Henry thankfully shut his mouth, and I drifted off, being woken up when a guard entered.
I was cuffed and brought to the white room. I have no confidence to tell how much time had passed in the solidary confinement, but for me, it only felt like one or two hours.
Inside the white room, I counted tiles again, before again sleeping a bit. I purposefully didn't sleep at night so that I could sleep here, and I was damn tired from everything that had happened.
Not long later, and I was again cuffed and brought out, and, I was brought to the showers.
"I always shower alone?" I said. It naturally wasn't because I wanted to, and damn, I really wanted to never shower again with others, but because it was decided that I would shower alone, after the last incident. Now I could hear the other prisoners in the shower room, and I didn't like it.
"Not anymore." The guard answered. When I came out of the solitary confinement, after my grandmother's visit, I was overjoyed that I had at least somehow gotten a privilege.
Now that was taken away again. Fine. They can't film us while we shower, and I can conjure up weapons anytime.
The other men were already stark naked, and I stripped as well, not looking at anyone and going to one free shower head. Feeling the hot water, I felt better, but again, the damn steam made me nervous, and once more, the damn green tiles made me angry. A figure came to me, and I was ready to get my knife, only to see that it was Henry. With his tall built and muscular body, his wet hair, he looked like a damn model.
I had the urge to point at him, why is no one attacking him? Why me on my first time when I showered?
I continued to wash my body, ignoring him. He still had a few wounds on him, that I left there.
"Where were you?" He asked amidst the water, bending to me.
"What do you mean?" I didn't look at him.
"Where were you taken?" Henry clarified.
"To a white room with a bunch of cameras." There were these metal-thingies again that came out of the wall with shampoo and shower gel, so luckily there were no real soaps. Prison and soap....it made one think of ugly things.
"Are they doing something to you in that room?" He asked.
"No. It is damn boring." If they did something, I would feel compelled to reveal my secrets, but I also would make them suffer.
"Sit with me when we eat." The water was loud, but Henry was louder, and he was damn fucking close.
"Why should I?" I turned to him and locked eyes amidst the water.
"You are no friend of mine." I slung my arm around his shoulder so that he could hear me clearly.
"It was your choice to come in here. I have no responsibility to take care of you."
I wanted to distance myself again, but Henry imitated me, slinging his arm around my neck and pressing me to him.
"You have responsibility because you are my master."
I was pushing him away when I noticed a guard, bellowing at us,
"KEEP DISTANCE."
Oh, now they care for distance, good to know. I still hadn't seen the guard from last time showering, and I can't wait to meet him.
Henry let go, and we finished showering. There were one-time usable towels in here, and across the showers were hair dryers that were attached to the wall. Most prisoners didn't use them, I bet the baldies wouldn't need to.
My shadow was in need for them, and I too. My hair had grown quite a bit since staying inside the prison. Time flies. Fuck.
We clothed ourselves with new uniforms and were cuffed, brought to the dining room, and uncuffed, where a line waited for us.
We stood in a row, and finally Henry got attacked. Only that he wasn't nearly raped, instead he was flirted with?! I was so angry that I wanted to slaughter someone.
No, I would prefer not to be flirted with by some gay man on normal days. But if I had to choose between getting flirted with and nearly getting raped, I WOULD PREFER THE FUCKING FORMER.
Henry stood in front of me while we stood in line, left and right every few meters were the guards. A man with long hair had walked to him—the guards ignored it.
"You are new, aren't you?" A flirtatious smile played around the long-haired guy's lips.
Isn't that the one I had seen doing it in the cell with the big muscular one? I scrunched my face in disgust, trying not to flip out because of the difference in treatment we got since entering the prison.
"I am." Henry nodded, taking a step forward, when the line moved.
I only took half a step forward, as I didn't want to witness whatever was in front of me.
"How old are you?" The long-haired man asked him, while teasing his own lips with the tips of a strand of his own hair.
I don't want to see that. I tried to step out of the line, but a guard eyed me strangely. Fuck you. Fine.
"Nineteen." Henry answered with a chuckle, while glancing at me.
Henrietta was only one year older than me, or so I thought, but it seemed that was not the case. Maybe she had repeated a year, apparently they both had, when I remember that Henry had flunked his college entrance exam on purpose to come in my class.
Ah, I am angry again.
"Should I show you around?" The long-haired man asked as if he owned the place, and Henry shook his head.
"I already have a master, and he gets jealous easily." He pointed at me, and I dry heaved right in front of them.
"Don't be disgusting." I murmured, wanting a cigarette.
"Oh...you don't like gays?" The long-haired man looked at me with amusement, his eyes, on the contrary, looked at me as if I were a dead man.
"I saw you being fucked– and that from near. It was traumatic for me." I said monotonously, as everyone took another step forward.
"Hahaha, you are funny." He laughed, but I bet I am now on his damn list—to murder, not to getting fucked by.
The gay man disappeared, and I was relieved.
"You really saw that?" Henry asked me, and I just looked at him. Why am I not killing him, right here, right there?
"Wow, so it's really like in the movies." He nodded.
"Yes. It's fucking funtown. Stay away from me, or I'll kill you."
Henry got his food, I got my food, and I walked past him to my cellmate, in hopes to never see this damn shadow again.