The first time I noticed it, I was at work drinking my morning instant coffee.
That morning, I had woken up with a horrible migraine that hadn't allowed me to think straight for several minutes after opening my eyes. Still, I took a cold shower and a pill, hoping I would be fine in a couple of hours. The headaches had been happening more frequently over the last month, but they usually disappeared after a good breakfast at the restaurant on the corner.
Today wasn't like that. I was still in pain, maybe even more than usual. I had figured that maybe a little break would make me feel better, but there I was, rubbing my temples with my hands and sighing.
"It's a grade four brain tumor," the doctor said. When I understood, I laughed, incredulous. It was a joke, obviously; it had to be. But the doctor didn't laugh with me; he stayed there with that damn serious expression on his face. "There isn't much time left to live even if we were to perform a surgery, so you should take the time to do whatever you want to do so that you can go with no regrets."
In other words, get my affairs in order because treatment is a waste? I'm not afraid of death, but I am afraid of Eli. When I'm gone, who's going to take care of that hopeless guy? I do the cooking and cleaning and most of the footwork that kept Eli's thriving business growing. If it weren't for all my efforts, we wouldn't have ascended to such a high and mighty place.
What would even happen to us as a couple? I was barely holding onto him as it was. Walking home with the rain as a sort of ironic backdrop, I thought about how it was the third day of Eli's business trip, and he'd be back in two days. He wasn't even here to comfort me, not that he would. I stopped at my front door sadly, knowing that even if I was home, I wouldn't get to see Eli much, let alone get to hug him.
Would this make him care about me now?
To my surprise, when I opened the door, I saw a figure sitting on the couch smoking. He had handsome black hair, brown eyes, and tall.
It was Eli!
"Why are you back so soon?" I asked, quickly hiding the hospital papers behind my back. "And didn't you quit smoking? Did something go wrong at work?"
Eli just glared at me before standing up and slapping me across the face. Must've been a really bad workday. "Guess who I met?"
"Who?" I asked.
"Debbie!" he hissed.
Fuck my life! "She's back in the country?"
"So you knew she left the country, and you fucking lied to me? Why did you tell me that she was dead? How could you be so fucking heartless?!" Eli snapped.
"She told me to—"
"STOP LYING!!! You want to kill her off so badly?! What the fuck is your problem?!" he screamed. This again. It would always be perceived as me being cruel and jealous because of some story my sister spun up. Besides he knew Debbie wasn't dead himself, or did he not realize I followed his secret Instagram account. I could never be the good guy when it came to Debbie.
"Can you just hear me out?" I said. I opened my mouth to explain again, but Eli seized my neck and squeezed as though he wanted to kill me.
"Do you think I'll be foolish enough to fall for your lies again?" He glared and released his grip, allowing me to finally breathe. "I have always wondered if I treated you well enough for the past few years, but you just keep getting more inhumane. I mean, I fucking married you even though you weren't even my first choice! How could you be so cruel to your own family? How could you watch your sister suffer for so long and not help her? Are you proud of yourself? Why do you hate her?!"
"I admit I lied, but it's not for the reason you think," I said, catching my breath. "She—"
"That's enough! Don't try to spin things around! Just looking at you is making me sick!" Eli spat. He turned for the front door and opened it.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"You've got one hour. Move all your shit out of my house! I don't want to fucking see your face anymore! You're worse than an abandoned dog! Stop fucking clinging to me already! I don't like you! You've always just been a convenient fuck toy!" Eli snapped before slamming the door behind him.
Fuck! Did he forget that I was the one whose house this belonged to? I pay all the bills and make sure things run around here! I'm the reason he could live so luxuriously in the first place. I do it all because I love the shit out of him!
Fuck, Debbie! I thought you were running away from your ex Liam Saville! Why would you come back and immediately contact Eli? What was the purpose of causing this misunderstanding for me? I can't even think of an excuse for you this time!
I grabbed my suitcase and found a familiar set of women's jewelry, including Mom's blue sapphire necklace she gave to Debbie.
My heart broke.
Eli definitely lied so he could be with her, again. She's been back for longer than just today, and she's already been here in my home. She must've left this here purposely. So there's no more being delusional for me. Well, I guess their affair had been right in front of me all along. I suddenly remembered all the times I'd caught Eli leaving her room when we lived at my parents' house or just leaving me alone to go on dates with her. Even the maid caught on and kept quiet because I wasn't saying anything.
Maybe I just wanted to turn my back to it all. I thought Eli would be the one thing she couldn't steal from me. I had to give up everything to her already as she was my younger sister. Everything in my life was arranged to cater to her needs. I became more isolated from everyone in the world. I even stayed behind from college for a year because of her ruining my chances of getting admitted into school.
When I did go college, Debbie followed me there for some reason. My first friends ever outside of Eli didn't stick around me for long. Although I'm sure Debbie had something to do with it, I couldn't say a thing or else I'd be labeled exactly how she wanted—a terrible, inhumane guy.
Even after graduating from college, I couldn't leave home without causing irreversible damage to the relationship between my parents and me. Somehow, I was being blamed for all her academic and social problems and needed to give up my life so Debbie could be happy and feel important. To my mother and father, I was being arrogant and cruel when I did well for myself. When I insisted on leaving with Eli and funding myself from then on, they disowned me on the spot and spread the word to my extended family to not help me.
It was right after that when Eli proposed to me, and I felt like if I'd said no, I'd be trapped as Debbie's shadow forever. That thought alone made me desperate to accept anything and move on from my family. I wasn't even sure how Debbie had such a chokehold on the family. As a result, I had absolutely no one in my corner at all but Eli.
But in the end, it turns out that I didn't even have Eli in the first place. Ever since high school, he's been longing for my sister, and the little bitch was giving in the entire time. I always put her first and helped her no matter what I felt about it, and this is what I get back for it.
I finished packing up my things and left the keys on the mantel before taking one look back at my home. The foyer, a place filled with disappointment, wasn't my style at all. I regretted decorating this shit hole just to please Eli.
And here I was doing that again.
Things should be better this way anyway, right? I'm dying, so all problems should be solved with my death as long as I don't get treatment and prolong anything.
Death is better.
I walked onto the street and sensed something coming toward me. I turned my head to see a car hurtling in my direction. My eyes widened, and I started to cross quicker, but the car swerved with me and crashed into me, knocking me to the ground. I hit my head, and pain shot through my body as I rolled along the hood of the car until I hit the curb. I thought it was over, but then the car backed into me, crushing my stomach and side with a sickening sound of bones being crushed. My head was spinning, and I tried to reach for my pocket to grab my phone to try and call for help, but I couldn't move. My body was mangled and soaked in blood, and I could see my knee bone sticking out through a gaping wound.
I could barely breathe. I couldn't move. I could only watch as the driver walked out of the car to check on me.
"Is he dead?" a familiar woman's voice asked.
"Even if he isn't, he will be soon," a man said. "I bet you he's in a lot of pain, though."
"Perfect. I sent you the money already. Get out of here," the female voice commanded. A few seconds later, I saw her with my own eyes. Debbie, my sister, looking down on me with a smug smile. "I'm glad you're still awake, bro. You look terrible. Don't worry, you'll die soon enough, but before you go, I just want to tell you, I'm pregnant with Eli's child. Once I give birth to it, I'll name the baby after you, although Eli probably won't like it since he thinks you're disgusting.
"And one more thing, he only proposed to you so he could have a reason to see me more often. We just got back early from our lovely vacation in Laos, you know. Oh right, you thought he was just on a business trip. We only came back early because Eli just felt so guilty for not telling you. I'm sure he's grateful that you made everything run smoothly in his absence. Now I'm here to bring him to the next level. You're not needed anymore as your house, your business, and your man are all mine now."
Eli proposed because Debbie told him to? I knew she was a treacherous person, but... why did she have to kill me too? Why was she killing me over Eli?
I watched her lay down next to me and let out a bloodcurdling scream. Within a few seconds, multiple pairs of footsteps were running up to the wreck.
Debbie, ever the actress, started sobbing uncontrollably as Eli ran to her first. "Debbie, baby! Are you alright?!"
Baby? What the actual fuck? I tried to open my mouth, but I couldn't move at all.
"Eli! I don't know how, but he found out about us! He tried to kill our baby! I'd never seen him look so savage! I'm scared, Eli!" Debbie sobbed. "He pushed me in front of a car!"
Eli looked back down at me and shook his head, shooting me the most hateful look I'd ever seen him have. "Fuck! All I did was ask you to leave the house, and you try to hurt your sister and kill my baby?! What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you always have to bully Debbie like this? The only reason I stopped loving you is because all you want to do is possess me like some demon! You had to hit her with a car?! How badly do you want your sister to die?!"
"Don't yell at him, Eli! He's hurt!" Debbie begged.
"Don't worry about him! It's in his character to be fake like that; he probably isn't even really hurt. Let's get you to a hospital, Debbie. You must've been so scared. When you finish playing your little game, you can join us there, Jack. I'm sure your sister will forgive you, even though I won't. The least we'll let you do is see your nephew," Eli scooped her up in his arms like she was a princess.
I managed to grab the hem of his pants, but he swiftly kicked my hand away and deliberately stepped on it before leaving.
I was in too much pain to even watch them walk away from me. The people who wouldn't have anything to their name if it weren't for my hard work betrayed me. I'd lost everything in the pursuit of finding happiness with Eli, and what did I receive in return? I got left to die in the street, and somehow I'm still the bad guy.
Fuck. I'll admit it then!
I regret everything that ever happened. I regret living my life for the people who'd never live for me. I regret it because I knew my life would have a bad outcome if I kept competing with Debbie, but I did it anyway. Debbie always comes first, second, and third to everyone. It was my fault for thinking anything could be better or different if I just tried harder.
If I could have another chance at life, I'd definitely live it differently. I'd jump from Debbie shadow and thrive.
If only I had one more chance.