I took a deep breath, my hands gripping tightly as I slowly pushed my ex-husband's heavy body into the deep pit, which had long been prepared for him.
Then, with a firm grip on the shovel, I began to toss earth onto his body, one shovelful after another.
As I buried him, I made sure to carefully avoid his face and eyes with each shovelful. I wanted him to witness, with his own eyes, how the earth slowly covered him, to experience the same terror and despair I had once felt.
At first, he struggled desperately, his body writhing in a frantic attempt to escape. But as the mound of dirt grew higher and higher, his strength waned, and he was no longer able to free himself.
Watching this unfold, an intense sense of irony washed over me. This should have been the conclusion he meticulously designed for me, yet, unexpectedly, it had now become his own fate.
Xu Ze stood by quietly, smoking a cigarette, his brow furrowed as though deep in thought.
Earlier, when he saw me laboring so hard, he had offered to lend a hand, but I had gently declined.
This was a grudge between me and my ex-husband, and this final step was one that only I could complete.
"Do you really plan to return to the country?" Xu Ze broke the silence, his voice soft and calm.
He knew full well what awaited me upon my return.
"Yes… I need to send my daughter home," I replied, my tone resolute, my eyes gazing into the distance as though I could already see the direction of my homeland.
"Would you like me to go in your stead?" he asked. As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized his mistake. For a mother, no one could replace her in accompanying her child for the final journey; it was something only she could do.
Embarrassed, he scratched his head and sighed, saying, "Let's go back together."
While I continued to bury my ex-husband, I paused at his words, a warmth spreading through my chest.
"I also want to go back to see the child," he added, a trace of melancholy in his eyes.
"The house my ex-husband and I had... it's most likely going to be auctioned off," I said, pausing before continuing, "But the money I earned these past years is all legal. I've managed to save up a small sum."
"Why talk about money now?" He frowned slightly, as if discussing finances at this moment seemed out of place.
"I won't give it all to you, but I'll give you an address— the second bedroom where my daughter and I used to live." I looked at him earnestly. "That house is in a remote location, not worth much. Buy the whole place, even if you have to add more money to it."
My eyes reddened as I continued, "Clean it up, let my daughter return there, just as if... just as if time had returned to the beginning. Back then, I was always working late, and she would be waiting there for me to come home."
"Someday, I'll return there, hold her tight again, just like when she waited for me to come home. I'll be beside her once more."
"If that house stays empty, it'll gather so much dust," Xu Ze remarked, attempting to ease the heavy atmosphere.
I turned to look at him. After a brief hesitation, he spoke again. "…I'm quite good at cleaning and tidying up houses."
"Are you sure? With how messy your company and home are?" I couldn't help but tease him.
He gave a sheepish laugh and explained, "Practice makes perfect. One must refine their skills over time."
We shared a smile before falling into a long silence.
I regained my focus and continued to shovel the final bits of earth.
After a while, the thick layer of dirt had filled the pit entirely, leaving no trace of my ex-husband. Only the sound of the shovel scraping against the earth remained.
"…You'll be waiting for a long time," I paused and looked at Xu Ze.
I knew that choosing to return to the country meant inevitable imprisonment, a fate I could not escape.
"Yes, I'll be waiting for you there," he replied, his gaze unwavering, offering me a look that brought a sense of peace.
It was strange, though. Despite the heavy task at hand—burying a man alive—somehow, the conversation shifted to the future, to hope, leaving an inexplicable mixture of emotions in my heart.