The Fuyuki Memorial Hall was packed to the rafters, with mages coming from all over the world to witness the fifth ever Holy Grail Tournament.
Eight 'servants,' heroic spirits from throughout human history, had been summoned to the small japanese city for the epic battle, a single elimination tournament, that would pit eight of the most powerful individuals from history in one-on-one sex-wrestling matches.
The lights went down, and a spotlight shown on the center of the ring, where a tall blonde woman clad in some sort of Mezoamerican style costume stood.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" She announced, a hint of a mexican accent slipping into her voice as she spoke, "It is my honor to be here, to commence the greatest wrestling tournament there is, there was, and there ever will be!"
She paused, giving a pleased with herself smile, and clearly waiting for applause that didn't come.
"So uncultured~" She teased, "Well, one way or another, if the royal rumble has taught me anything, it's that I need to reiterate the rules before every single competition, so as a reminder, the following contest is the first round in the Fifth Holy Grail Tournament. A contestant wins a round when they force their opponent to either orgasm, or submit. The first person to win two rounds, will win the match.
"And so..." She paused, and took a deep breath, "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS. First, making her way to the ring, representing the Emiya family…
"She is better known as the King of Knights, Ruler of all Anglia, The Once and Future King, and Artie to her friends. Standing at 5 feet one inches tall, and weighing in at 93 pounds.
"She is a one time grail-war contestant, counted as one of the nine worthies, and has been summoned in the Saber class. Her royal highness... ARTORIA... PENDRAGON!"
The sounds of "God Save the Queen" echoed through the arena, as the beautiful woman began to make her way to the ring.
The matches were nude, by requirement, but contestants were still allowed a bit of flair when they entered, and she came clad in her floor-length blue ermine-lined robe…
And nothing else, her full breasts and tight pussy on display for the crowd, as she took her place in the corner of the ring, staring back up the entranceway and waiting for her opponent.
"Hello everybody, and welcome to Fuyuki Hall!" The lead announcer, a young-looking woman in a full-body pair of tiger-themed pajamas declared, "I'm Lance-purr class divine spirit Jaguar Warrior, and I'm here tonight with distinguished Japanese native, Archer class spirit Em-"
"Archer," The man beside her interrupted, arms folded in his red coat, his white hair standing out bold against his dark skin "Just Archer."
"Gotcha, big boy. Well, whoever this handsome bowl of soft kibble is, he's here to provide expert color commentary on tonight's show."
The ring announcer continued, "And now, making his way to the ring, representing the von Einzbern family. He is the most iconic hero in all of ancient Greece. Hera's enemy, and Zeus's favored son.
"The slayer of the nemean lion, conqueror of the Amazons, and the only man ever to take Cerberus out of hell... Standing at 8 feet, 4 inches tall, and weighing in at 386 pounds…
"He is a member of the Argonauts and is making his Grail Tournament debut. Summoned as a Berserker, please welcome... HERACLES!"
The crowd gasped as the giant berserker began to make his entrance. While some Servants came accompanied by their masters, and others came on their own, he came accompanied by what appeared to be two maids, each one holding a chain that bound him, neck and arms.
"OH ME-WOW!" Proclaimed the redhead, pressing her hand to the crotch of her oversized tiger Kigurumi. "This guy looks big. I'd love to climb up HIS cat tree, if you know what I mean!"
"You have no idea how disturbing it is to hear you talk like that, Taiga," the dark-skinned man answered.
"Why not, ya jealous~?"
"Of which?"
"Which way do you swing?"
"Whichever one is away from you." He answered simply.
"Alright meow-ster snarky-pants, guess you don't want a hit of my catnip. Don't worry about that, I got plenty of amateur zoologists looking to do some up-close studying of Jaguar mating habits, I just wanted my co a-nyan-cer to get first shot at taming this wild cat.
"But the question does matter! You're in this tournament too, you big sexy Arch-purr. You care to tell us which of these contestants you're looking forward to playing cat and mouse with~?"