"Do you want to continue with university?" asked a woman whose hair had just started to turn gray. She was the director of the department I was studying in.
She had called me to her office again today. By now, I was used to it. After that incident, I sadly hadn't been able to recover. My death... my resurrection... Technically, I couldn't call it resurrection; it felt as if I had gone back in time. But I was certain I had died.
I had no idea what I had experienced. It was as if I had woken from a long nightmare.
"Are you listening to me? With these grades, you're in trouble. If this continues, we'll have to revoke your scholarship!" The woman was repeating the same words over and over.
I had entered this university on a full scholarship. I was always good at my studies. But ever since I died, I hadn't been able to pull myself together. I know it sounds strange to say it that way, but I'm certain it wasn't a dream. I had seen that monster, that angel, with my own eyes.
And yet, even after dying, I was still here. Where had I experienced that event? Was it really not just a nightmare? Forgetting that pitch-black angel was impossible.
If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I probably would never have believed it was an angel. My current self preferred to call it a monster rather than an angel.
"I understand, Director. I just need a little more time," I said in a low voice. All I needed was time. I had to overcome the immense fear within me—the fear left by that being's impact on me.
"Time? The year is almost over, and you're still asking me for time? Everyone is tired of your irresponsibility. I get complaints about you every day. If you care even a little about yourself, you know what you need to do."
The director's anger hadn't subsided. She had been incredibly helpful to me in my first year. Now, I couldn't even look her in the eye. The pity I saw in her eyes was devastating. It was unsettling to see others look at me that way.
"Anyway, you may go."
Without lifting my head, I left the room. The situation was dire. The pain of death was still deep in my soul. It felt as though my greatest desire had vanished. Perhaps I was going through a new psychological condition...
To be honest, seeking help from psychologists wasn't something I preferred in situations like this. I was somewhat old-fashioned about it. Most of the time, I tried to find solutions on my own. I avoided hospitals, partly because of the cost and partly because they felt foreign to me.
What I needed most right now was a long sleep... Away from prying eyes, a sleep that belonged only to me.
"I'm going home early today," I decided. I descended the stairs slowly.
Watching the cheerful people around me always gave me a sense of peace. Their happiness, completely unaware of my existence, was enough to soothe me, even if just a little.
I hadn't spoken to my friends since that incident. I felt like a stranger now... to everything. Psychologically, I wasn't a strong person to begin with, and this event was draining me further.
I quickly exited the university campus. I could feel the dullness and weight in my eyes. I now had the eyes of a dead man. And yet, I still felt the presence of that being before my eyes.
How it manipulated the flow of time... The immense power it wielded... I remembered every detail. I still recalled the scene of my death. It had managed to kill me repeatedly within time.
And yet, somehow, I must have defeated it... If I hadn't, could I still be here? But how did I defeat it? And if I didn't, how did I escape? What had I sacrificed?
All of this was the greatest mystery to me. My entire year had been consumed by these questions, yet I had found no answers. Whenever I tried to ignore it all, I would always end up back in the same place.
My insistence on not seeking psychological help continued... I refused to believe I was ill.
As I left the university, I headed straight home. My entire year was on the brink of being wasted because of this incident.
All I wanted to do was sleep. I had loved sleeping ever since I was a child. Whenever I felt bad or sad as a kid, I would run to my bed.
My current situation wasn't much different. I walked quickly toward my apartment. It was in a location close to the university.
I had chosen it carefully to avoid transportation issues. When I reached my apartment, I slowly pushed the door open.
"Hello, my lovely home..." This greeting was something I often did when I felt lonely. After locking the door, I headed to the kitchen.
I slowly opened the fridge, poured myself a glass of a cold drink, and drank it all in one gulp. Cold drinks were essential for me.
I went straight to my bed. I needed to pull myself together. Honestly, I'd lost count of how many times I'd told myself that or made promises to myself.
"It's an honor to see you again!"
A deep, hoarse voice began speaking in the middle of my sleep. I could feel my entire body stiffen. The image of that angel came to my mind... those majestic wings, that overwhelming aura, and that immense power... It all came alive in my mind again.
"My Lord, please control yourself. You're harming yourself!"
All my senses had shut down. But somewhere deep inside, in the depths of my soul, something was telling me to stay calm.
"My Lord, our time is limited. I will transfer you to a higher realm. When the time comes, I will meet you again."
My Lord? Me? The man's sentences repeated monotonously, as if there were thousands of light-years between us.
"Your power has been completely consumed by the Command Angel. The world you're going to is not an ordinary place. It is the point where the universe spreads, the beginning of heaven!"
"Because of the power I used, the universe may have changed once more. However, my power may not have affected heaven."
The voices echoed in my mind again and again. I, on the other hand, had lost the ability to speak and could only listen, as if I were a mute.