Simone woke up the next day feeling like shit. As usual. But there was nothing she could do. She had to go. And it's not as if skipping out would make her feel any better.
The bed was a temptation she could never fully enjoy.
Sleep was for the privileged class. She only lay in the soft mattress from hell. Even the pillow mocked her, cushioning her head and cheek, only for her to never enjoy it as it was intended.
She showered, dressed, put on her heavy eye makeup to disguise her deep set bags and several eyedrops which temporarily got rid of the sting. There was noting to be done about the redness, though. That part seemed to be permanent. She always looked like she'd been crying even though it was just an excessive amount of eyedrops that kept her eyes moist.
Eyedrops were her lifeline right now. Had been ever since the insomnia took a turn for the worse. She had probably spent more money on eyedrops, eye cream, eyeliner, eye shadow and mascara than food and water these past six months.
She had to quit drinking coffee as her body now thoroughly rejected it after the months she'd spent chugging it. And energy drinks were so sweet they made her gag.
As it stood, she now survived on electrolyte drinks and cola.
Her appetite had increased enormously. Since she wasn't sleeping, her body sought sustenance in other ways. She was going from sugar highs to fast food binges just so she could function.
Even the food coma that often came did not put her out. Sometimes it did, but it barely lasted more than two hours. Her body desperately needed more. Her heart needed more. Her mind needed more.
She was probably going to tip over and die soon.
-----
Dragging her exhausted and overweight body out of her apartment, she turned off her phone when she heard text messages keep coming in. Her family and friends knew better than to call her. She had informed them all that her ears were very sensitive to high and loud noises in her burnt out state. It was mostly texts and long winded emails that came her way nowadays.
She felt guilty for ignoring her family, but she was too exhausted to even entertain long conversations. She had thought she'd gotten accustomed to surviving on less sleep, but now it was less than less and unmanageable.
She had to drop out of colleague because she kept fainting during class. She's been on medication for a while, but she threw those out once they proved to be a source of mockery as well.
She had even tried to get black out drunk on several occasions out of sheer desperation, but it didn't work. Much like the fainting, her body collapsed from the booze. Her eyelids closed, but she remained fully conscious and awake.
It felt like needles were poking at her head all the time.
She had done her research on insomnia and from all she could gather, hers was a case never seen before. Even the anesthesia used to put people under couldn't put her under. The doctors were baffled.
She was always wide awake. And barely functional. Her body kept tapping out, but her mind never did.
At a time, she felt that maybe something supernatural was happening. Maybe she'd been possessed by the Sleepless Demon. Wasn't there one for everything? Every misfortune?
----
Walking through the cold morning air, she wept even though she knew it was a waste of eyedrops. She already had 3 bottles placed in her bag. They would be gone within eight hours.
Thankfully, her eye makeup were all waterproof.
Yesterday, she had made the decision to come out of hibernation and visit her little sister today. Unfortunately, she couldn't see her without seeing him there as well.
She needed to be perfect today. She couldn't let that little girl see her sorry state. She was already upset enough because her big sister was no longer around. Her parents told her of how she'd cried so much, demanding for them to take her to her big sister.
So I will suck it up and give her the happiest version of myself that I can muster.
And that idiot can just sit in the corner and drink coffee. I don't care how much he stares at me, I simply won't respond. And he knows to respect my physical boundaries. Tsk! Why is mom so convinced he is the guy for me?
He told me he loved me and then ran away when my sickness started. So much for sticking together through thick and thin. I wouldn't have left him if he were the one going through this.
She wiped away a tear drop.
So what if he's suddenly come back and changed his mind? He was gone long enough. And he's doing far better than I am. He's graduated and working. He's handsome, single and ready to mingle. Whatever appeal I once held in his eyes is no longer there.
Simone looked down at herself. Fat, sloppy and uncoordinated.
Yeah, he's definitely just trying to ease his guilty conscience. That's the only reason he's here. And I won't play into it. He can find another woman in a heartbeat. Why would he still be wasting time with me?
----
About 20 minutes later, Simone felt she had awakened a bit from the cold air. She was nearing the cafe her little sister was in. Checking her watch, she knew she was late, but hopefully the girl wouldn't get too upset and throw a tantrum.
She decided to cross through the Celestial Haven Cemetery in order to cut down on travel time. Her sister might be willing to wait for her for 15 minutes but if she arrived any later than half an hour after the time they'd set, she knew the girl was going to feel like she'd been abandoned.
The graveyard was a bit foggy, the grass fresh from the morning dew. It actually looked like a good place to sleep. A sudden whimsical thought occurred to her. What if the way to beat her insomnia was by resting among corpses? Surely the spirits of the dead could help her get some sleep?