As I followed her, she didn't even look at me, as if she didn't care.
Finally, unable to contain my feelings, a disappointed "That's it?" escaped my lips.
She didn't answer.
"That's it?" I repeated with pain in my voice.
This is not how I imagined our date... Not at all... It wasn't the feeling I was hoping for...
"Uh-huh," she replied coldly after a pause. "I'm sorry I didn't meet your expectations."
What, what is she talking about? Didn't meet my expectations? Why is she acting like it's my fault? She was the one who kept her distance the whole date!
I couldn't take it anymore! I just grabbed her hand and led her behind me to the nearest lonely empty alleyway.
To my surprise, she didn't resist at all...
When I finally stopped and turned to look at her, I saw her perfectly calm eyes looking back at me.
I lowered my gaze...
"What are you saying? What's wrong with you, Emi? Why are you acting like this today? Are you bored with me? If that's the case, just tell me! Maybe I'm not dressed right? Maybe I shouldn't have worn this stupid, ugly dress! Maybe you're ashamed of me!" I shouted at her, finally letting out my suppressed emotions.
Luckily, no one could hear us from here.
But she just remained silent...
And I was still afraid to raise my head, afraid to look at her, afraid to see the hatred for me in her eyes...
I kept shouting with my head down, "Why! Why were you like this today? I thought you had a lot of experience with this! This is not how the date was supposed to go!"
"Really? You didn't like it? Bye then," I finally heard her ice-cold voice.
No!
I grabbed her arm and turned her around to face me.
"What do you mean?! Answer me!"
I finally looked at her face, expecting to see it full of disappointment and hatred.
But her expression was completely different from what I'd expected. Her lips were pressed together, her face was flushed, and her eyes were slightly moist, as if she was about to cry.
Confused by her expression, I let go of her hand.
I froze for a moment, unable to say anything, shocked by her reaction.
What?
Why is your face like that?
Why are you looking at me like that?
Emi? What's wrong?
Where's the cold Emi who was with me all day? What's wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? I don't understand anymore.
Then she finally snapped. "Me?! Are you serious! I never said that! You're the one who always says I'm experienced in romance! But I'm just as inexperienced as you are. I've only dated once in my life, and it wasn't even for real! Dating my childhood best friend, who I've been in love with for a long time, is different. I don't know what to do! I want to take the lead, but I don't know anything either!"
What?
Her words may have made sense, but they didn't explain her behavior today at all!
"Why are you acting like this?! You were so cold the whole date! And now you're acting like you weren't?" I yelled. "You definitely didn't enjoy the date!"
"Why are you talking like it's my fault, stupid! You're the one who thinks the date sucked!"
What is she saying?!
"What?! I never said anything like that!"
"Oh, yeah?! But you definitely thought so! You acted like you didn't like anything today! Putting on a smile like you were forcing yourself! You're the one who didn't like this date!"
"Me?! What are you talking about?! You were already in a bad mood when you showed up for the date!"
"No! You were the one who was bored the whole time! You were so tense the whole time! That's why I thought my date idea was a failure!"
"For God's sake! What are you talking about?! You don't make any sense!"
"I just know it! You think going to the movies sucks too, don't you? It's just a lame date! I'm sorry!"
Her voice trembled slightly.
Is she even listening to me?!
"What made you think that?!"
"The words you said in the chat group!"
"What words?!" I shouted, confused.
"That going to a cafe for a date is lame and all that! I only remembered those words when it was too late! I wanted to cancel the stupid date, but you were already waiting for me!"
What is she saying? Is she out of her mind?!
"What nonsense are you talking about? First of all, don't you dare call this date a failure! You really are an idiot! And I wasn't serious when I said those words in the group chat! I just lied to find out where you like to go!" I shouted, angry at her stupid words. "I was going to tell you that I liked you back then and wanted to do it somewhere special, but then I got scared and changed my mind! Why would you remember and worry about something so trivial?!"
My eyes also filled with tears, either from the rush of emotion or from seeing her like that.
I couldn't believe how stupid she was! Ugh! I just can't!
But she didn't stop. "Trivial? Of course I care, you idiot! You didn't even hold my hand when we went to the movies today! You usually hold my hand, so when you didn't, I started to worry that something was wrong. It confirmed my thoughts that you thought this date was a failure. Why else would you not hold my hand?! I thought you were disappointed! And then you just sat through the whole movie with that stupid stone face! I thought you were bored!"
What the hell?! I didn't give her any reason to think that...! Where did she get such a stupid idea?!
"I had this look on my face because I didn't want to show my nervousness! It's our first date! Of course I was nervous! You were the one who acted cold. I thought I'd ruined everything! I thought you regretted asking me out or something!" I yelled at her.
"I was too! That's because I was nervous too! You idiot!" she yelled back.
"So you weren't bored with me?"
"Of course not! It's not like that at all! I love being with you! What about you!!! You really don't think the date sucked?"
"Of course not, dummy!"
"Then why didn't you compliment me when you saw me?!"
What?
What is she saying?
Ah...
I just stood there not knowing what to say.
I just stood there realizing how stupid I was.
Were we both just worried about the same thing?
She looked at me.
"Why aren't you saying anything?"
"I... I'm sorry, Emi... I... was just really nervous... I really wanted to compliment you... You look really pretty today... And those clothes look really nice on you. And your hair is really cute. And I really don't care where we go on our date... As long as you're with me..."
There was a pause. We just stared at each other, barely holding back the silent tears that flowed down our cheeks...
Finally, she lowered her head, wiped her face, and said, "Do you really mean it?"
"Of course, you idiot," I replied confidently, also lowering my head and wiping away my tears.
"Do you really think I look pretty today?" she asked in a softer voice. "Does that mean you don't think I'm ugly?"
"You dummy. How could you think such a stupid thing?" I asked. "Honestly, when I saw you, I was just amazed at how you look. You're really beautiful. Do you know how lucky I am to have such a beautiful girlfriend?"
I smiled at her.
"Hahaha..." she laughed softly, "You're such a dummy... I'm sorry, but my mind started making up scenarios and I ended up hurting myself with my own imagination... That's why I acted the way I did... I'm sorry, I should have been in charge of the date, but I feel so incompetent..."
We looked at each other again and I noticed a slight smile of relief on her face. It was as if we were both starting to realize what idiots we had been all day.
"No, that's absurd. No one should be in charge on a date... I'm the one who should apologize for leaving everything to you and stressing you out..."
It seemed like common sense had finally returned to me.
She stood silently looking at me.
I walked over to her and gently took her hand.
I realized that I had been waiting for her to make the first move, assuming that she was more experienced and knew what to do. But now I realized that this was all as new to her as it was to me.
There was a hint of surprise in her eyes, but it was quickly replaced by tenderness, and her face lit up with a happy, gentle smile.
Smiling back, I looked into her eyes.
"I thought you didn't like me anymore and were disappointed in me..." I said.
"And I thought our date was too clichéd and boring for you..." she replied.
"I thought you didn't like the way I was dressed..."
"You too? Gosh, we really are a couple of fools," she laughed. "But you don't have to worry about that, silly. You look adorable in this dress... The whole date I kept thinking how cute you look... I'm sorry I didn't compliment you right away..."
"You really think so?" I asked.
"Of course," she replied gently.
"I thought my dress was stupid..."
"Idiot, there's no one cuter than you! You should wear dresses more often!"
I looked at her, suddenly realizing how close we were. Her face was only a few inches from mine.
Suddenly, the urge to kiss her overwhelmed me.
Would I be able to? How would she react?
I tentatively brought my face close to hers, but hesitated at the last moment and pulled back abruptly, my face flushed.
"I'm sorry!" I said, catching her slightly surprised look.
In response, I only felt her grip on my hand tighten...
I only had time to look at her in confusion before she pulled me back to her.
Her eyes met mine with tenderness and determination. Time seemed to freeze as I was hypnotized by her gaze.
I realized what she was about to do...
As I closed my eyes, a moment later her lips met mine in a tender kiss.
What's happening? My mind is melting. My thoughts have stopped. My heart is pounding like crazy... I can't think straight... I can only feel her soft lips... Her kiss. It's so tender, gentle and sweet...
When the kiss naturally ended, she pulled away and murmured, "I'm sorry for kissing you so suddenly..."
"No... I liked it... and I asked for it, didn't I?" I said softly, feeling my cheeks burning. "I asked you to make the first move..."
I took her hand and we walked down the street, smiling, walking leisurely, squeezing each other's palms.
"By the way... about the aquarium. Should we go there next time?" I asked.
"Hmm... I think that's a good idea!" she said.