The wind is blowing quite coldly today. The rays of the sun produce tinges of deep orange and yellow along the water. As the cool breeze passes by the sea, and blows upon the land, a man, no- an old man, with a face full of regrets could be seen sitting at the bench.
As he sits upon the bench, all lonely, he ponders about his life, perhaps coming to terms with the fact that he has done a lot of things in life, and has come so far, but is left with only nothing but regret.
Essentially embodying the phrase "I may have won, but at what cost?".
This man's name is
He had lived his life with much regret, and despite reaching an old age of 84, and achieving a moderate amount of success in his life, having a reputable career as a businessman, and owning a mid-sized company that was also quite reputable in its own right, his life went smoothly during his middle-aged years. But that wasn't to say that in his teenage years, it was all good and dandy either.
Despite the seething rage aimed at oneself after recalling all these times where he had regretted his actions, he managed to calm himself down. With this, he could be seen caressing something in his hand, it looks like a pendant, or perhaps an ornament that could be tied anywhere else.
It was a jade norigae.
Yi Zhi received this pendant from someone he once loved.
She was the woman he once loved, where he managed to change greatly, mostly due to Ling Shuang's influence on him, Yi Zhi managed to turn his life around for the better.
This jade norigae was given to him by Ling Shuang back when she went on a trip to Manila, Binondo, Philippines, and bought it from an antique shop, mostly because she thought of how much of an antique collector her lover was, and was sure he would appreciate the gift.
And indeed, he did.
It's been 64 years since he has received this gift, and he has greatly cherished it, partly because he values the gift highly, but mostly because of the guilt that's been weighing down on him. The guilt of not being able to do her right, letting her down, and eventually breaking her heart.
The two eventually broke up, and went on their separate ways. Ling Shuang managed to find someone else and have a good life, from what Yi Zhi last heard of her news.
All the while, Yi Zhi couldn't move on. It's not that he can't move on, but chooses not to do so. The guilt weighed down on him so much, that even until his old age, he blames himself for everything that happened between the both of them.
"Ah, this is really…"
A long silence ensued. The wind blew even more. Silence accompanied the wind. Melancholy resounded with the man's face, and despite his senescence, you could vaguely sense grief on his face.
"....I'm such a horrible person."
What broke the long silence was the old man's self-deprecating talk.
Despite the self-deprecation, what he said makes sense. If a bystander were to observe the entirety of his life, it was wrought with bad and stupid decisions here and there. Causing pain to everyone else, and causing a lot of regrets.
By now, Yi Zhi had grown weary of what life throws at him, but at the same time, he wishes to go on once more, to make up for the mistakes he made somehow. Regrets that have been eating away at his soul.
He wished to receive one more chance. But somewhere in his mind, he knew that it was too much to ask for, and even if it wasn't, it was something that would only happen in Webnovels and fantasy-genre books.
Of course, due to his old age, he was teeming with diseases. He had tuberculosis, as well as cancer.
While the cancer hasn't progressed much, it was obvious that despite his best efforts, he would not have much long to live for.
He looks at the setting sun, with eyes filled with longing and regret.
Tears drip down from his face. And with great difficulty did he find himself to speak.
The words were seemingly being choked right at his throat, and he couldn't seem to get it out.
'Too much pain has been caused.'
'Will there be even anyone left to remember me?'
After what seems like a long period of pained, muffled cries, he coughs out blood. Black blood.
"Ah, this seems grave. Hehe, hehehe, hehe, hahaha, HAHAHAHA!!"
The old man lets out a hearty laugh, with a touch of madness and insanity. He looks at his hands, stained with his blood that's colored quite grimly, somehow showing the state his body is in.
Once more, after taking a glance at his hands, he looks back at the setting sun.
It was now setting halfway through, and the orange tint enveloped the sea even more.
'Can I really… rest in peace now?', Yi Zhi thought.
As that thought passed his mind, his face that was contorted with an odd sense of insanity and grief mashed together, finally mellowed down, and instead, a pained expression replaced it.
He gazes at the horizon, the sun setting, and he cries.
"You know, I really wanted to bring you here with me, Ling Shuang."
The old man glanced at his left side of the bench, seemingly empty since the very beginning, and turned back at the setting sun again, not worried about how painful it should be for his eyes, since it's already approaching twilight.
"There's so much I wanted to do with you. But in the end, I only got as far as holding your hands." he continued, tightly gripping the norigae that his former lover gave him as he gazes longingly at the setting sun.
Tears were welling up, and it was freely flowing down the old man's face.
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry Ling Shuang… I know that it's been a long time, but this is just one thing I can't forgive myself with."
"If there was a chance perhaps, if I could turn back time, I'd make it up to you. I'm sorry, dear. I'm sorry. Perhaps, if there was another life, I would have loved doing laundry and taxes with you. Watching our kids grow up, and have a good life."
It was an odd sight. If anyone were to see it, they would inevitably try and comfort the old man. But it would be of no use.
'It was truly a life full of regrets. Regrets that had me as the very cause of it all. If time could be rewound, I'd do things differently. Vastly different from how it's supposed to be.'
As the old man gazes at the sunset once more, gripping his norigae tightly, seemingly as an act of desperation, he closes his eyes, and takes his last breath, while the breeze carries his soul away along with it.
He has passed away. And in a seemingly peaceful manner at that.
Now, an old man's body could be seen lifeless, sitting on a bench by the sea. With an expression that was wrought with pain, far different than most people who meet their end peacefully.
A voice rung out, seemingly from nowhere, despite the empty streets, no one could be seen yet the voice could clearly be heard.
"The karmic cycles are intertwining once more. Can you finally resolve all your regrets this time?"
A figure, clad in white, steps out of the void, touching the old man's head, as if patting a child. And turns its sights onto the norigae Yi Zhi held so tightly in his hands.
"So it was here all along, no wonder why I tried so hard to find that wavering connection, yet it always drew me back to you."
The figure takes the norigae, and somehow imbues something in it, perhaps, an 'essence', is what you can call it.
"Now, do your best, and resolve all the grievances in your life, so that the karmic cycles will finally end, and that everyone will achieve a happy ending". Despite being clad in white, looking at this seemingly human-like figure, you could somewhat tell that it's smiling, perhaps, it's wearing an expression of relief and amusement.
And then, the human-like figure slices open the void once more, and steps back into it, as if seemingly nothing has happened.
As the sun fully sets, the remaining rays of light shine upon the jade norigae Yi Zhi had, and it began to tremble violently.
The traces of weathering were seemingly coming off along with its violent vibrations, its vibrations producing a somewhat systematic hum, sounding like that of a mantra.
Namo ratna-trayāya,
Namaḥ āryāmitābhāyā,
Tathāgatāyārhate samyak-saṃbuddhāya, tad yathā,
Oṃ amṛte amṛtodbhave amṛta-saṃbhave amṛta-garbhe,
The zephyr blowing from the cool sea came to a halt, and everything started to flow in reverse, yet somehow centered around the old man. The skies seemingly darkening and bellowing out a storm. Streaks of stars were running wild in the heavens and could be seen rampaging around in the sky, the skies were starting to flow omni-directionally, but somehow, there is a sense of it where it somehow is saying that it is going back to where it once started, converging at the very origin.
Amṛta-siddhe amṛta-teje amṛta-vikrānte,
Amṛta-vikrānta-gāmine amṛta-gagana-kīrti-kare,
The norigae that was tampered with earlier started to float, its engravings on the
Amṛta-dundubhi-svare sarvārtha-sādhane,
Sarva-karma-kleśa-kṣayaṃ-kare svāhā.
These details were usually unnoticeable, and such unique qualities were only brought forward when the figure did something to the jade norigae.
Then suddenly, that chants came to a halt. The heavens fell silent. The wind was no more. The waves of the seas that were as high as 5-storeys, as a result of the odd— no, bizarre phenomena occurring due to Yi Zhi, somehow stopped, as if standing in place. In this space, where time seemingly has no power over, only the norigae somehow was retaining its normal sense of time and space.
Just when things seemed like it would end,
-FLASH!
The weak streaks of light that were leaking out the norigae earlier somehow came bursting forth, like a nuclear bomb's explosion, and one were to notice it right at the very core.
Everything was enveloped in a blinding light.
After that happened, Yi Zhi was nowhere to be seen, leaving no traces behind.
***
- BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
A familiar ceiling greeted the young man's face. The sun's rays struck his face as he lazily lies down on the bed, still groggy from the nap. It was Yi Zhi, seemingly returned back in time.
2018, May 4 | 3: 47 PM
However, today, as Yi Zhi woke up, he deviated from the norms that he usually followed as a child. But to Yi Zhi however, this was natural, having grown old.
'What a messy bed. The kids of this household seriously don't keep things clean, just how lazy must they all be?'
Letting out a disappointed sigh, he got on his feet and started tidying up the bed, stretched his bones, and went out the veranda for some fresh air.
It was afternoon, a Saturday afternoon. A young man who only thinks of playing around all day, with seemingly nothing to do has come out of his room with a fresh new aura at this moment.
'Wait, why does this place look so familiar? Am I dreaming right now?', as Yi Zhi thought of that, only did he start to notice things.
The nostalgic scent of food wafting in the kitchen, the guava tree right in their front yard, the clucking of chickens, and the sunset that tainted the world yellow.
It was afternoon of the May 4th, 2018. Yi Zhi has regressed, back to 2018, back to where it all began.
He now has gained the second chance he desperately wanted in his entire life.