Alystra watched as the stranger left her room, her uncle following soon after. A strange sensation of loss wrenched at her chest and her breathing threatened to stop again.
She took several deep breaths as Dumar had shown her and managed to get control of herself again.
Something grabbed her wrist and held it tight. Alystra looked to see the doctor had a bowl beneath her arm and her small knife poised over the tender flesh of her forearm.
"Hold still, now," the doctor said.
Alystra stared at her and saw a strange expression on her face. Waves of delight and exuberance flowed from her as if she was about to enjoy cutting her.
Alystra wrenched her arm free of the woman's grasp and scooted away from her.
"Highness!" The woman cried in shock. "You need treatment."
"Not your kind of treatment!" Alystra snapped. "Not from you."
"Majesty," the woman pleaded. "Can you not make her see sense?"
"If my daughter refuses that is her right as my daughter and a member of the royal house," her mother said. "Gather your items and depart."
Alystra watched as the surgeon slammed items back in her bag and slapped it closed. She shot both women a nasty look as she left, hate and dismay flowing from her and into Alystra.
"Mama?" Alystra said in a small voice, holding her arms out.
Shock, wariness and hope flared in her mother as she stepped forward and enfolded her in a warm hug.
Alystra felt safe and warm in her mother's embrace and wondered why she had denied herself this feeling for so long. Her mother rocked her as she cooed soothing words and cried softly.
"What has happened?" Her mother eventually asked.
"I...I do not know," Alystra admitted. "Yet when I watched…Dumar...kill the Dal...something odd happened. I fell, then it was if I was able to feel again. Not just the emotions of others...but my own as well."
"Alystra, are you telling me your emotions have truly returned?" Her mother asked with hope radiating from her in waves.
"I-I think so, mama," Alystra said.
"Dawa be praised!" She said, grabbing her daughter again.
Alystra basked in the delight and joy that exploded from her mother as she let herself be cared for.
"How do you feel yourself?" Her mother asked.
"It is difficult to describe," Alystra admitted. "My feelings are mixed with yours as well and all this is new so I am unaware of how I feel. Better than I did earlier, certainly," Alystra said. "We need a new doctor!"
"That we do," Celouise agreed with a chuckle.
***
Alystra stood close to her mother as the family crowded around the newborn prince. The waves of emotion flowing from everyone were confusing and mixed.
Pride and joy flowed from her uncle Kalabar, while her aunt was distracted by concern and fear, probably for the future of her new son. Similar feelings came from her mother, making Alystra wonder what she was thinking.
"He is beautiful, Narine," her mother said as Alystra examined the newborn.
There was little beauty in the red-faced thing that snuffled and grunted in her aunt's arms.
The new prince was squashed and misshapen, nose flattened by the recent birth and the few spindly hairs sprouting from his head were strange, almost like insect legs to her mind.
Even stranger to the princess was the wash of warmth that flooded her chest at the sight of the ugly little thing.
He is hideous, so why do I love him so? Alystra wondered. Is it simply because he is my family?
"Have you chosen a name yet?" Her mother asked.
Narine looked from the queen to her husband, who nodded.
"We were hoping to call him Jarhine if it was a boy?" Her aunt said, hope flowing from her.
A flash of emotion hit Alystra, much of it from her mother but some from inside herself. Pride, happiness and a twinge of sadness at the thought of her father.
"Oh, Kalabar, it would mean so much to have him called so!" Her mother cried, tears starting to flow.
"Mama!" Marthon called as she released the hand of the large man who had led her here.
Alystra's eyes were immediately drawn to Dumar and a flash of something strange shot through her.
Almost like fright, the emotion was gone as soon as it came, replaced by a warmth that she could not understand either.
I have no reason to be scared of Dumar. She thought. Nor feel warmth towards him. These emotions are strange and new. I do not like them.
Even so, they remained but Alystra managed to push them aside for now, concentrating on the newborn before her.
Prince Jarhine. Alystra thought. I wish the best for you.
Shocking and abrupt fear gripped her as she realised the fate of this helpless little boy was likely to be short and painful. Tears formed at the thought of what Malthrom might do to someone so small and helpless.
"We cannot allow it!" She shouted, all heads turning to look at her.
The princess felt a flush of heat warming her face and something unpleasant spread through her chest. A clenching like fright but subtly different.
Am I...embarrassed?
"Alystra?" Her mother asked. "Aly, are you all right?"
"Yes, mother," Alystra managed. "Please excuse me."
"Alystra?" The queen called as she fled the room.
The princess made her way through the palace, heading for a spot she had found long ago, a forgotten garden, unused and overgrown.
She settled herself on a stone bench and folded over her knees, holding her head and rocking gently. The soft crunch of feet on the gravel path brought her head up and she saw a long line of green clothing through the blur of tears.
The sensation of falling gripped her for a moment, her stomach turning and nerves shooting through her.
"Is it okay for me to be here?" Dumar asked, his deep voice resonant and powerful.
"You do not need my permission," Alystra said.
"No but if you'd rather be alone?" Dumar said.
"No, you can stay."
"It's peaceful here," Dumar observed. "A secluded haven away from all the fuss."
"That is why I like it," Alystra said, relaxing a little. "No one seems to come here."
Dumar looked about at the overgrown bushes and unkempt grass, the border hedges that had not been pruned or shaped for years.
A statue of a winged girl, wispy and thin, peered from within one shrub to stare at them with a winsome expression.
"Why do I feel so calm when you are near?" Alystra asked without knowing she was about to.
She watched Dumar shrug his wide shoulders and look away.
"Could be any number of things," he said. "I helped with your brother."
At the mention of Saruline, a deep ache spread in Alystra's chest.
I stabbed him! Through the chest and killed him! Ah, Dawa, it hurts.
"I killed that Dal thing that took your dad," Dumar went on.
Her pain doubled as she finally realised her father had really gone.
You have known this for eighty years! She thought. But not felt it.
"And helped when you couldn't breathe earlier," he added. "There's something we call hero worship back home," he said.
"And no I don't think I'm any kind of hero before you say anything but I have been there for some important moments recently. Maybe that's it?"
"Maybe," Alystra said, knowing in her heart it was not. "I am having some difficulty with these new feelings I am having," she added, candidly.
"Yeah, I imagine that's hard. I struggle with mine sometimes," Dumar admitted.
"You?" Alystra asked. "You seem so calm. I am still unable to sense any emotions from you."
"Well I suppose I wasn't meant to have any," Dumar said, continuing when the princess looked at him.
"I was...designed?" He asked, as if she knew what he was talking about. "Manufactured, built, bred, I suppose, to be an emotionless killer.
"I was supposed not to feel anything but I do. Not much, admittedly but sometimes they come on so strong it nearly stops me dead."
Alystra let out a breath she had not known she was holding.
He understands. She thought with relief.
"Maybe that is the reason I get no feelings from you," Alystra said. "How is it possible to build a person?" She asked after a few seconds' thought.
"That," Dumar said looking into her eyes. "Is an excellent question.. I don't pretend to know how they did it exactly but they took traits from several animal types and put them in me.
"For added strength, better hearing and eyesight, faster reaction times and God knows what else," he shrugged.
"Was it some kind of magical ability such as Grethron holds?"
"In a manner of speaking, I suppose it could be seen as magic," Dumar said, scratching his cheek. "Technically it's called science but it'd look like magic to some."
"We have scientists here," Alystra said excitedly. "Maybe you could consult one?"
"After seeing what your 'doctor' was about to do to you I doubt any of them would be able to help me."
"You think us backward?" The princess asked, annoyance grabbing at her.
"In certain aspects, yes," Dumar said honestly. "But in others, no. We don't have anything like magic, necromancy, back home. Telepathic creatures either," he added.
Alystra realised in talking to Dumar her feelings had subsided a little, the fear over her new cousin's future seemed more positive now and she felt something new warm her inside.
Gratitude? She wondered.
It was odd to Alystra, the difference between the emotions she felt from others and those she now felt herself. Her own feelings and emotions were raw and new, like skin exposed to the sun for too long.
Those she felt from others were muted and less intense like whispers on a breeze in comparison.
"Well, I'm getting hungry," Dumar said. "I'm off to find something to scrounge, coming?"
"Scrounge?" Alystra asked, puzzled.
Dumar smiled, the expression lighting his face and making something clench deep inside her.
What is this? Something new? I like it. She thought as she linked her arm through his.
Alystra could feel the heat of vitality radiating from Dumar as she walked beside him, the subtle shift of muscle beneath his clothing and the oddly satisfying smell he gave off.
For some reason she did not understand, her fingers twitched with the need to feel his skin, to touch him and smell him, to taste him.
Taste him? She wondered. Why?
Once again, no answers came to her and a frustrated ache plagued her chest and belly the more she thought about him.
"I thank you, Lord Dumar, for this escort," Alystra said. "Yet there is someone I must consult. I will speak to you soon," she added, pulling her arm from his.
Dumar turned to look at her with a strange look of confusion.
"Of course," he said. "Another time."