"Hello there. It's a pleasure to meet you," the man in the suit said, his tone sharp yet composed. His face was slightly lowered, and though his voice carried the elegance of a gentleman, there was an undeniable hint of mischief lurking beneath it.
He stood motionless outside, just beyond the shattered remains of the wall, one hand tucked neatly behind his back. Snowflakes drifted down in slow, deliberate swirls, settling on his shoulders and hair as if time itself had slowed in his presence.
"Excuse me, but is this where I can find Miyu Nomiya?" he asked, tilting his head upward. As he did, his face became clearer—long black hair cascading down to the nape of his neck, piercing blue eyes like the winter sky.
"Y-yes... I am her mother," Kikyo stammered, her voice faltering. "How can I help you?"
Something about him unsettled her. His attire, his demeanor—everything about him suggested he was no ordinary man. And as she studied him, an uneasy thought crept into her mind. Could he be the owner of this cloth? The mere idea sent a chill down her spine.
"Well, you see—" the man began, stepping forward. With deliberate ease, he climbed over the broken wall and entered the ruined building. "Your daughter, Miyu, took a rather expensive piece of clothing that belongs to me," he continued, his voice calm yet firm. "Though, I wouldn't exactly call it stealing. She merely retrieved it from the thief who originally stole it."
Kikyo's breath hitched. Her worst fear had come true.
"I-I'm really sorry!" she blurted out, bowing her head. In a flurry of panic, she reached for the fabric draped over Shin's shoulders and hurriedly began removing it.
As she handed it back, a sudden realization struck her—the cloth was covered in a fine layer of dust. Without thinking, she quickly started patting it down, trying to shake off the dirt.
"P-Please wait just a moment! I'll clean it first," she said hastily, her hands working as if to erase any sign of disrespect.
"Oh, it's quite alright. I don't mind," the man said with a polite smile, his tone effortlessly refined.
"Forgive my rudeness—I forgot to introduce myself," he added, bowing slightly before raising his head once more. "My name is Kaitou Kurozawa."
His graceful demeanor caught them off guard. Kikyo, Miyu, and Shin exchanged subtle glances, surprised. Never had they encountered a wealthy man who carried himself with such warmth and humility.
"I am Kikyo Nomiya, Miyu Nomiya's mother," Kikyo replied, her voice steady yet respectful. She lowered her head slightly in apology. "I sincerely regret my daughter's actions and take full responsibility. If there is any punishment to be given, I will bear it in her place."
Kaitou blinked, momentarily taken aback. There was an air of nobility in the way she spoke, a grace that defied her circumstances.
It was rare—unheard of, even—for someone of her status to possess such refined manners. In a country where only nobles and the wealthy received education, most commoners grew up on the streets, never learning the ways of formal etiquette. Yet here she stood, a beggar with the composure of an aristocrat.
Here's a refined version of your passage with improved flow, natural dialogue, and more engaging narration:
The man remained silent, his sharp gaze lingering on Kikyo. His expression was unreadable, yet there was a weight behind his stare, as if he were searching for something beneath the surface.
Kikyo took a step forward, still keeping her head slightly lowered, and handed him the cloth. He accepted it without a word, studying it briefly before finally speaking.
"May I ask a question?"
"Yes, of course," Kikyo replied.
Miyu tilted her head slightly. Didn't he just ask a question by asking for permission to ask another one?
"Are you, by any chance, of noble lineage?" Kaitou asked, his eyes gleaming with intrigue.
"I am not a pure noble," Kikyo admitted. "My mother worked as a maid in a noble's house. Eventually, she gave birth to me, and one day, she decided to take me and flee from that household."
Kikyo felt a flicker of embarrassment. In this day and age, sexual harassment was practically an unspoken part of a maid's duties. Nobles treated their maids as little more than playthings, using them at their whim. It was not uncommon for a maid to return from a noble's house only to later bear his child.
Kikyo's mother was one of them.
Yet, despite the widespread knowledge of these relationships, there was something peculiar—something chilling—about how they always ended. While people acknowledged that nobles often fathered children with their maids, no one had ever seen a maid successfully raise a noble's child.
Those who became pregnant simply… disappeared.
No one knew where they went, and no one dared to ask.
Kaitou's eyes flickered with interest. A half-vampire… with two children. No wonder they carry the scent of vampires.
I was expecting nothing more than a stolen piece of clothing, but it seems I've stumbled upon a far greater treasure than I imagined.
His thoughts drifted back to earlier, when he had chased down the thief who originally stole his cloth. Just as he had caught the man, a young girl had darted in, snatched the fabric, and fled.
In that brief moment, something unexpected had reached his nose—a scent unlike any other. A rusty, metallic aroma of dried blood, laced with the delicate fragrance of Kinmokusei.
Fascinating…
Her mother escaped a noble's grasp and managed to keep her bloodline alive for two generations. I wonder… which house did she once serve?
It must have been one of the first noble families from the early war.
(Kinmokusei is a Japanese flower known for its sweet scent)
After organizing his thoughts, Kaitou spoke. "Can you tell me the name of the noble your mother served?"
"Unfortunately, I don't know anything about him," Kikyo admitted. "I remember very little of my childhood… I don't even recall when or how I lost my mother." A shadow crossed her face, her expression laced with distress.
"I see," Kaitou murmured, studying her closely. After a brief pause, he continued, "After learning about your past and seeing your personality, I must say—I'm rather fond of you. You seem like just the kind of person I've been searching for."
"Pardon?" Kikyo asked, narrowing her eyes slightly.
"You see, I recently opened a bar in the city of Akuro, and I'm in need of a manager." He paused. Then, in an instant, something shifted. His once sky-blue eyes darkened into a deep crimson, his pupils narrowing like a cat's.
"Would you be willing to work for me?"
The moment the words left his lips, the pressure in the air changed.
For a split second, Kikyo felt something grip her chest—a weight pressing down on her heart. She had seen it. The way his eyes had changed. But then, just as quickly as the sensation came, it was gone. His expression returned to normal, his gaze once again a calm, sky-blue.
Had she imagined it?
Across the room, Shin and Miyu blinked in confusion. They, too, thought they had seen something. Yet, their minds refused to hold onto the memory, as if it were slipping through their fingers like sand.
"Yes," Kikyo replied.
The word left her lips before she even realized it. She had accepted his offer without thinking—without hesitation. And yet, there was no discomfort, no regret.
Strangely, she felt… drawn to the idea.
As if something within her had been gently, irresistibly pulled into his orbit.