I was… squeezed… three times!
Hitomi, I will remember your betrayal!
Fine, that mother-daughter duo deserved such an outcome, and honestly, it was a mild punishment. But you! You! Brutus!
Well… at least Yugao didn't join in. I believed in you, Uzuki!
After that, I was sent off to the Academy, and it seemed like the twins were mad at me.
Heh, it was actually pretty funny—when we arrived at the house, they were knocking insistently on the door, standing there with treats from Mom and the festival. I even felt a little guilty.
Had to chase after them under the amused laughter of the older generation… though, did it seem like Hana and Hitomi's laughs were a bit strained? Only Yugao was genuinely entertained.
I didn't catch them. No idea where they disappeared to, but I lost them.
Other than that, today's atmosphere in the classroom was lively—especially Sasuke's face.
Damn, even a cat stuffed with sour cream would be less smug.
The would-be avenger, who was usually pretty reserved and kept a calm expression, was now grinning ear to ear, eyes half-closed in contentment.
And that? That threw everyone into total shock.
Well, yeah, the number one pretty boy of the class…
"Thud!"
Shikamaru's head suddenly hit the desk, breaking my train of thought.
"Thunk-thunk-thunk!"
Kiba's forehead vibrated against his desk. There was no other way to describe it.
"Bam!"
Shino slammed his head into the desk in front of us.
"Number one pretty boy… I'm gonna die." Kiba groaned.
"Agreed… I already feel an unbearable pain…" Shino mumbled in his usual monotone.
"The class pretty boy, huh…?"
Shikamaru sniffled dramatically as he was the first to recover.
"Said the blue-eyed, well-built blond with a kind smile and cold eyes… seriously, does someone not have mirrors at home, or does he just never look at his reflection in the window?"
"Did I just say that out loud? And Shikamaru, what the hell was that?" I sighed.
While he gathered the strength to answer, I finished my thought.
Yeah, the class pretty boy suddenly dropped his usual persona.
And a big part of his fangirls were drawn in by that "gothic prince" aesthetic (not that anyone in this world knew that term).
So a massive reorganization was about to happen in the Sasuke Fan Army.
"Yes, you said it out loud."
"As for my previous statement—if it weren't for the three ferocious beasts in our class and the one in the younger year, someone would already have his own fan club—"
"Shikamaru, can I have a word with you?"
Ino materialized in front of our table, her gaze promising all the torments of hell to the genius.
I'm sorry, my friend. I didn't mean to.
"Troublesome." Shikamaru sighed in suffering, glancing at us.
Kiba and Shino immediately averted their eyes, leaving him to face the fury alone.
(And it wasn't like Sai and Ai's eyes weren't already locked onto him, ready to pounce!)
But I am a warrior of light, and I cannot abandon a comrade in need.
"Ino, will you share your bento with me today? I, uh, kinda forgot to bring anything."
I asked with a radiant smile, smoothly redirecting the conversation.
+500 Reputation with Nara Shikamaru. He will never forget your selflessness!
+100 Reputation with Inuzuka Kiba. Once again, you proved to Kiba that his friend is a real bro!
+2% Affection with Yamanaka Ino. Unlocked event: "Lunch Break - Survival."
…Why is everyone looking at me like I'm a dead man walking?
Excuse you, I have a Stomach of Steel!
---
Later, at lunch…
I almost choked to death on my food.
Why?
Because the memories of a dispelled clone suddenly hit me like a train.
And apparently, the clone thought it was urgent enough to let me know immediately.
I had to agree.
…And the reputation gain with a certain someone was the final blow.
---
Earlier - Naruto Uzumaki's Clone (Naruto-Alpha).
Idiocy.
Why me?
Why do I have to waste chakra on training jutsu instead of enjoying a nice, peaceful time in the library?
Naruto-Prime got lucky.
Then again, Naruto-One, who went off to absorb the brains of medical-nins, was also pretty fortunate.
…Yeah, we need to do something about the numbering.
There are only three of us, but everyone wants to be Number One!
Is this some kind of deep-seated influence from the original, canon Naruto?
Ugh, whatever, let the original deal with that headache.
Or maybe next time, we can convince someone to take Number Two?
Heh, hopefully, the next clone will develop that idea further.
At this rate, we're gonna max out our Persuasion skill to 100, and it still won't matter.
Because the Sheep status negates everything.
Alright, let's continue.
Channel chakra into my legs and step onto the wate—
Glub!
Damn it, what's wrong this time?
Walking on trees came automatically after practicing the imitation technique, just like Hana said. But what's the deal with walking on water?
— "You're channeling your chakra incorrectly."
I turn around— and see HIM!
The one I haven't seen in half a year since the last time—Danzo.
What does he want outside his dungeons?
— "Heh, did I scare you? Sorry, force of habit—silent movement and all. Here, let me show you what you're doing wrong. By the way, why aren't you in the Academy?"
— "I'm a clone. And thanks again for that lesson, Gramps Danzo!"
Yeah, he introduced himself last time. And as for calling him "Gramps"… I just keep reminding myself—I can't know who's standing in front of me! I must not act suspiciously!
And he showed me such a cool technique—not just by a child's standards or even canon Naruto's, but mine as well. So calling him "Gramps" is a reasonable move.
Besides, watching Danzo Shimura freeze for a second (before he quickly got himself under control, old bastard) was pretty amusing.
— "I see. Making full use of the technique's benefits."
— "Alright, watch—your chakra flow shouldn't be even. You need to constantly adjust it to the water, because it's never stable. See?"
He demonstrated flawless water-walking, never letting go of his cane—and even moving with its support!
…I want that kind of control. To channel a thin stream of chakra even through a cane!
— "Now try it yourself. No rush—steady. Place one foot down, feel the water's movement, adjust to it."
Placing a hand on my back (don't flinch!), Shimura guided me carefully.
Even his tone was perfect—calm, helping me focus better.
— "Much better. Now place your other foot—don't hurry. Whoa! Again," he steadied me.
— "Thanks, Gramps!"
A big, bright grin.
Huh. No stunned reaction this time.
But he definitely flinched.
Heh, I'm not the only one whose nerves are gonna need treatment later.
Still, his teaching style and the situation itself kept me sharp. Within half an hour, I could more or less stand on water.
— "Good, now steady yourself. Don't rush, no need to hurry. Keep track of the weight shift from one foot to—"
Splash.
— "Didn't I just say don't rush?" Danzo sighed.
— "Yes, Gramps Danzo!"
I climbed out of the water, radiating boundless enthusiasm, and repeated the steps more slowly this time.
No reaction.
Yeah, this veteran won't be shaken by the same trick twice.
By lunchtime, I mastered water-walking—something I had struggled with for two weeks on my own.
Damn, Danzo should teach at the Academy.
— "That's it. Well done."
He ruffled my hair.
…I almost jerked away from his hand.
— "Oh, Gramps Danzo! You're from the Hokage Tower, right? You must have been busy—sorry for interrupting!"
I played it off as sudden enthusiasm making me realize the situation.
— "No, actually."
A barely audible chuckle.
— "All those papers, stuck in a stuffy room—it's exhausting. So I take breaks sometimes. You can't work forever, right?"
…He's probably not lying. But with him, I can't be sure of anything.
— "True, but sometimes you have no choice!"
— "Alright, I'm off to the library—need to start a few more books at least. Thanks again, Gramps Danzo!"
And now, to make a natural but efficient exit.
---
Same Place.
— "Gramps, huh?"
Danzo muttered under his breath.
He had to admit… he kind of liked that word.
Everyone has their weaknesses, after all.
He'd long since won his battles, and if there was someone to entrust Konoha to, he would have stepped aside already.
If only there was someone…
Because right now, the village's shinobi were unimpressive.
Leaving the village in their hands? Terrifying.
They'd ruin everything he built over decades—sometimes with blood, not just of enemies, but his own people.
— "For smiles like that… we do what we do, right, Hiruzen?"
Danzo smirked, fully aware that his old friend was watching his stroll closely.
If an outsider had seen "Konoha's Tyrant" smiling—
Their entire worldview would have shattered.
Because while it had a slight poisonous edge, it wasn't malicious.
And that?
That was suppos
ed to be impossible, even by jounin standards.
— "Still… why did Itachi visit you?"
Danzo murmured quietly, glancing toward where the young jinchūriki had run off.
…No genjutsu on him.
Seems like he and Hiruzen were slowly turning into paranoids, Shimura thought.