There was a wierd pounding on my door
My breaths were heavy and the tranquil night was cold, moon up high tho the person outside was in an uproar.
Destroying the tranquility and peace all the more.
Probably it was the foul stench of cigarette that bought their attention, because it was a first that I was using nicotine to release my tention.
I puffed out the smoke from my lungs and looked at the door. Musing to myself now that my peace was gone.
"Why are you knocking, why do you even care? Maybe because of the shame that I will bring you? Maybe because of the filthy rumors it'll raise, now that I am caught smoking in here so late?"
"The society is wrecked but so am I and so are you. For the eternity the society found things to shun you about, and you found things and shunned. Because I was always a disappointment when I was being me. Just a foul regret for you when I was not being the goody-two-shoes"
"I won't say you didn't care, you most certainly did. But fretting over me was all you ever did. Like I couldn't do it, like I wouldn't make it there. No matter what I did, I was met with despair. Life became tedious, each breath sting and things you hated in me became dear to me."
"I won't say you didn't love me, because I know you did. But why would you then make it so hard for me? I know you had it rough. I know you weren't you free, under the hand of his merciless tyranny."
"I know you fought for us and I slowed you down, you had a life and I was a burden. I told you to live free tho I knew you couldn't. Not with me hanging on your ends. If you didn't had me, your life would be better. You could have gotten rid of me but you didn't."
"I just wish you knew it was also hard for me, but you couldn't. You all made it harder, harder to live, harder to breathe. To the point giving up became easy for me . I don't blame you. I know I don't have the right to."
"But I can't also fight anymore for you. Fight from my demons, fight from my fears. Just so you can live with me many more years..."
Every single knock and every single yell, was met with silent answers they couldn't comprehend.
But every passing minute, they'll be aware.
Of my body hanging from ceiling in here....
–By Shichan