Sophie stood outside Little Blossoms Kindergarten, clutching her tote bag like it was a lifeline. The sound of children's laughter (or was it screaming?) echoed from the playground, sending a chill down her spine.
"Just kids," she muttered to herself. "How hard can it be? They're tiny. I'm bigger. I can do this."
The door creaked open, and Ms. Penny, the headmistress, appeared. She was a petite woman with glasses so thick they could stop a bullet.
"Ah, Miss Harrison! Welcome to your first day. You'll be taking over Ms. Nancy's class while she's on maternity leave," Ms. Penny chirped.
Sophie forced a smile. "Great! I'm so excited!"
Her enthusiasm lasted exactly ten seconds.
---
Welcome to Chaos
The classroom was a war zone. Crayons littered the floor, finger paint smeared the walls, and a boy was scaling the bookshelf like a monkey.
"Help!" a tiny girl yelled as she waved a glue stick like a sword.
"NO GLITTER!" screamed another kid, who was covered head-to-toe in the sparkly stuff.
Sophie blinked, frozen in horror. "Is this… normal?" she whispered to Ms. Penny.
Ms. Penny patted her arm. "You'll find your rhythm. Good luck!"
And just like that, she vanished, leaving Sophie alone with 20 tiny tornadoes.
---
The Glue Stick War
"Okay, everyone, let's sit in a circle!" Sophie announced, trying to sound authoritative.
"No!"
"We hate circles!"
"I'm a triangle!"
A boy named Max promptly flopped onto the floor and started spinning like a top. Sophie tried to corral them, but they scattered like cockroaches in a lit room.
At one point, a girl handed her a sticky piece of paper. "I made this for you, Miss Sophie!"
"Oh, thank you! It's—" Sophie squinted. "Is this a… monster?"
The girl beamed. "It's you!"
---
Snack Time Horror
Snack time seemed like a reprieve until Sophie realized she had to supervise 20 children who had the table manners of feral animals.
"Why are you putting grapes in your nose?" she asked one boy.
"Because I'm a walrus!" he declared, proudly.
Another child accidentally spilled milk, and the entire class erupted into screams of "IT'S A FLOOD!"
Sophie slipped on the milk while trying to clean it up, landing flat on her back. A kid poked her with a carrot stick. "Are you dead?"
"Not yet," she groaned.
---
The Bathroom Incident
"Miss Sophie, I need to go potty!" a little girl announced, tugging at her arm.
"Okay, sweetie, let's—" Sophie stopped when she realized the girl had already wet herself.
Panic set in as Sophie tried to clean up, but another kid barged in. "Ewww, it smells!"
"Get out!" Sophie yelled, juggling paper towels and her dignity.
By the time she returned to the classroom, two kids were in a heated argument over whose imaginary dragon was stronger.
"I'll fight you!" one yelled, holding a toy sword.
"Bring it on!"
---
The Great Escape
During recess, Sophie thought she could relax, but no.
"Where's Max?" someone asked.
Sophie froze. "He's… not here?"
She found him halfway up a tree, grinning like he'd won the lottery. "I'm king of the jungle!" he yelled.
"Max, get down this instant!" Sophie shrieked.
"No!"
A crowd of kids gathered, chanting, "Jump! Jump!"
Sophie's heart nearly stopped. "DON'T JUMP!"
After a harrowing rescue involving a ladder and some serious bribery with cookies, Max was back on solid ground.
---
The Final Straw
By the end of the day, Sophie's hair was a mess, her clothes were covered in paint, and she smelled faintly of glue and sweat.
Ms. Penny returned, looking as chipper as ever. "How was your first day?"
Sophie stared at her, wide-eyed. "I think I've aged ten years."
Ms. Penny laughed. "Oh, don't worry, it gets easier."
"Does it, though?" Sophie muttered, dragging herself out of the building.
---
The Aftermath
At home, Sophie collapsed onto her couch, too exhausted to even cry. Her phone buzzed with a message from Mia:
> "How was the new job? Hope the kids weren't too crazy!"
Sophie typed back:
> "Crazy doesn't even cover it. I think I fought in a tiny, glitter-filled war."
She sighed and stared at the ceiling. Maybe tomorrow would be better—or maybe she'd just buy earplugs and armor.