Anyway, I've finally figured out how to deal with Shin. The trick is to always respond to his nonsense with affirmations but show as little interest as possible. Basically, I try to channel my inner corpse during those moments. It seems to be working—his antics have toned down lately. I think he finally found someone as weird as he is, which works out for me. Now I can spend my breaks alone.
My plan with the blonde girl needs adjusting, but I was spot-on about the pink-haired girl who always hangs out in a trio. For the last two days of class, she's bought snacks from the cafeteria. I'll watch her again today. Tomorrow, the extra shipment should arrive. That gives me three days, counting today, to figure out the Three Girls' Club. You might wonder why I haven't acted yet. A good strategist knows when to strike. Monday was my first day—not exactly ideal for making moves. I was supposed to start yesterday, but some idiot stuck to me like glue all day, making it impossible to act with him around.
Anyway, after confirming whether the girls buy snacks today, I'll head to the bathroom for the main event: starting a fire. How? With white phosphorus, of course.
The plan's simple. I'll place a small amount of white phosphorus on top of the water tank of one specific stall toilet—not just any stall, but stall number four in the second-floor girls' bathroom. Why that stall? Because of the sprinkler system. For the uninformed, that's the fire sprinkler installed in the ceiling. It's positioned directly above the toilet's water tank, which is exactly where I need it. When the phosphorus starts burning and releasing smoke, the sprinkler will activate and spray water directly on top. That won't fully extinguish it—it is white phosphorus, after all—but it'll push the fire down into the toilet bowl, where it'll finally die out.
If you're wondering how I'll pull this off while chatting with the blonde girl back in class, let me give you a quick chemistry lesson. White phosphorus ignites when exposed to air, as long as it's dry. The amount I'm using should take four to five minutes to catch fire. I'll put it in a container with tiny holes, fill it with water, and leave it there. This acts as a timer. The water will gradually drain through the holes, and once it's gone, it'll take about four more minutes for the phosphorus to ignite. Add another two minutes for the sprinklers to detect the smoke, and I've got 16 minutes total from the moment I lift the container and the water starts leaking.
Yes, it's a simple plan a seven-year-old could dream up, but sometimes simplicity is the way to go.
Now, why the girls' bathroom? Because when they investigate why there was a false fire alarm, they'll find a burnt container of ash and assume some girl accidentally triggered the sprinklers while sneaking a smoke. This keeps suspicion far away from me. Nobody's going to catch a suspect who doesn't exist.
After a totally unsuspicious walk, I arrive at the bathroom. Monitoring the traffic here during breaks has paid off. Being on the second floor, with most students on the first during recess, this bathroom is rarely used. Only one person came in during the past two days of surveillance. I'm counting on luck here, but sometimes you need more than just skill.
As I set everything up, I get a weird feeling—a gut instinct telling me to leave the bathroom immediately. Normally, I only feel this way when Shin is nearby. I call it my Shin-sense.
"Finally finished the arc of my manga during Tatsuo's class. Say what you will about him—he's helpful," Shin's obnoxious voice rings out, confirming my suspicion. "Though he's a little uptight since his light novel flopped. Great writer, zero creativity."
Peeking through the stall's keyhole, I spot two girls stumbling in, looking dead tired.
Crap. The zombies from the Literature Club. I'm screwed. If they catch me in the girls' bathroom, I'll be labeled a pervert, a creep—no, wait. I'm already a creep. Whatever, I need to find a way out without being discovered.
"So, Cynthia, you've got the ending of your novel figured out?" one of the girls asks.
"Yeah," Cynthia replies. "The princess and the knight end up together. Happy ending."
"Ooooh, spoilers before it's published. This'll be a hit," the other one teases.
"Hey, Emília, isn't that stall door unlocked?"
"Yeah, it is."
Crap, crap, crap.
"If someone heard your ending, they could leak it once you're a famous writer and ruin your career."
Cynthia's face darkens as she glares at the stall door. "HEY! YOU IN THERE! IF YOU LEAK MY NOVEL SPOILERS, I'LL RUIN YOU!"
Yeah, I'm done for. My reputation's shot. I'll be the school pervert, spiraling into depression with no escape.
"HAHAHA!"
A loud, obnoxious laugh echoes through the bathroom. I know that laugh. It's Shin. Of course, it's Shin. For the first time ever, I'm actually grateful for his presence.
"Today marks the day I, Shin the Shinigami, the Great Vampire Hunter and Last Champion of the Galaxy, exorcise you!"
"Cynthia, it's that weirdo again," Emília mutters, her face twisted in disgust.
"We've told you, you can't even be in this bathroom, you freak! How do you plan to exorcise us?"
"HAHAHA! Your barrier is impressive, but I've brought reinforcements! A trusted ally who can breach your defenses! KURAI HIKARI, ENTER THE FRAY!"
Wait, the eyepatch girl is here too?
"My partner warned me of the vampire threat in this school," Kurai says, striking a dramatic pose. "I'll take a break from demon hunting to assist him."
"HAHAHA! Kurai Hikari, your time has come! Finish them off!"
Shin's laugh is insufferable, but I'd rather endure it than get caught.
Kurai flails her arms like spaghetti, shuffles around awkwardly, and strikes a ridiculous crane pose.
"Behold! The BLACK RAY OF MASSIVE TOTAL CATASTROPHIC DESTRUCTION!" Kurai declares.
The bathroom falls into an awkward silence.
"That was the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen," Cynthia mutters.
"Let's just go," Emília sighs.
"HAHAHA! Flee while you can! You've done well, Kurai Hikari. You've upheld your name!"
As the girls leave, Kurai remains frozen in her pose, her face bright red from humiliation.
What an idiot. I think if she said one more thing that embarrassing, I'd have just walked out of the bathroom without a care in the world about what anyone thought.
But no, I need to ignore all this. I have to finish setting everything up and get back to class—break time is almost over.
Koji glances at his setup and notices the mechanism is already primed. More than half the water has drained from the container.
I'm cooked.
END OF CHAPTER 6