As she closed her eyes, all she could see was endless darkness. It stretched infinitely, a suffocating abyss that felt both oppressive and oddly familiar. The silence was deafening, broken only by the rhythmic pounding of her heart, which seemed to echo in the void. Time lost meaning as she sat there, consumed by the overwhelming emptiness, until something shifted.
A faint glimmer appeared in the distance, a delicate thread of light. It was fragile, trembling against the darkness, yet it beckoned her. Desperate, she rose to her feet, her legs shaking but she remained resolute. Her heart pounded with hope as she chased after it, her breathing hurried as she moved frantically towards the light, its warmth a promise of salvation. Yet, the harder she pursued, the farther it drifted, mocking her efforts.
Exhausted, she collapsed onto the nothingness beneath her feet. The space around her felt hollow, but it was nothing compared to the hollowness inside her soul. She sat there, knees drawn to her chest, the weight of self-blame and loathing pressing her down like an anchor. as she whispered to herself, "Even the light refuses to let me embrace it."
She lingered in that pit of despair, sinking deeper into the shadows of her thoughts. Suddenly, a voice cut through the silence. It wasn't loud, but it was firm and unyielding, like a beacon in the night.
"He's waiting for you. You have to carry on."
Confused, she blinked into the darkness. "Who's waiting for me?" she whispered, her voice cracking with desperation.
The voice replied, calm and steady, "Catch the light if you want to find out. This is your space, your darkness. You created it. You deprived yourself of the light, and as long as you keep running from yourself, it will remain beyond your reach."
The words struck her like a thunderclap, and the voice faded, leaving her alone once more. Her thoughts swirled chaotically, memories flashing like jagged shards of glass. She remembered betrayal, the way her love went wrong and the way her best friend, the person she trusted most, had tricked and abandoned her. She saw herself by the roadside, cold and alone, every shred of dignity stripped away from her by her own thought's..
Other memories followed, unrelenting in their cruelty, how her uncle and his family died in a car crash and She saw herself giving endlessly to others, only to receive nothing in return. She saw her parents, who had been her greatest source of love and strength, taken from her in a tragic accident. That moment had shattered her world, leaving her adrift in grief and despair, but she thought she found hope in her fiance's arms so she spent all her energy on him, helped him gather resources and worked for him tirelessly but he still betrayed her as if they were nothing true.
Through her tears, a realization dawned. It was as if her life had been watched and planned but for all it's worth, "I finally understand. I can only love myself before asking for love, especially from people who are unworthy of me"