The air is still, ahh... Why is the air so still, is it the blood loss that's giving me a cold or is it the air that's freezing my blood? Ahhh... Am I dead? I don't think so, there is no God waiting for me. Is God a liar or am I a stupid freak?

(lying on the snow, putting his hand on the wound on his stomach) Why did I lie down on the ground, I don't want to sleep, I don't want to die... At least I wanted to die screaming my hatred for God... It's hard to breathe and my eyes are closed, for the first time I can have a good sleep.

Ahhh. Here he is, come help.

:- Stop

What happened?

:- He has no insurance, he's just a breathing freak. You're right, the state hospital will send a team soon.

(vomiting blood) Hahahahaha... HAHAHAHAHAHAH. I'm drowning in my own blood and the cruel world sends me to my death because I don't have insurance.

Is the afterlife really necessary for justice?

God you are wrong... This world is a Hell on its own. (in a tearful and painful voice) I hate you, I even condemn you. I resist to live because I have no purpose, and I never had a purpose. All my life I have lived to hate you! You made the world cruel. If it weren't for your false beliefs, no one would live in a world like this. I hope to be with you soon (he said and closed his eyes)

The year 2073, New York, New Year's Eve, 10:13 p.m.

I opened my eyes in a place I never wanted to be. I wasn't dead, I was involuntarily hospitalized and near death. My meeting with God seems to have been postponed, (emotionless expression and tears flowing from still eyes) Why didn't you kill me? To think yourself merciful and bring me back from the dead after making me like this? Don't console yourself with that. My God... I think you are the one I hate the most and my best friend. The days went by like water and for 2 months when it rained I watched the raindrop stick to the glass and slowly fall to the ground. Yes I did just that, the drop gave up and slowly floated under the window. Just like people, I soon left the hospital and came to the front of my old house. I sat on the stairs of my house, I was outside. I'm a person in my 30s living alone, it's funny to call me a person. It was dark, two months ago, my house in hours

I am not someone who is tired of life and suicidal, I am just not someone who is attached to life and clinging to life. The years I have lost are just a waste of time for living, the words "it was better" don't mean anything to me. I grew up an orphan and spent every day questioning God and my own life, God I hate you (sincere grin) ahhh... I think it's night, I need to sleep, not that it matters (enters the house and falls into a deep sleep).