{A/N: Drop some power stones and comments, will ya? My kind sire?}
"You know what…?" Octavian said, his face twisting into a mix of disgust and sheer boredom. It was the kind of look you'd expect from someone forced to watch paint dry—on a wall they hated.
"I don't wanna play with you anymore," he added, his voice somehow managing to sound both colder than an arctic wind and more bored than a cat at a dog show.
He was like a child who had spent months crying, begging, and bargaining for a shiny new toy.
Then, after finally getting it, he played with it for about five minutes before chucking it into the depths of his toy box, never to be seen, touched, or even thought about again.
Never to be seen.
Never to be heard.
Never to be played with.
'Wha—' Yue's thoughts were cut off—quite literally—when Octavian applied just the tiniest bit of pressure to her neck. And by "tiny," I mean "bone-shattering."
Her neck snapped into so many tiny pieces it could've passed for an exploded jigsaw puzzle. Blood gushed out like a waterfall, painting the ground with a masterpiece no one asked for.
"Boring…" Octavian muttered, tossing Yue's now very dead body onto a pile of other bodies—because, apparently, he was running a two-for-one deal on destruction today.
All of them belonged to what he liked to call "simps of death." And, oh yeah, he'd killed Death herself too.
Made her his metaphorical punching bag before putting her out of commission. Just another Tuesday for Octavian.
'Maybe sending some psychopathic thoughts to my younger self wasn't such a great idea?' Octavian mused, diving into a deep and utterly pointless philosophical debate with his own brain.
Here's the thing about Octavian: the reason he's a certified menace to society is because he knows too much.
And how does he know so much, you ask? Simple. His future selves sent all that lovely, unhinged information straight to his head. They practically built him into the walking nightmare he is today.
And wouldn't you know it, that's how Yue ended up seeing one of those future versions of Octavian. Big mistake on her part. Huge.
What happened next? Well, that's obvious, isn't it, folks?
"Hmm… Maybe it's time to plot against TVA," Octavian thought, his lips curling into a smirk as he conjured a glowing square portal in front of him. The portal shone with an intense orange hue, as if it were forged from molten lava itself.
As the portal shimmered, Octavian's appearance shifted, morphing into someone who looked strikingly similar to Mobius.
But not the older, tired version—oh no. This was Mobius in his prime, young, dashing, and smug enough to make a mirror blush.
Before stepping through the portal, Octavian paused and glanced back. Strangely, he wasn't looking at the blood-soaked chaos behind him (and boy, was it a masterpiece of carnage).
No, his gaze fell on his past self, who was lying on the ground after being absolutely wrecked by a… filthy wizard.
Yes, a wizard. Of all things, that was what had managed to one-shot him. Talk about humiliating.
You see, Octavian's eyes weren't just for show—they could pierce through everything, including time and space.
They were like the universe's most advanced security camera, so detailed they even knew about that questionable night with your sister's teddy bear.
Yes, that night, the one that left the poor bear with a hole in an unfortunate place. Octavian knew. He always knew.
"Let's see… how Lunatic you can truly become," he muttered, his voice dripping with curiosity and a hint of mischief. He focused on his younger self and decided to rewind the timeline just a smidge.
Why? Well, because his younger self was currently walking the razor-thin edge of becoming a goody-two-shoes saint now that Yue—his usual chaos fuel—was dead in this timeline.
That simply wouldn't do. Rewinding time was the only way to keep things nice and delightfully chaotic.
With that, Octavian stepped through the portal and into TVA—a place that was no longer the fearsome Time Variance Authority but had been downgraded to, essentially, Octavian's glorified puppet toolbox.
Meanwhile, Back in the Main Timeline…
Time itself rewound. Everything.
And I mean everything. From two cousins doing unspeakable things in a nearby town (you know what I'm talking about) to the existence of infinity stones, from Loki stabbing Thor for the 987th time to Odin sitting on his throne, wondering why on Asgard he ever thought "peace" was a good idea—every single moment went backward.
Even Yue, who had been so thoroughly killed by Future Octavian, was brought back into existence.
Time folded back to the moment right after Octavian got telekinetically smashed into a building by Yue, but just before she could hit him with that annoying ass thunder spell.
...
'Something… something is wrong,' Octavian thought as he staggered to his feet, brushing off the debris from being unceremoniously slammed into a building.
His expression was a mix of confusion and annoyance—like someone who walked into a room and forgot why they were there. He didn't know why, but something felt off.
Different. Weird. It was as if the universe had pressed a reset button, and now everything was slightly out of sync.
The first time time rewound, Octavian hadn't noticed. It was like a faint breeze brushing past him—easy to ignore.
But this second rewind? Oh, it hit him like a truck. He couldn't quite put his finger on what was happening, but he was sure of one thing: something was definitely going on.
Yet…
As his mind tried to untangle the mystery, Octavian's gaze locked onto her.
The "bitch" in question, Yue, who had the audacity to telekinetically yeet him into a wall like he was yesterday's trash. His brain was ready to launch into a full-on internal debate.
What should he do first? Investigate the weirdness which is happening? Or deal with this nuisance of a woman who clearly had a thing for throwing people around? Decisions, decisions.
'AHHHHHH!'
Before he could pick an option, a sudden, sharp pain shot through his head. It felt like someone had shoved a lightning bolt into his skull and set it to "extra crispy." Octavian groaned as his vision blurred, and then something strange started to happen.
He saw it. A slow-motion replay in his mind—Yue casting that annoying lightning spell on him just before time rewound.
At the time, Octavian hadn't fully noticed it happening, but apparently, his brain had been secretly recording the event like a CCTV camera on steroids.
And now, his brain had taken it up a notch, replaying the scene in glorious detail and slower than a snail on vacation.
What he saw was fascinating. Yue's mana seeped out of her body like thin, glowing threads, causing ripples in the air he hadn't noticed before.
The threads twisted together, forming a tiny ball of crackling thunder, just five inches away from Yue's left side.
The ball hovered for a split second before shooting toward him at lightning speed.
Octavian watched as the spell slammed into his shoulder, sending him reeling. He struggled, tried to resist, and eventually blacked out like someone who underestimated how strong their third tequila shot was.
'Hmm… fascinating,' Octavian thought, a devilish smile spreading across his angelic face. His mind was already racing, crafting ways to counter that spell the next time Yue tried it.
She wouldn't get the upper hand again.
Oh no.
Someone's about to get bitchslapped.
'So… how do I counter it?' Octavian's mind began to dissect the situation. 'Pain. That's what it relies on.
The lightning hits, nerves scream, pain spreads, and before I know it, I'm knocked out like a drunk at a tavern. But what if… what if I take pain out of the equation altogether?
What if the nerves don't even get the chance to scream?'
His eyes gleamed as the pieces of a plan started coming together. 'It's all about the target area.
If I can figure out where the spell will hit before it actually hits, I can stop the pain right there. But not just ignore it—no, that's sloppy. I'll shut it down. Completely.'
Octavian's thoughts accelerated. 'To do that, I'll need to stop the flow of life energy—right at the point of impact. If I cut off the supply, the cells in that area will essentially go dormant. No energy, no reaction, no pain. Simple, right?'
He paused, considering the complexity of what he was proposing. 'Well… not simple. First, I'd need to detect the exact spot where the spell will hit.
Thankfully, those mana threads This Bitch uses are like giant neon signs to me. I can feel the air distort before the spell even forms. If I time it perfectly, I'll know the impact zone before she even realizes I've figured it out.'
His grin deepened. 'Next, I'll create a localized energy block—a vacuum, if you will. I'll suck out the life energy from the cells in that spot, leaving them temporarily dead.
No energy means no pain, and no pain means the spell won't ripple through my nervous system'
Then came the part that made Octavian chuckle quietly to himself. 'Of course, I can't leave the cells dead forever. That'd be… problematic. So, the moment the spell passes, I'll reverse the process.
Flood the cells with energy, revive them, and boom—good as new. Sure, it might sting a little when they wake up, but who cares? I'd rather feel a quick jolt than get knocked out again.'
The sheer complexity of it all brought him no small amount of satisfaction. 'It's almost funny,' he thought.
'The precision this requires… detecting the mana disturbance, calculating the trajectory, shutting down the energy flow, and reviving the cells all in the span of a few milliseconds. Anyone else would call it impossible.'
'But I'm not just anyone, am I?'
YEAH! He is author's pookie!
'Let's see what you're hiding,' Yue thought with a smug smirk plastered across her face. Her eyes gleamed with a mix of confidence and mischief as she prepared her lightning spell.
With just a flick of her wrist, the spell was ready in under a second, crackling with power like an overcharged battery.
And then—BANG!
The lightning bolt shot forward, cutting through the air with a deafening roar. It raced straight toward Octavian, who stood there brimming with confidence, his posture screaming, I've got this. But, oh, how quickly confidence can turn into regret.
As the spell made contact, Octavian's smirk dissolved, replaced by an expression so ugly it could've been a meme. His eyes widened in shock—pun very much intended—as the bolt coursed through his body.
"SHIT! NOOOOO!!!"
"KIAKIKIKIKIKIKIIKIKIIKII!"
These were the only noises he managed to muster, a mix of frantic yelling and the kind of gibberish you'd expect from a cartoon character getting zapped. The sheer absurdity of the situation would've been hilarious if it weren't so pitiful.
Finally, his body couldn't take it anymore, and with a dramatic thud, he crumpled to the muddy ground, completely unconscious.
'Hmm… that was easier than I thought,' Yue mused, her smirk widening as she surveyed the aftermath. Octavian, the so-called menace, lay there in the dirt like a soggy, electrocuted ragdoll.
Extending her hand, Yue activated her telekinesis. With a casual flick of her fingers, Octavian's limp body floated toward her, the mud and dirt trailing behind him like he was some sort of messy broom.
Just as Octavian's body was about to slam into her, it stopped—mere Ten inches from her face, hovering in the air like a grotesque puppet.
'Let's see your memories, shall we?' Yue thought with a smug glint in her eyes as she extended her hand toward Octavian's forehead. Everything was going according to plan—or rather, it was unfolding just like it had before the timeline rewound.
But then…
SUDDENLY.
"PEEK-A-BOO!"
Octavian's voice rang out, sharp and gleeful, as if he were playing a twisted game of hide-and-seek.
Before Yue could even process the absurdity of it all, CRACK! His chest bones tore through his skin, ripping apart like they had no business staying put.
In a gruesome display, the sharp, jagged bones shot straight at Yue's chest and stabbed her right in the heart. Completely. Thoroughly. No room for take-backsies.
You thought Octavian failed? LOL! No, no, my friend. He didn't fail; he pretended to fail.