Vanessa's POV
The cab ride was terribly silent. Claire and I hardly said a word; each of us sought her own privacy in the maze of thoughts resultant from all that happened in the fight: the yelling, my dad almost choking Sam out… It sounded unreal. The tightness around my chest hadn't worn out yet, and I could not catch my breath, still in the middle of the chaos.
By the time we got to Claire's, we weren't even talking about it anymore. Her apartment was silent, almost balm enough for our ears from chaos and away from angry people screaming at one another.
"Where's Richmond?" I asked.
"He should be at the games," Claire answered.
"Oh, I didn't know there was a game today," I answered.
"Why? Do you suddenly have an interest in my baby brother?" Claire joked and we laughed.
"Two players for one lady. I must have the biggest luck ever," I replied.
"I'll get us something to eat. Do you want anything else?" Claire said as she flung her bag toward the couch facing the bed.
I shrugged numbly. "Anything is good."
She gave me a small smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Okay. Give me a minute. I'll be right back."
She was gone, and I was left to stare at the ceiling waiting. I breathed slowly, and fell on the bed, feeling tired about everything. The last hour kept replaying in my mind. I couldn't shake the scene of the fight, my father's rage, Sam's arrogant look, his lunge toward me and Dad losing his temper. I had never seen my Dad that way before.
"Thanks a lot, Sam," I murmured. I hated the possibility of Sam ever returning to our lives. He was a lot of work and I could never forget how Dad struggled to build everything he destroyed. Why couldn't he just let us be?
Getting up from the bed, I paced back and forth waiting for Claire.
What was taking her so long?
I continued pacing until I stopped in front of her dressing table. My reflection stared back at me in the mirror. Moving my hand on my hair combing the scattered strands in place, I noticed the drawer.
The design was a piece of art and I found myself touching the wood. I noticed the last drawer was opened slightly, and a shiny pink stuff caught my attention.
I knew I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it. It would be better to kill my boredom if I was going to wait longer for Claire to get here.
I pulled the drawer open and picked up the book. It was a diary with Claire's name written with sparkles on the front cover. I carefully lifted the diary, admiring it.
It was small, catchy on the eyes. I had seen it with Claire once or twice, writing her heart out, but the minute she noticed my presence, she would hide it away. I was tempted to go through it. I wanted to know her thoughts.
Did she have a crush? Or something exciting I didn't know? Oh my gosh! This is exciting!
I flipped it open, reading the first few lines that seemed harmless enough. It was Claire writing about her day, and some random thoughts. I laughed when she cussed Vincent, the class clown who always got on her nerves. I felt the same about him.
I flipped through the pages and my eyes caught on something new.
"I saw him today. He didn't mean to look at me that way, but he did. And for a moment, I thought maybe, just maybe, he felt it too. The way I feel when he's near me. When his presence fills up the whole room."
My heart had fallen into my stomach. I paled, rereading words. Him? Whom was she talking about? Was this some guy at college?
I turned the page. The truth struck me like a blow.
"I shouldn't be feeling this. I know it's wrong, but I can't help it. I am his best friend's daughter—the kid who had always been here. I can't explain the sparks I feel whenever he smiles at me. I shouldn't feel this way. I have tried to let it go. I love him. I love Rawl."
I couldn't breathe. The world suddenly became smaller and tighter, and I was suffocating in it. I kept reading, unable to stop myself.
"I hate myself for this. But I cannot stop it. I thought I could, but every time I see him, he speaks to me, and he looks at me… I feel like I'm drowning in something I cannot escape."
I was shaking, my brain wanting to understand what I had just read. Disbelieving, my eyes were riveted to that page. Claire loves my Dad? How could she? How long has this been going on? Why didn't she tell me?
I heard the creak of the door opening. My stomach somersaulted, and I slapped the diary shut in a rush, flinging it back onto the table as Claire stepped into the room, grocery bags clutched in her hands.
"I got the food. The fridge was empty so I had to…" Claire froze as her eyes settled on the table.
Her eyes widened and she slowly turned her gaze towards me. "Vanessa… you didn't."
"Did I? Or was it left out for me to find?" My voice cut cold as I stood, staring at her furiously.
I didn't have to hide my feelings anymore, and I picked up the diary, shoving it to her face as I asked. "Do you mind explaining what I just read?" I asked.
She stayed silent, her hands letting go and the groceries dropped to the floor. Her face turned pale and she gulped.
"V…Vanessa…please, I…I can explain," she stuttered.
"Explain?" I chuckled.
"How long, Claire?" I spat. "How long have you had feelings for my father?"
Her eyes widened, and she stumbled over her words. "I… I didn't mean for it to happen, Vanessa. I swear, I didn't want this. I never planned it."