CHAPTER 1
Why do I feel so useless, so unloved, so stiff, so breakable. The feelings I've had locked away in my heart have come back to spite me. All my regrets have united to gang up on me. All the negative energy is hovering above my head, and I have no one to turn to. Not that I need anybody. There's no escaping this emotional trap I unknowingly set for myself, I'm at the brink of death, but all I can think about is how much I loved when I wasn't supposed to. The emotional tank I possess has been empty for a while now, and I couldn't get why, but now it all makes sense. The absence of those who truly loved me left me empty inside.
"What would it matter if I die physically, I'm already dead mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Now I'll just be gone for good."
Those words run out of my mouth as I hold on tight to the slippery steel of the bridge. I did this to myself, I'm the one who wanted to die, but why can't I let go of the bridge? Why can't I get myself to say it out loud? I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die.Those words linger in my head as I try to pull myself up.
No, this can't be. This can't be how I die. How'd I slip?... Wait, what is this feeling? It feels so calm, so understanding, so smooth, so esthetic. I don't understand how, but I feel free, I feel so free for the first time in forever. This feeling reminds me of when my grandmother was still alive. This mysterious place frees my soul. It clears my mind, but I can't breathe. But I guess I should get out or else I'll die, no, I'll stay a bit longer, just a little bit longer. For a second, I forgot I'm knocking on death's door. My clothes are soaking wet, and my face is dripping with water, but it's not just water that's on my face, "am I crying? Am I really crying? It's been a while since tears fell from my eyes." Oh, I forgot I almost died there. The feeling I had when I was falling was nothing like I imagined death would be like, this version of death was scary. As I am right now, I have nowhere to go, nothing to eat, no one to hold. Am I THAT worthless? Am I THAT unwanted? The only person who saw my worth is now gone, and I can't help but want to join her.
What's that sound? It's very heavy, very scary, very fearful and very distraught. I wanna check it out, but what if it kills me, whatever it is? Didn't I wanna die just a few hours ago? I'll go anyways, I mean, what do I have to lose?
"Ouchhhh!!!"
Oh my God, who is this piece of shit?
"Could you explain to me why you pinned me to the ground like I'm a wanted criminal? And what are you doing here anyway?"
Hey, this guy doesn't look like junk at all. His side view is as shitty as his manners though, who the fuck pins a woman to the ground as if they're about to slaughter a beast, WHO!!! People like this this just enrage me to the core, they get my blood boiling, my face fuming with anger and hatred. I just wanna..."You're not as ugly as they described you." he just spoke to me, his voice is deep, exciting, and manly. "Who's 'they'?" I ask hesitantly.
"You look more like a depressed troll to me." How'd I suddenly become a troll? This guy makes me feel dumb, or rather ugly, as if he's any better. "You have a beautiful body, I see a lot of potential." What does he mean by 'potential', and he thinks my body is beautiful?
"What? Potential? What do you mean?" I feel like I'm going to regret asking that question.
"You're mine now. You belong to me."
What does he mean by I belong to him? Do I look like an object for him to claim ownership of? But he IS kinda cute.
"You're coming with me, whether you like it or not. I paid a lot of money for you and i won't let it go to waste!"
His voice is so...possessive, and by that, I mean it's domineering. My heart is pounding like crazy. Am I scared, or am I... completely infuriated!? As much as I would like to kick his ass, he's way too big for me. "I know who sold me, but my question is why did you buy me?" Why do I even care? He's just going to throw me out once he's
with me anyway.
"Because you're useless, that's why." Oh, how I wish I had died now, then wouldn't have to deal with HIM.
"Let's go," he says, looking very pissed.
"Absolutely Not." Oh hell, why'd I say it like that? Why do I even care? "Put me down, you egocentric, handsome, and very tall jock!!" Did those words really come out of my mouth? I feel so stupid. He wasn't supposed to hear that, I wasn't supposed to say that.
I'm in a very gorgeous car, more gorgeous than the owner itself, and I'm sitting next to a TOTAL stranger, thinking I don't know what. I don't know what he's planning to do with me, but what I know is I was sold to him at a very high price by those I used to call family. I'm not surprised, really, I'm really not, I just thought they would at least bother to sell me with dignity. Instead, I find out at the worst possible time ever. I really hate those people. They disgust me, and they infuriate me more than everything that has happened cause it all happened because of them. And I was just a pawn in their little game. But that should be the least of my worries, I have a very handsome man kidnapping me right now, and I guess I should try to escape or not. I mean, it would be nice having my first kiss with a handsome kidnapper, right?
"How long are you gonna be lost in your own thoughts?"
I turn my head to look at him, and he looks like he's ready to kiss me.
Do it, do it, do it, kiss me dammit.
"You don't really think I'm gonna kiss you? Right? You look like a depressed troll."
"Not like I've never heard that before, genius." I'm in for it now.
"You're too funny."
I thought he would have chopped my head off by now. What happened?
I'm in front of a massive house, kinda looks like a castle, you know, like the ones I usually see in fairytales, kinda. "Whats your name? I mean, we can't live together whilst I don't know your name." Why the fuck did I just ask him for his name. Why does it seem like I'm braver than usual today?!!! I hate this me, I hate this me, I hate this me. What's come over me? He is handsome though. "Can you dance?" He asks without answering my question. "What do you mean by that?" What kind of question did I just ask? Am I dumb?
"It's a simple yes or no...Julia". Of course, a self-centered asshole like him won't answer my question. This guy is really gonna piss me off ... now, won't he? And what makes him think he can ignore me like that. But I am rather used to being ignored, mistreated, and assaulted, so I doubt he's any different from the rest.
"So, will troll answer my question or not?" I have say though, his voice is just mesmerizing.
"Yes, I can." And for some reason, I'm shy... what the fuck is happening. Someone please help me get rid of this feeling.
"Dance for me." Well, that was sudden ... though his tone caught me off guard. "Dance for me, my troll." He says, looking at me with lustful eyes. "What do you mean?" I know exactly what he means, and I wanna slap his handsome little face till it resembles the color of blood. The mixed feelings I have for this guy are starting to piss me off. I so wish I...I could just... tie him up in a dark room, torture his ass, then tear him apart limb to limb. "Do you not wanna dance for me? It's fine if you don't, but that'll mean you'll have to entertain me in other ways." He says such a dirty thing, yet he still seems like a beaming light of sunshine while saying it, with his outstanding jawline, his deep blue eyes, thick, silky brown hair and perfectly shaped lips in faded pink. "Could you please just let me off, I need to..." he corners me before I can finish my sentence, starts to unbutton my shirt."Where do you wanna go? Cause last I checked, you have nowhere to go, nothing to eat and most importantly you belong to me." He says as he continues to unbutton me, and for a split second, the butterflies in my stomach wake up.
I push him away so hard he bumps the table behind him,and now I fear I angered him. "Don't you wanna be loved... Julie? Don't you need to be touched... Julie?" He says as he gets closer and closer, and my heart beats faster and faster. When he finally gets close enough, he slips his hands under my shirt to grab my titties and sqeezes them hard yet gently. He gets closer and kisses me so passionately, I swear he was turned on. He keeps at it till I feel his hand slowly moving to my pants only to tear them. I'm too into the situation to say anything. He proceeds to undress me, whereas all I can do is kiss him back and let out slight moans of pleasure. He carries me to the couch where he gently lays me under him when I feel his fingers rubbing my pussy "are you a virgin Julie?" He asks with a soft, pleased voice as he continues to rub it. "Mhhm," I let out sounds as the words were stuck in my throat. He rubs faster and faster, and the faster he rubs, the hotter it gets. Not moments later, I feel a sensation I can't explain, a slightly painful sensation. Feelings of pleasure and desire for more rummaged through my blood and he kept finger fucking me. "I'm Jacob," he whispers in my ear as he pulls away from me and to think I expected him to actually fuck me.
"I don't have anything to wear." I add as he walks away."You tore my pants, I can't wear those."
"I prefer you without them, and you should learn how to dance if you wanna make me money." And again, I'm confused about what he meant by that." What do mean by 'make you money'?" I really am curious as to what he meant. How does my dancing make him money? This guy is as mysterious as the existence of ghosts. Yet, in this case, he's more like a sexy and kinky ghost. "... and what am I gonna wear?" He says nothing until I ask him for clothes." Go upstairs, second room to your right is your room, and you'll find clothing that'll suit you way better than those busted pants of yours." Part of me actually takes offense to that, but he's right, I could use a change of clothes. "Oh, and take a shower first. You reek of rejection and desperation." Okay, that is an insult, without a doubt. I scan his house for pictures of him as I go upstairs and cross paths with none. The only pictures I see are of his family, or are they his friends? Doesn't matter.
I take a shower and head back to "my room" for a new set of clothes. All I can find in this wardrobe are dresses and skirts. I am not a fan of dresses and skirts. I wrap a towel around me and head downstairs to address the issue." I only see dresses and skirts in my wardrobe. Do you perhaps have pants instead. I don't like anything that reveals too much of my body."
"Yet you wore a pair of pants that was so torn I could see almost every bit of your skin. What's so different about the clothes in there compared to your pants?" He's actually right. My pants were so torn that most parts of my lower body was just there for everyone to see. The fact he's right is what pissed me off and knowing that I have no choice but to wear those clothes for every single day as long as I stayed with him, and for most part I have no idea how long he'd planned to keep me. This whole thing is just too much for a 20-year-old girl who never even finished school but is instead in a house with a handsome guy who claims to own me. "...and go put something on before I take that towel off of you." I'm rushing upstairs as my face turns as rip as a tomato.
I put on the longest thing there, which covers almost nothing. Every bit of clothing in here is so skimpy even whores wouldn't wear them, he treats me like a slut, a toy. I go downstairs to get some food when I catch him undressing me with his eyes. "That's more like it. Now you don't look as ugly as you were." He bites his lips and pulls me closer for a kiss when I decide to step back as a way of rejecting his kiss. "You start dance lessons at 9 on the clock. You better behave." How does he casually arrange things without consulting me, though I understand that I'm the burden in all of this. He's actually an 'angel' in all of this.