Her voice cracked, and she paused, collecting herself.
I sensed a deep pain behind her words and felt a pang of recognition. "I'm sorry," I said, meaning it. "That must be tough for you."
Thando's eyes welled up with tears, but she smiled weakly. "Thanks for listening. It means a lot."
I nodded, feeling a sense of connection with this stranger. "I think I'm also running from my own demons," I said, sharing my own struggles. "I did something terrible last week, and since then, I've locked myself in my room. None of my friends have reached out to me, and it feels like I'm invisible."
Thando's expression turned sympathetic. "I'm so sorry," she said, her voice soft and gentle. "That must be hard to feel unloved and unvalued."
As she spoke, we stepped through the campus gate, the sound of chatter and laughter from students nearby filling the air.
My heart skipped a beat as I caught sight of Sarah in the distance. She was walking toward us, her eyes fixed on me with a mix of surprise and uncertainty.
Her footsteps slowed, and she raised her hand, touching her mouth with her fingers. I felt a surge of anxiety, my palms growing sweaty as our gazes met.
Thando noticed my reaction, her eyes flicking toward Sarah before returning to me with a questioning look. "Is everything okay?" she asked, her voice low and concerned.
I hesitated, unsure of how to respond. Sarah's presence brought back a flood of memories and emotions, and I felt like I was standing at the edge of a cliff.
Interestingly, on our right side, Thando's boyfriend was standing with another girl, and he looked at Thando with an awkward and hurtful expression. When Thando turned around to look, she let out a deep sigh.
To be continued...