"You didn't answer my question," I said, brushing a lock of hair from her forehead. "Why will they all be girls?"
Amara had her eyes closed, a look of contentment on her face. Hearing my question, she cracked open an eyelid and asked, "Why indeed?"
Looking at her expression, I could tell she was waiting for me to beg for an answer; I wasn't keen on giving her the benefit of doubt. I lightly tapped my forehead against hers. "This is serious, Amara. If you know something, out with it."
Amara sighed and leaned back. Both of her eyes were open, and she regarded me with a look of seriousness. I waited for her to begin.
"Me and Titania were not a coincidence." She said. "Just check your Favorability meter; what does it say now?"
I took a quick glance and almost felt my eyes pop out.
Summons (2/2)
[Amara - SSS]
Favorability: 50% (Romantic Interest)Power Sync: -87.78%
[Titania - A]
Favorability: 20% (Friendly)Power Sync: -87.78%
"No fucking way..."
I couldn't form the words to describe the feelings that threatened to take form. I knew the type of person I was—not some righteous samaritan but certainly not a lecherous cretin. And even the mere idea of forcing someone into accepting my feelings made me feel appalled.
"But this is just so wrong..."
I had at most expected it to act as a reassurance when it came to my Summons loyalty. But this new increase had betrayed all my expectations.
"What does it say?" Amara repeated. Though looking at her face, I knew she already had some idea. I tried to find a trace of disgust or even just distaste in general. I found nothing.
Somehow that revelation turned my stomach into knots, fear and apprehension threatening to take hold. Even my dragon heart, normally a don't-give-a-fuck type of inner voice, remained silent. I could no longer hold it in.
The silver-haired vampire listened to my words without a change in her expression. And nodded when I had finished iterating.
"There you have it," she said. "So, unless you happen to also prefer boys, there will be none in your future summons."
I was taken aback, unable to make sense of her words.
"Amara, this is serious." I grit my teeth. "This thing could be manipulating you or something. Does that not make you feel anything? The fact that your feelings for me could be fake."
When I expected her to question herself, I was instead offered a shrug. "I understand where you are coming from," she said. "But let me make it clear one last time: don't weigh my feelings based on some arbitrary measure your origin provides you with, alright? Nothing can force me to develop feelings for someone I don't want to."
"That's it!" I insisted. "Maybe the fact that you're feeling this way is a result of your feelings already being tempered."
I hated it. I hated the fact that the one person I loved might be acting under the influence of my desires or that of the one who had bestowed these powers upon me. Could I even trust her feelings at this point? Could I trust her?
"Mark." Amara tried to put a reassuring hand on my shoulder, but I batted it away. Everything just felt wrong.
"Markus!" She shouted, forcing me to turn to her. "Trust. Me." She enunciated each word.
But...
"How can I trust you, Amara, when I can't even trust myself?"
Maybe this was all my fault. Maybe if I had been a selfish human being who sought strength above all else, then maybe I could accept this, accept her. But I wasn't. No matter how I tried to play it, I would never be the one to force myself upon others. I just couldn't.
This was all that dragon's fault. Maybe it thought it was doing me a favor, but that didn't discount the fact that it had basically saddled me with a group of women brainwashed to follow my commands.
Would Titania be next? What about the ones that come after her? Would they too be forced to live a life against their wishes? To follow desires with a smile on their faces because they loved me?
"You said I took a part of your soul; maybe this is because of that?" I bobbed my head at the realization. "Yeah, that could be it."
"I thought you were a better man than this." Amara spoke, disappointment evident on her face. "Stronger man."
But her words didn't matter. Her feelings didn't matter. Because they weren't hers!
"Are you really this insecure?" She looked hurt. Seeing that expression on her face tore a hole in my heart, but I had to resolve this right here.
"This is not about my insecurity, and you know that."
"Then why can't you trust me?!" Her near shout caused me to recoil. It wasn't like I didn't want to trust her, but how could I be sure that what she said was the unfiltered truth rather a result of her bias toward me?
Amara closed her eyes, rubbed her temple, and sighed. "Guess I have no other choice."
Her words caused me to frown, but before I could even react, she was already upon me. My eyes widened from surprise, even more so at her rapidly advancing lips. I wanted to push her away, but the force of her lunge tipped me over.
And then everything broke.
Reality sundered before my very eyes, the colors leaking like paint on a wet canvas. The world shifted to a monochrome setting, still and silent.
My senses expanded to an unnatural degree, a rising heat coalescing beneath my naval. I looked ahead to spot a hazy moonlit highlight of a person. The only moving speck in this time frozen world.
"What is going on?" My voice came out booming and distant. As it belonged to some person other than me. I was surprised and looked to find my hands gone; no, my entire body was gone.
Before I could fully extricate myself from the shock and question the reality, the mass of silver wisps shifted and spoke. "How does it feel?"
"What the..." I tried backing away, astonished at the soul-stirring tone with which the mass had spoken up.
"Don't be afraid; it's me, Amara." The mass shifted into a vaguely humanoid shape and waved its hand at me.
"Amara?"
"Yeah, do you like seeing me like this? I mean, this is the most naked a person can be. Surely that must've aroused you, right?"
"What?" Was all I could say, utterly confused by her words and the world that she had brought into existence. "What's this place, Amara?"
"Bummer." The form vaguely mimed shaking its head, though it was hard to be sure. "This is the soul core. My soul core, to be exact."
"What does that mean? And why are we here?"
"This is the proof you seek." She said, moving closer. "You wanted to see if I was being influenced by some magical Origin bullshit. Well, here you go."
Seeing her spread her wispy hands only contributed to my growing confusion. A seed of doubt started to surface within my heart, though I brushed it aside.
Shaking my head, I said. "I don't know what to look for. And even if I did, would it really matter? Do we even understand what we are dealing with here?"
"That's where you're wrong." Suddenly she was hanging upside down behind me, leaving me startled. "Do you know why those beyond A-Rank are called ascendants?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Like I said, you know too little. You don't understand the bond we share between us; even I didn't up until some time ago. The point is, it's not possible for your Origin to influence me because I'm not connected to your Origin in the first place."
"Wait, that doesn't make any sense."
"It does when you're looking from my perspective." Amara's mass of silver mist manifested before me. "And you know what I see? You. Not your Origin, and certainty, not some foreign influence. Just you."
Me? That did nothing to assuage my concerns. If anything, it only added to my mounting confusion.
"I know it sounds complex, and even I'm not spared from that feeling." She added. "But it's the truth. My existence doesn't stem from your Origin, but your soul."
"But that's even more absurd." I asserted. "The dragon is the reason why I even have this origin. How can I be the reason and not my origin?"
Amara released a soulful sigh that seemed to echo into the world. "That's exactly why I didn't want to share this with you. I knew this would be too much of a burden for you to bear."
It in fact was. Even before I had first summoned Amara, I had a hard time dealing with the nature of my origin. But at least I was able to accept it. But then I realized how it based itself on my relationship status with my summons. That wouldn't have been all that bad by itself, except I had no assurance that it wasn't secretly influencing them to make them more susceptible to my advances. Even the mere thought of that sickened me to the bone.
And now I was being told that my origin might have an even more mysterious origin of its own.
"But the dragon..." I didn't even know what to think of that.
"I don't know how or even why, but the dragon you met wasn't the reason you were able to summon me." Amara floated close by as she spoke. "Though it might have known the answer to the questions we seek. That said, are you satisfied now?"
"It still doesn't prove that your feelings for me are real."
"Sure it does." Amara voiced. "This is my soul, Markus. The core of my existence. You can temper with someone's mind, their desires, or even their thoughts. But the soul? It's just not possible."
"Why?"
"Because the soul is a singular existence. Unique and immutable. It can only grow or diminish, but never change. That's why I said—I might not recall my previous memories, but that person is still me. So, tell me, Markus, are my feelings for you fake?"
My mind exploded. It felt as if I was touching upon the existence of something grand. Cosmic. Sacred. But within that cold detachment lay a singular seed of affection, and it beckoned me. It welcomed me with its soul-lifting warmth. I could've melted in that feeling had I not been assaulted by the grief soon after.
Suddenly I was back in the real world. I felt the hard wood pocking at my back from beneath and blinked at the gloom of the night sky.
Amara stood a distance from me.
I pulled myself up, my hand reaching forward, and called. "Amara—"
"As a punishment, don't talk to me for a week." She cut me off and, without even sparing a glance my way, drifted down.
I stood on my lonesome atop the roof, unable to understand what had just transpired.
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