"Another dud" I sighed.
Feeling the warmth of the small campfire in front of me embrace me and chase away the still lingering, ice cold feeling of death in my bones.
"I really don't know what happened. The previously relatively easy to avoid monsters, suddenly seem to know exactly where I'm at the moment I leave this forest"
I had always liked talking to the fire, but after the death of my parents it had become a real habit to talk to it as one would talk to an old friend.
This habit was probably the only thing keeping me sane until now. Well, as sane as possible in my situation anyways.
It was weirdly therapeutic, soothing to my nerves and helped me process whatever I experienced during the last cycle.
So, all in all if the only downside was looking like a crazy person that talks to fire to other people, it seemed like a good deal to me.
Besides, even if someone was to accidentally observe me during my embarrassing habit, they, like everyone would forget in the end.
I sigh.
"Well anyways."
I take out a big map of the United States and a red pen on which a big red circle marks my current location. Methodically I cross off different streets and directions around it.
"Seems like there are only two general directions left now. If none of those work, I'll have to start the second phase"
I was currently facing a 'Roadblock'.
That's what I call them anyways. Roadblocks usually are events that happen at a relatively specific time, that will always result in my death.
They vary greatly in what exactly they are and can be either of supernatural nature or completely mundane.
For example, when I was 7 years old got run over by a car and died. Quite a few times I must add.
Eventually I stayed alive that day by simply not stepping outside my house.
This was what I later classified as a 'phase one Roadblock' - relatively easy to avoid by simply waiting it out or going into a different general direction.
This would not suffice for a phase two Roadblock. To overcome one of those a set of more detailed instructions was needed.
For example, the first monster Roadblock I faced, a weird bird like thing with terrifying claws, was a phase two.
I was only able to overcome it after, through trial and error, I figured out that around 2:45 pm I had to take the bus to the next town over, stay there for 10 minutes and then take the train back.
When avoidance through this trial-and-error process becomes impossible, a Roadblock is classified as phase three.
The process for overcoming a phase three was much simpler than a face two, but also much more painful and taxing on my mental health.
I would pick one route and for the next whatever number of cycles repeat the exact same actions like a machine, memorizing the response of the Roadblock and then counter them again in the next cycle.
This process would repeat until the roadblock was dealt with.
Fortunately, so far, I had only encountered two of those. One where I killed my first monster and the other one where the homeless shelter, I stayed at at the time got attacked and shot up by some psychopath.
Since that experience I made a point to only sleep somewhere in nature with as many ways to escape as possible.
A phase 4 Roadblock.... well...
Memories of the worst time of my life flash before my eyes.
Dying again and again and again, countless times.
Watching my parents get ripped apart and brutalized until my mid snapped.
I shake my head.
"I hope I'll never encounter one of those again."
I look up at the warm comforting campfire in front of me.
"Oh, I'm sorry I got lost in my thoughts a bit. We were talking about my next course of action, right? Let's see, any suggestions which way I should go this time?"
As usual the fire didn't respond.
I chuckle "I think I'll go south west this time maybe somewhere on long island?"
The fire, again stayed quiet.
"I'll take that as a yes then" I laugh and stand up.
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Navigating through New York with this monster density was a nightmare.
I had avoided big cities even before but now it was nigh impossible.
"If I don't get somewhere safe soon, I'll eventually slip up and die", I say to the burning barrel in front of me.
Currently I was hiding in some relatively secretive alleyway.
"I'll reach long island tomorrow if everything goes well, I'm sure things will get better then"
In front of the fire, I pretend to be optimistic but if I'm honest I don't hold much hope for this route.
It took me a week just to cross New York without getting jumped by monsters.
The constant danger requires me to be vigilant at all times, not leaving any opportunity for rest.
I hadn't slept for more than an hour per day during that last week. And I knew, if things didn't change soon the lack of sleep will make me careless. Eventually I'd slip up and get found by a monster.
"Well anyways, we'll see. Sometimes the hardest route is the one that'll work after all"
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Delphi Strawberry Service - 1.5 miles ahead
A billboard advertises in bright bold letters next to the road I'm currently walking along.
"Well, might as well head in that direction, I guess. Maybe this strawberry field was the save haven I was looking for this entire time"
I scoff.
Even after trying to lighten the mood a bit by joking around, I'm unable to shake off this strange feeling I got ever since entering Long Island.
Weirdly enough I haven't seen any signs of monster activity this entire time as well.
Normally this would be a case for celebration, but if you die as much as me, you learn to trust your instincts. And right now, my instincts were almost screaming at me that something wasn't right.
Nevertheless, I carry on.
Turning around now would be even more idiotic. I would have to enter that minefield of a city New York again.
And if my previous experience with this Roadblock is anything to go by, the monster activity somehow only gets worse over time.
At this point, avoiding them in New York would be pretty much impossible and thus a death sentence even if I was in peak physical condition. Not to mention my sleep deprived and exhausted state at the moment.
Then suddenly, as I was thinking about my next steps, I see a flash of red between the trees to my right.
Without double checking I start running as fast as I can.
Adrenalin starts rushing through my veins and my heartbeat accelerates to push my body back to peak performance, temporarily ignoring my fatigue.
With my now highly attentive senses I hear shuffling sounds in the woods next to me.
Whatever monster I had caught a glimpse of was following me, chasing me.
I can hear its fast steps almost directly parallel to me.
Four legs, no hooves.
By the sound of its steps, I can identify at least this much. Coupled with the red color I glimpsed earlier, I have to conclude that, unfortunately I have not encountered this kind of monster before.
In front of me I see a sharp bend in the road coming up.
Simply continuing like this won't solve anything. The monster is keeping up with me and soon enough I'll run out of stamina.
I'll try to shake it off inside the forest ahead. Judging by its size its movement should be heavily restricted deeper inside the forest. So far it had stuck to the edge where the trees stand very thin after all.
The bend arrives.
I, instead of turning left, run straight ahead into the forest, ignoring my screaming muscles and speeding up even more.
Every breath tortures my lungs.
Sweat dripping down my face trying to somehow cool me down.
I dodge a tree.
The monster roars in frustration as it has to slow down to maneuver the thicket.
What a ghastly sound. Almost like a human, but not quite.
I push my aching and screaming body even further and sprint as fast as possible.
If I don't lose it now, I'll die. I won't see a new tomorrow - everything will get erased again.
This sweat, the pain in my legs and lungs. My desperate struggle for survival.
Everything that proves my existence in this world will be erased.
Everything I endured to get here will be for naught.
Everything I overcame to finally make it through this Roadblock, I will have to start over once again.
I look ahead, expecting to see the beginning of an even denser thicket.
But instead, I see the forest clearing up, and beyond a small hill.
A lone tree stands atop the hill, it's branches gently swaying in the wind as if to mock me. Despair hits me.
"You will never arrive" it seems to say. "In the end your choices do not matter"
I feel something piercing my back with incredible force, throwing me forward into the clearing.
For the first time I look at my pursuer.
A beast as horrible as they come.
A body as big as a lion's with skin as red as cinnabar. A human head sits upon that ghastly red body, icy blue eyes staring at me like a cat would at a mouse.
Protruding from its back was a giant tail with a pointed tip from which blood - my blood - was dripping down.
I clench my teeth and start crawling towards that mockingly lonely tree atop the hill, away from the beast behind me.
"You're dead already, why keep struggling? why not just give up now?" The tree keeps taunting me.
Inch by inch I drag my body up the hill.
Something pierces my left leg.
I continue slowly crawling, leaving a trail of my own blood on the ground beneath me.
Even if I'm to die here, I shall continue to struggle.
To eventually see the light of the new day, this is what has to be done.
Something pierces my chest.
I feel my life slowly draining away.
But still, I push forward.
Inch by inch.
My vision almost fading to black I reach the lone tree.
I'm about to spat insults at it, curse it with my dying breath.
But then in my last moments I witness something incredible. Something impossible. Something so outlandish and fantastical, if I wasn't already mad and knew how to distinguish an apparition from the real thing, I would have thought it fake.
The monster, trying to grab my leg, was halted and subsequently repelled by what seems like some kind of barrier.
A smile spreads across my face.
I had found it.
After all those years I had found the safe haven, I was looking for.
I had entirely misunderstood the tree before.
It wasn't mocking me. It was beckoning me. Inviting me into its protective embrace.
Ahh how hateful I had been in face of such a magnanimous thing.
Alas now I would die. My time had long come.
My heart had been pierced and I had lost too much blood.
Still, I smiled.
A death like this was incomparable to what it would have been before.
My struggles had borne fruit.
I close my eyes. The life slowly fading from my body.
I'll wake up in front of the fire soon enough.
This time I face the cold hopelessness of death with renewed faith and conviction.
In the end my choices did matter after all.
Thus, on the precipice of hell, I die in heaven.