Asking Asher out on a date was a bold move, but judging by his expression, it was nothing new to him. He was used to girls asking him out—I knew this firsthand, thanks to Nurse Vanessa. Maybe it had been a little desperate on my part. A casual coffee invitation would've been better. But my brain had never functioned properly in moments like that. I supposed I could just blame it on a slip of the tongue, even though it wasn't. At least that way, I could hold onto some dignity—if only in my own eyes.
After that day, I never brought up the date again. Not once. Then, yesterday, out of nowhere, I got a text from him: I'm free tomorrow. At first, I thought he was joking, teasing me for my straightforward approach. So I just replied with a simple Cool. But this morning, he texted again: Send me the location. I'll be free by 5:30.
And just like that, I realized—I had a date at 5:30.
---
Aiden brings me my latte, as always, along with a pancake, placing it on the counter as I glance up at him.
"I don't remember ordering a pancake as well," I say.
"You should remember to order pancakes from now on," he replies, adjusting his apron.
"And why's that?"
"Because I'm making it, and you're going to love it, trust me," he grins.
"I guess you just love to try new things," I say, taking a bite of the pancake. Within a moment, it melts in my mouth. It's so soft, and the taste is unbelievably good that, for a second, I can't believe it's just a pancake.
"So, pancake with a latte from now on?" he asks, looking at me.
"Done. But only if you're making it," I say, chewing on my heavenly pancakes.
As I look around the cafe, there aren't many people, so I guess Aiden isn't too busy. I'm about to ask him a rather ridiculous question. I'm ready to be judged, but I can't ask anyone else. Aiden always has satisfactory answers, never disappointing me. He has this allergy to giving basic or straightforward answers, and that fascinates me.
"Have you ever been on a date before?" I ask, trying to sound casual and avoiding any eye contact. Aiden looks up at me and gives me a side-eye. I pretend I didn't notice it or his smirk.
"Yeah, all the time," he answers.
"All the time?" I ask, surprised.
"You know those pretty girls who come here to drink coffee and stare at the handsome waiter? After finishing their coffee, they leave their numbers on the tissue for him. It's just cruel not to accept them," he says, making an innocent puppy face while leaning over the counter.
"Yeah, it must be hard not to," I say bluntly, looking at him. He nods dramatically.
"You must know a lot about dates, then," I say.
"Of course, everything," he replies.
"What's a date, actually?" I ask, finally, realizing it's a ridiculous question even before I ask it.
"C'mon, if you're doing something, you should at least know what it means, right?" I say, but before he answers, someone calls him. He goes to take the order. I wait for him to come back, finishing my latte and the rest of my pancakes.
When he returns, he tells one of the other workers to take the order and sits beside me on the stool.
"Rae, a date is a form of communication, either by action or words, where you spend a good time with someone you truly want to know. You get to know each other as you spend time together. For me, almost all of my dates are memorable, even if they didn't work out. It's a memorable experience for a lifetime," he explains.
"So, what should one do on their first date?" I ask.
"Start with coffee so it won't be too awkward. Avoid too crowded or too quiet places—something in between. Ask him what he likes, what his favorite places are. Just questions like that. If you like him enough to want another date, just ask him when he's free again, or he'll ask you. It's better if he asks, though," he says.
"Okay," I reply, staring at him.
"Just make conversation with him, Rae. You're good at it," he pats my shoulder and walks back to the counter.
---
I get a call from him at 5:30. I was expecting it. I answer the call as I glance at the buildings over the river.
"Hello," he says.
"Yeah."
"I'm off," he says.
"That's good," I reply, sensing confusion in his tone.
"Where are you?"
"On our date spot," I answer, trying to hold my laugh.
"Where?"
"Hodon River," I say.
I hear a slight chuckle from the other side.
"I'll be there in 10 minutes," he says.
As he promised 10 minutes, he arrives in 12. I've been keeping track of each minute until I see him walking toward me. I know he saw me, but I wave at him like an old woman.
"Hodon River, huh?" he says, looking around with amusement.
"Yeah," I grin.
"What happened?" he asks, but I can't help but laugh.
"I thought you wouldn't come," I admit, still trying to stop myself from smiling.
"Why would I not?" he asks.
"I just couldn't picture you standing across the Hodon River," I say, studying his expression.
He smiles a little.
"Let's go sit somewhere," I suggest. We sit down, facing the huge buildings across the river.
"It's nice here," he says, taking a look around.
"Yesterday, I went to see apartments near this area, and the landlord of one of them told me that if I rent the apartment with the balcony view of the river, it'll cost me an additional $1,000," I say.
"That's a lot for a single view," he says.
"Yeah, I thought the same until I saw the view. It was beautiful," I say, looking at the apartment building. I can see my balcony from here.
"You see that building?" I ask, pointing at it.
"Yeah," he replies, following my finger.
"The 8th floor, there. That's my apartment," I say, a smile spreading across my face just by saying "my apartment," even though it's rented. It feels like my own place.
"When I was standing there, looking exactly where we're sitting right now, I thought how nice it would be to just sit here," I say.
"Did you move?" he asks.
"Not yet, but soon," I reply.
"Moving in is a big thing. At first, everything just seems empty, and then, suddenly, it feels like a big deal," he says.
"But trust me, moving to a new place always works out. It's like a turning point in life," he adds.
"Was it a turning point for you?" I ask.
"It was. A very big one," he replies, his eyes looking at the river.
I hand him the coffee I bought for both of us, just like Aiden suggested. With the coffee, the moment feels less awkward. The noise of cars, people, and kids running around feels like background noise, mixed in so naturally that it isn't annoying, just comforting.
"How are your dreams lately?" he asks.
"The same, but now it's a relief because I'm used to them," I answer, trying to sound casual.
"To tell you the truth, I was quite disturbed when you stopped seeing me after that day. I kept thinking, 'What did I do wrong? Did I say something wrong? Or did I hurt you in any way?'" he says.
I don't even know how to answer him. Should I tell him the truth? That the person in my dreams is him? That he's the one who haunts my dreams? But here I am, sitting across from him, making real memories. So I can comfort the girl in my dreams who always wanted him to notice her. If I didn't, I wouldn't have come to the river for this date in the first place. There's still a slight fear in my heart—what if he walks away again, like he always does in my dreams? No matter how many times I call him, he just disappears.
"I'm sorry about that, but the hospital was making me anxious. Just thinking about the accident made me uncomfortable," I lie. Telling the truth is never the option, but maybe someday, when we get closer, I'll tell him. I have a good feeling about it.
"I can understand," he says, nodding.
"The hospital makes me anxious sometimes, too," he adds.
"Why is that?" I ask.
"Well, it may sound strange, but sometimes I just stare blankly, and it makes me think it's the end of my dream. I've achieved everything I wanted in life, and there's nothing left to do. Now I just have to keep living aimlessly," he says, his words making me think about my own life too. I've achieved everything I wanted, and now I wonder what's next. I'll wake up every day, go to Artemis, have the same meetings with the same people. I'll paint a lot, but besides that, it feels like... nothing. Just blank.
"It's funny how we still have to live for 50 more years, just doing the same things," I say.
"Exactly," he nods.
"But there's one thing that's my biggest dream, so I guess I can live for it," I say, my eyes shining when I think about the dream I've had since I was 15.
"Really? You still have something to achieve?" he asks, turning toward me.
"Yeah, I do," I reply.
"What is it, if you're comfortable telling me?"
"Well, don't take it as something to talk about on a first date, but it's just something I've always wanted," I say, making sure he doesn't get the wrong idea. I don't want to scare him on our first date.
His gaze intensifies, making my stomach churn.
I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and say, looking down, "I want to be a mother."
"A mother of a girl," I add, then look up at him. He just keeps staring at me blankly, as if he has no words left.
"It's been my dream since I was 15. I guess that's what's kept me going all these years," I glance away, feeling a bit exposed. "I'm disappointed that I never thought about having children before," he says, surprising me.
"Really?" I ask, taken aback.
"It feels like I was just selfish, thinking only about myself," he laughs to himself.
"We can't just call it selfish," I say, "sometimes we get caught up in our own lives, and it's hard to think about anything else. And you're still very young to have children..."
"Am 33," he interrupts.
"Not very young then," I tease, and he laughs with me.
Suddenly, his face turns thoughtful as he looks at the sky. "Now my vision seems bigger," he says. "What I was doing wrong was only thinking about myself. But now, thinking about the people around me... it all seems so big, so interesting."
"It's weird how we're talking about children on literally our first date," I say, smiling.
"Why's that weird?" he asks. "Having clarity in life is definitely not weird. Not for me."
"And for a long time now, I've wanted a pet, but I can't decide," he adds. "Having a pet is a lot like having a toddler at home."
"Then you should get one," I reply.
"I just can't decide between a dog or a cat."
"A cat. A ragdoll," I say, almost without thinking, turning to him.
He scans my face for a second before sitting up straight. "You like it?"
"I'm dying to have a ragdoll cat," I confess. "But Lily's allergic, so I never had the chance. I could only dream of it."
"What's the benefit of having a cat?" he asks.
"Are you kidding me? Who gets pets for benefits?" I laugh, incredulity in my voice.
"I do," he answers, deadpan.
His seriousness makes me scoff. "Well, what benefits are you expecting from those poor voiceless animals?" I tease.
"Protection," he says. "If it's a dog, it'll protect me and cheer up my mood."
"I bet you don't even go home most of the time," I counter.
"That's true," he admits.
"And what about its food? Are you planning to leave the dog alone in your apartment? It'll ruin everything until you get home. Torn sofas and papers everywhere," I laugh.
"That's bad," he says, deep in thought.
"So, you're saying a cat wouldn't do that?" he asks.
I sit up straighter, excited to talk about cats. "Well, that's the specialty of cats. They're self-sufficient and do almost everything on their own. They're calm, never violent, and even if they want to play, they don't cause damage like dogs. They love to sleep next to their owner and keep them warm in the winter. Even though you failed to find a partner to cuddle with, don't worry, a cat will do it. Once you get a cat, you won't need anyone else because they'll keep you busy and entertained. Cats love their owners if they're calm and kind, but dogs will only like you because you feed them. They won't even let you feel alone because cats love to pretend they understand everything you say."
I glance at him and find him looking at me with a pleasant expression. His calm attention makes my brain rush, and I suddenly feel shy, so I quickly look away.
"I'll get it," he says.
"The cat."