The study couldn't be described as grand, but it fit the estate's level and architectural greatness. A single window could be seen on the wall opposite the large double doors, making sunlight shine on Gerard's back. A single sculpture decorated the right side of the room, surrounded by bookcases. On the left, a staff leaned against the wall; it was the weapon Gerard used the most, and it could fly back to his grasp with nothing but a thought. Yet, Rylan didn't let himself be distracted by any of this; it was because of the pressure being emitted by the only other person in the room.
The air was heavy. Even breathing was difficult. It was as if the atmosphere had turned into lead. Even he, as weak as he was, could notice the sheer amount of mana flooding the study. For a moment, he thought of turning back and running away, his gaze faltering. However, he pressed on, gritting his teeth and walking to the front of his father's desk. The feeling was amplified, almost to the point of making him collapse. Rylan looked at Gerard dead in the eyes, disregarding the sweat trickling down his brow. Suddenly, the pressure vanished. His father's expression was almost inscrutable, but Rylan had managed to glimpse surprise. Gerard's deep voice resounded.
"I commend you for withstanding that, at least. Yesterday, you wouldn't have been able to even kneel without collapsing. What happened?"
As he spoke, the man's voice acquired an edge. It was only obvious. Rylan's change had been too abrupt and great; there was no way for Gerard not to suspect something was going on. Trying to calm his galloping heart, Rylan bowed.
"I'm sorry, Father. I swear to you that I won't repeat my mistakes. I have realized my wrongs."
Silence ensued. It was as if Gerard were waiting for him to speak, but he knew that there were no words that could heal the wounds he had caused his family. He could only admit to his foolish mistakes.
"Rise."
Rylan lifted his upper body, looking at Gerard. Then, his expression froze. Deep within his father's eyes, he saw distaste and even outright hostility. He knew why. A bitter smile made its way to his face; as expected, his father mentioned that incident.
"You know this isn't the first time you've asked for forgiveness."
Gerard narrowed his eyes. The temperature in the study started rising. Rylan sweated more, but tried to remain steadfast. He could remember what his father was talking about clear as day.
"…I know."
Once, he had told his family that he was going to turn over a new leaf and remedy his mistakes. His parents and siblings had been overjoyed and readily supported him. They trusted and believed in him, and he had thoroughly exploited that. In the end, he spent the money they gave him on drugs and whores, throwing away anything else. To him, it had only been an opportunity for some quick cash. After that, his family's attitude towards him had changed. The mere memories of that time made Rylan's heart ache. He cursed his past self with every fiber of his being.
Gerard continued.
"We both know what happened when I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. I believe you told me you 'needed to help someone in need,' only to spend the money I gave you in a brothel?"
"…"
"Of course, there was also the time when you stole your sister's savings and placed the blame on your elder brother."
"…"
Gerard continued to speak, bringing up a different mistake every few words. It was as if Rylan's heart were being stabbed repeatedly. In the end, he couldn't help grimacing. His father immediately stopped, waited a few seconds, and spoke again.
"You're frowning? Why, am I being too long-winded? Did you want me to just throw some money your way so you can waste it?"
Rylan quickly defended himself.
"No! It's just that… It's hard to listen to my failings."
"Why?"
"Because I am ashamed of them."
His father's fingers drummed on the wooden desk. Each time they did, the entire desk trembled. The temperature continued to rise. Rylan glimpsed the anger in his father's face. Gerard clearly hadn't believed a single word Rylan had told him. Sighing inwardly, Rylan bowed and got ready to be thrown out. Gerard's voice reached his ears.
"However…"
Rylan didn't move.
"…In the past, never once did you say you were sorry for your mistakes. You asked for forgiveness but never admitted to your wrongs. That's why," Gerard stood up, "I will give you one last chance."
Rylan blinked. Deep within his heart, he felt joy. The room's temperature rapidly decreased. The young man lifted his upper body at the same time that his father's hand touched his shoulder. Looking into Gerard's eyes, he realized one thing.
"Do not fail me again."
There was a maelstrom of suppressed emotions in the older man's eyes. Suspicion, anger, distrust, and despise, but also… Hope. Gerard continued.
"You will no longer be my son if you do."
Rylan's voice was completely firm.
"I won't."
Gerard slowly nodded.
"If you're truly serious about this, then I give you a task. Retrieve the heirloom you stole and sold. You know the one I'm talking about."
Rylan's mind immediately flashed to the staff he'd stolen and sold off. It hadn't been too long ago, but it was only natural that there was no way to tell where it was by now. It could have changed hands several times by now or gotten sent far away. Yet, he didn't eke out even a single complaint. He knew that it had been his mistake. He spoke with a determined expression.
"I will find it."
Gerard stared deep into his eyes. The man's eyes still contained a maelstrom of emotions.
"You can go."
Rylan bowed one last time before walking out of the study. Immediately, he let out a deep breath. The pressure had almost crushed him, but that wasn't the worst part; the worst had been having to face the consequences of his past mistakes. He hurt whenever his father looked at him with distasteful eyes. His past self didn't care about anyone other than himself, but Roland's memories had opened Rylan's eyes.
Letting out another sigh, he walked in the direction of his room once more.
I now have a mission.
It wasn't a simple one. Not only would it require information, but also personal power. On one hand, he still remembered who he had sold the staff to. On the other, this was because the man was a criminal notorious for dealing in drugs and trafficked goods.
Going into it unprepared would be a death sentence, but if I wait too long, there's no telling where the staff will end up.
He needed to become stronger as quickly as possible. Rylan's expression shifted into a mask of pure determination. If this was what it took to earn back the trust of his family, he would do it a thousand times over. The importance of his kin was something he had only realized after acquiring Roland's memories.
On the way, he met Sarah, who was waiting for him at an acceptable distance from the study. She bowed. Telling her to rise, Rylan then continued on his way without a word. He went by the same guards, hallways, and doorways before reaching his bedroom. He entered it, and Sarah followed him in a natural manner.
Rylan stared at the room's only mirror. Abruptly, he started undoing the buttons of his shirt. Next to him, Sarah flinched, before starting to do the same. He turned to her, appalled.
"No, wait, you don't have to-"
He caught himself and stopped in the middle of his words. It was due to the look of confusion that she threw at him, as if there could be no other reason for him to take off his shirt in front of her.
Fucking hell.
He took a deep breath.
"Stop."
His voice carried a slight trace of authority. Still managing her expression, Sarah followed his command. Rylan completely took his shirt off and stared at his figure in the mirror.
"…How pathetic."
The foundation of a swordsman's prowess was their body. If technique and swordplay were a blade, the power of one's body was the hilt. Everything one did, from peacefully walking to fighting a great enemy, depended on one's bodily capabilities. Even Aura itself only augmented one's original abilities. As a Sword Saint, Roland had trained his body to its utmost degree. He had hit the very ceiling that his body allowed him to reach. However, he had still been limited by his height, the length of his fingers and limbs, and other inborn factors.
Yet, what was this?
Even at a glance, Rylan's bone structure was better than Roland's had been. Despite that, his body was instead pitifully weak. 'Skinny' wasn't enough to describe it. There was a stark lack of muscle tone and balance. To the current Rylan, who had the memories of his past life, it was the same as being a newborn child. He felt as if even a breeze would tear him apart. There was no need to mention getting in a fight. Pretty much every enemy he had faced, even in his days as an apprentice, would be able to defeat his current self.
This cannot go on.
It wasn't too late to change, but it was late enough to make catching up to Roland extremely difficult. The Sword Saint had trained since his early teens, which had already been a late start. If he wanted results, he needed to behave differently immediately.
"Sarah."
"Yes, young master."
"Tell the soldiers that I'll be joining them in their morning drills. Also, I want to talk to the estate's head chef. Please tell him to meet me as soon as he can."
She paused and cocked her head slightly.
"Do you mean the Mages, my lord?"
He shook his head.
"No, I'm talking about the soldiers."
Sarah couldn't contain her expression. It morphed into one of pure confusion. Nevertheless, she did not go against his order. She only bowed.
"Do you want it to be done immediately, my lord?"
"Yes, as soon as possible. Don't worry about leaving me alone. I won't step out of my bedroom for the rest of the day."
She eyed him with wonder before nodding and leaving the bedroom. Rylan stared at his figure in the mirror. No matter how he looked at it, this was too much. He couldn't even be optimistic about his development. He took a deep breath, then sat down cross-legged on the floor.
The most important things that will determine my training are the differences between mana and Aura.
Even now, he couldn't feel a trace of Aura within him, nor in anyone he had met so far, but it could be that his senses were dulled. First of all, he should worry about establishing an Aura Heart, if it was at all possible. He couldn't discard the possibility that there was no Aura in this life. There was much he still didn't understand about the world.
Finally, he turned to himself and looked inward. His Mana Core reacted immediately.