When I woke up, I noticed that it was dark outside so I went out and looked for Alex, Lara, Canim, or if the three of them were together.
When I got down, the cold wind from the beach immediately enveloped me so I just hugged myself while walking around and looking to see where they were.
After a while, I heard Alex's loud voice echoing so I headed towards it and when I saw them surrounding the bonfire I smiled as I went. But I was stopped when someone put a scarf on my shoulder so I turned to the one who put it and it turned out to be Canim.
"Thank you," I smiled.
He just nodded and held my hand.
"Wait, where are we going? They're on the other side." I just asked him when he pulled me in the opposite direction.
"Do you trust me?"
I was stunned by his question. Because honestly I have more than trust in him but I don't want to say it because he might just abuse it or it'll just disappoint me.
"And we're here."
I don't know how many minutes I've been silent and what road we've taken because of what I was thinking earlier.
"It's so mesmerizing."
I can't help but drool over it, some people may not appreciate it but I can't help it. We are at the top, watching over mountains and nonstop lightning from afar like I could see it from here and the result is so lovely despite its danger.
Canim offered me to sit on the mat he laid out and I was surprised to see a drink in his hand.
"When did you bring that?"
He just chuckled and drank it. He offered me some but I didn't drink. I want to stay sober so we'll not both end up sleeping here.
He had finished a few bottles and the silence that surrounded us didn't even feel awkward, it felt comfortable.
After a while, I heard Canim murmuring.
"Are you still okay there?" I joked.
"If only we can stay here, like this... forever."
I just held on to my restless heart, and my face was warming up despite the cold that surrounded us.
I looked at the red and drunk Canim and smiled. I caressed his cheeks and he leaned over my hand.
"Don't leave me, please... It hurts."
I've never left you, and if given a chance, I would never do that Canim.
"Just here... Here, right here next to me. Don't leave please?"
He was about to fall so I came closer and let him lie on my chest while I stroked his hair.
"I'm just here."
"Via..." he whispered slowly closing his eyes.
I was confused for a moment by what he whispered, I don't know if I heard something or not because he said it so weakly that I just ignored it and we stayed like that for more than an hour.
"I looked for you everywhere, I even searched the whole place. I even asked most of the staff but you're just here?"
I almost pushed Canim into shock when Antonio suddenly appeared behind us.
"Isn't there anything you can do to make your voice louder?" I asked sarcastically, annoyed.
"Let's go!"
"Can't you see Canim?" I asked irritated. Sometimes I don't know how to get this Antonio out of my life.
"The other staff are going up, I just went first because I was worried about you. So they will take care of him."
"But-"
I couldn't hold it when Antonio pulled me upright.
"What!" I yelled at him because I was so annoyed with him and his constant appearance.
I don't understand his reaction to my shouting. It was dark but here we were, looking into each other's eyes. But it was like my heart was being pinched while staring into his eyes.
We heard the staff and ordered them to bring Canim when they arrived. Antonio and I followed and no one ever dared to talk.
I'm not comfortable with the quiet Antonio, maybe because I'm used to the loud, and carefree Antonio.
Because my brain was preoccupied with lots of thoughts, I didn't notice that there was a big rock in front of me and I tripped.
Why do I always stumble whenever I'm with Antonio?
I wasn't able to move immediately because I was still processing what happened to me, but Antonio quickly sat down so that we were level.
"Look/Hop in." We said in chorus.
"What?" I shouted in shock.
"Or maybe you want me to carry you again in a bridal style like before?"
I didn't hesitate to hop on his back and he slowly stood up and walked.
I can't stand the silence that surrounds us as if I was being deafened.
"Why did you search the whole place and even disturb the staff?"
He didn't speak so maybe he was still angry.
After a while, he suddenly answered. "I was worried, I was afraid."
"Why? That Uncle Luis might scold you?" I asked jokingly to lighten the atmosphere for both of us.
I heard him sigh. Maybe he didn't get my joke.
"I was scared... I was scared that I might lose you, that I might lose my sanity if I couldn't find you. Maybe I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if that happened. I want you to be the last sight I see before I close my eyes and the first I see the moment I open my eyes."
Overwhelmed by so many emotions. I preferred to remain silent as I didn't know what to say or what to do, what to feel.
Silence envelops us as his words linger, heavy with raw emotion.
When we got back, they offered me to go into the room but I refused because I had just left and I let them go first because they were already drunk. I even sent Antonio away because I might have exploded with everything I heard. I let myself be hit by the violent and cold wind on the beach while closing my eyes and looking for peace and calmness that I don't know and can't find.