Chapter 1: Awakening Feelings
"Arghh... help! Somebody, help me! I'm scared... Mom? ...Dad? ...Where are you? ...I'm scared... help me... why did you guys have to leave?"
In the cold of the night, Johan's thoughts pulled him into memories he desperately wanted to erase. The sadness, the loneliness, the tragic loss of his familyâthey all came rushing back like a storm.
Suddenly, a loud noise shook him out of his restless dreams.
Ring, ring, ring!
"Argh! I'm late for work... ah, rightâI got fired by that stupid boss."
Johan sat up, sighing. "I'm awake. Might as well eat," he muttered.
Dragging himself out of bed, he trudged toward the refrigerator.
"What are we gonna eat today?" he asked himself, only to be met with empty shelves.
"Damn it, I forgot to buy food on the way home yesterday. Ugh, looks like I have to go outside today."
Bang! He slammed the refrigerator door shut in frustration and decided to take a shower.
As the water ran down his face, Johan's thoughts wandered.
"Hmm... what's it like to have someone to love and care about? I'm jealous of you, Kimi."
Kimi was one of the few close friends Johan had since childhood.
"I hope someday I can have somebody to love and talk to."
Deep down, Johan dreamed of having a family of his own, something he never got to experience growing up.
"I'll catch a cold if I stay here any longer," he muttered, stepping out of the shower. Reaching for his towel, he dried off and began preparing to go out and buy groceries.
"Keys... keys... where did I put them? Why am I always like thisâargh!"
Clink.
The sound of his keys dropping caught his attention.
"Ah, there they are. Let's go!"
Johan stepped out into the brisk night air, walking toward the nearest supermarket.
Suddenlyâ
"ARGHH!" Johan yelled.
"AHHH!" a woman screamed.
Their eyes met.
Johan froze. The woman's gaze pierced through his heart, stunning him like the full moon on a dark, starry night. Never in his life had he seen a woman as beautiful and radiant as her.
"Hey..." the woman called out.
Johan didn't respond.
"Hey... are you okay?" she repeated.
Still, Johan couldn't find his voice. His mind raced.
"What is this feeling? I feel like I'm going crazy... Is this it?"
"HEY!!! Wake up!" she yelled, snapping Johan out of his trance.
"Ahh!" Johan stammered, startled by her loud voice. "I-I'm okay. I'm sorry, I didn't see you. Are you okay?"
For the first time in his life, Johan felt nervous speaking to a woman.
"Ah, good. I'm okay. Be careful next time, okay?" she replied with a kind smile. Then, glancing at her watch, she gasped.
"Oh no, I'm late! Here, take thisâcall me if you need anything!" she said hurriedly, handing him a slip of paper with her number.
"???" Johan stood there, completely confused as she dashed away.
His heart pounded in his chest.
"What was that feeling I had earlier? Huh... it can't be. After so many years, I've never felt like this before."
He clutched the piece of paper tightly, his mind swirling.
"Love? Is this... love?"
For Johan, love was an unfamiliar conceptâsomething he'd never experienced before. His past was filled with pain, sadness, and anger. The happy memories he had with his family were long buried beneath the weight of his suffering.
"Love? What am I even saying?"
But in that fleeting moment, Johan didn't realize that the emotions he had felt earlier would begin to break the deep hole of despair he had carried for so long.