Chereads / The Dawn of Power / Chapter 29 - The Ultimate Training... Sort Of

Chapter 29 - The Ultimate Training... Sort Of

Kaion, Raya, Grin, Darius, and Selene found themselves standing in a wide, open field, the ground cracked and dry beneath their feet. It wasn't the most picturesque place for a training session, but considering the cosmic apocalypse that loomed overhead, it was as good a spot as any.

"So, what's the plan here?" Kaion asked, adjusting his shirt and trying to look confident, though his eyes flickered nervously toward the others. "I mean, is this going to be another one of those 'unbearably intense' training sessions that you Guardians seem so fond of?"

Darius chuckled, cracking his knuckles. "You bet it is. But this time, there's a twist."

Kaion immediately perked up. "A twist? Like... a plot twist? Because I'm all for plot twists. Bring it on."

Raya rolled her eyes. "You really think this is gonna be fun? I'd bet my last cookie you're gonna get roasted by some wild cosmic power within the first five minutes."

"Raya," Kaion groaned. "Do you always have to be such a downer?"

"Only when someone's being too confident for their own good," she retorted with a sly grin.

Selene raised a hand, her voice calm and authoritative. "Alright, enough. We're here to test your abilities. This training isn't about brute force, it's about teamwork. The first lesson? You have to survive... each other."

Kaion blinked. "Wait, what?"

Before anyone could respond, a massive, fluffy, blue cloud suddenly appeared out of nowhere, hovering above them. From it, a gigantic, squeaky rubber chicken fell to the ground with a thud.

"Uh..." Grin began, looking at the chicken with a mix of disbelief and excitement. "Is... is that supposed to be part of the challenge?"

Darius looked unimpressed. "I thought we were training for the end of the universe, not... rubber chickens."

Selene stepped forward, her eyes gleaming with mischief. "Well, the chicken is here for a reason. You see, this is the Survival of the Fittest...and Funniest Challenge."

The others stared at her, blinking in unison.

"Seriously?" Kaion asked, mouth agape. "You brought us out here for... this?"

"Yep," Selene said with a smile. "The challenge is simple: you have to defeat the Rubber Chicken of Fate. The catch is, you can't use your normal weapons or powers. You must rely on your wits, your humor, and your creativity to take it down."

Grin raised his hand enthusiastically. "Can I throw it at someone else?"

"Nope," Selene said, shaking her head. "That's cheating."

"This is ridiculous," Kaion muttered, crossing his arms. "How is this going to help us prepare for anything?"

"That's what you think," Selene said, winking. "You'll see. But first, let's get started."

Raya, always ready for action, lunged forward, kicking the chicken like it owed her money. It squeaked loudly, sending a high-pitched sound echoing through the field.

The rubber chicken, however, just bounced harmlessly back into the air.

"Did... did you just kick a rubber chicken to death?" Grin asked, wide-eyed. "I gotta say, that's impressive. Also terrifying."

Raya, looking unimpressed, gave it another swift kick. This time, it bounced higher and started spinning wildly in the air, making a noise like an angry kazoo. The team watched in horror as it started to grow in size, doubling, tripling, and quadrupling in size until it was towering over them like some kind of rubbery, vengeful god.

"Okay," Kaion said, taking a cautious step back. "This is no longer funny. How do we stop this thing before it squashes us all?"

"Simple," Darius said, "we just need to think outside the box."

"Literally?" Kaion asked, looking around for a box, but finding none. "I mean, I'm down for some thinking, but... could you be a little more specific?"

"Just give it a try," Darius urged.

Kaion thought for a moment, and then his eyes lit up. "Alright, I got it! If the chicken likes to squeak... we just need to out-squeak it!"

He cleared his throat, took a deep breath, and began to mimic the chicken's squeaky noise at the top of his lungs.

"Q-QQQ-QUUUEEEE-AAAAK!" Kaion shouted at the top of his lungs, his voice wobbling as he mimicked the chicken's distinctive squeal. It sounded absurd, but it was strangely effective.

The chicken stopped in its tracks, tilting its head as though confused. For a moment, it seemed to be considering whether or not to continue its rampage of terror.

"I think you broke it," Raya said, deadpan.

Just as Kaion was about to celebrate, Grin piped up. "Or it could just be biding its time to roast us alive!"

Suddenly, the chicken let out a warbling scream that made everyone's hair stand on end. It charged at Kaion, who was now too tired to do anything but stand frozen in shock.

"Well," Kaion said, sweat beading on his forehead, "this escalated quickly."

In an unexpected twist, Darius swung into action, tossing a perfectly timed pie into the air. It hit the chicken squarely in the face, making the chicken stop dead in its tracks and instantly deflate into a squishy puddle of rubber and cream filling.

The group stared at the mess in silence.

"Well, that was... weird," Kaion said, wiping his hands on his pants.

"I'm just glad it wasn't me who had to deal with that," Grin added, clearly relieved. "I was worried we were going to be the ones served for dinner."

"You see," Selene said, "sometimes the greatest battles are won not with brute force, but with quick thinking and... well, a little bit of absurdity."

Kaion smirked. "I'll be honest, I'm still trying to figure out what just happened. Did we really just fight a rubber chicken?"

"You did," Selene said with a grin. "And you did it with humor, teamwork, and sheer ridiculousness. That's the kind of spirit you need to face what's coming."

"Yeah, yeah," Kaion grumbled. "But can we get back to something more serious now? Like... I don't know, actual training?"

Darius laughed. "Good luck with that, buddy. I have a feeling the universe has a few more surprises in store for you."