Mary trudged up the stairs to her room, her feet heavy as if carrying the weight of the world. The house was unusually quiet, save for the faint murmur of her parents arguing in the kitchen. Lately, their voices had been raised more often than not, and the tension in the air was suffocating. She barely glanced at the pile of unpaid bills on the dining table as she passed by. She knew what they represented—another reminder of her family's crumbling finances, another reason why her parents were always on edge.
Her father, once patient and kind, now snapped at everyone, his words sharp like a blade. Her mother wasn't much better, her usual gentle tone replaced by biting remarks. They were all struggling, but no one seemed to notice how much it was tearing Mary apart.
Reaching her room, she closed the door quietly and locked it. The click of the lock was a small comfort, a barrier between her and the chaos outside. She leaned against the door for a moment, eyes shut, willing the world to leave her alone.
But the silence in her room wasn't peaceful; it was loud with her thoughts. Mona's words from earlier that day replayed in her mind like a broken record."Her grade was sliding because she was busy living a wayward life."
Mary clenched her fists, trying to push the words away, but they stuck like thorns. Mona's mockery wasn't what hurt the most. It was the tiny voice in her head that agreed with her.
She moved to her bed and sank onto it, pulling her knees to her chest. Her mind was a battlefield of conflicting thoughts. Sophie's warning about Ryan rang loud and clear, but it only made things worse. Sophie had said that Ryan wasn't who Mary thought he was, that he was dangerous and manipulative.
But how did Sophie know? That question lingered like a dark cloud.
Is Sophie lying about Ryan? Mary wondered, her brows furrowed. It didn't make sense. Sophie had always been her friend, always cared for her. But if Sophie was telling the truth, that meant Ryan wasn't the kind and understanding person Mary had come to trust. It meant he had been deceiving her all along.
Is Ryan really going to do what Sophie said? Another thought stabbed at her. If Sophie was right, what did that mean for Mary? Had she let herself be fooled by a charming smile and kind words?
Her chest tightened as the questions swirled, each one more painful than the last. She felt trapped between two versions of the truth, unsure of who or what to believe.
Her breathing quickened. The pressure in her head was unbearable, and the pain in her heart was worse. She couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't stand the torment anymore.
Her eyes fell on her desk, where a small pin lay beside her notebook. She reached for it instinctively, her hands trembling. Her mind went blank, the storm of emotions momentarily silenced by a single, desperate thought: I just need this pain to stop.
She rolled up her sleeve and pressed the pin against her skin. The sting was sharp, but it brought an odd sense of relief. As the pin broke the surface, a wave of calm washed over her. It was like all the noise in her head had been muted, replaced by a strange, fleeting pleasure.
Mary let out a shaky breath and leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes. For a moment, the world felt quiet again. She didn't have to think about Mona, Sophie, or Ryan. She didn't have to think about her parents or their fights.
She dropped the pin onto the floor and pulled her sleeve down, hiding the fresh marks on her arm. Exhausted, both physically and emotionally, she climbed onto her bed and curled up under the blanket. The weight of her thoughts had dulled, but it hadn't disappeared. She knew it would come back. It always did.
But for now, she felt numb. And numb was better than the pain.
Her eyes fluttered shut, and within moments, she drifted into a restless sleep.