Inside my apartment, I dropped my bag on the floor and sank onto the couch, my knees pulled up to my chest. The room was quiet, except for the faint ticking of the clock on the wall and the loud hum from the fridge. I gripped the pillow tightly and stared at the wall, my mind blank. I had no job, no plan, and soon, no home.
I looked up as the door creaked up, breaking the silence as Bennett, my elder brother, walked in, his hand resting softly on Isla's shoulder. Her backpack was slung over one arm, its zipper slightly open, with a pen and book sticking out. Bennett set the bag near the door and smiled at me.
Isla walked past me without saying a word. Her steps were quick, and she kept her head down. I wondered what was wrong?
"Hi, sweetheart," I smiled at her. "Was school fun today?"
Isla hesitated before she stopped for a second near the stairs but didn't turn around. "You don't care," she said bluntly. Then, without waiting, she headed straight to her room and shut the door behind her.
My shoulders slumped as I sighed.
Bennett crossed the room and sat down in the armchair across from me. He leaned closer, resting his elbows on his knees. His eyes were gentle, but there was a question in them. "Still like this?" he asked.
I wasn't exactly in a good relationship with Isla and wouldn't question her because I haven't been a good mother to her as well.
I nodded slowly, my hands fiddling with the pillow in my lap. "It's getting worse lately," I murmured.
Bennett didn't say anything, but his jaw tightened slightly, and his fingers curled into fists.
I looked away, within me, I was trembling. I got reports from her head teacher that kids at school won't stop making fun of her. They called her names. They say she doesn't have a dad.
The thought of experiencing those harsh words caused my chest to tighten. I swallowed hard. "She hates it there. She hates everything. She hates me."
Bennett leaned back in the chair, his arms crossed over his chest. His gaze softened. "She doesn't hate you, Mar,"
'Mar', He never stopped calling me that. I tightened my grip on the edge of the couch as I threw my face to the other corner.
I shook my head, biting my lip. "I'm not so sure."
The words hung in the air, heavy and painful. I held back tears. Bennett sat up straighter, rubbed his palm over his forehead as he nudged his nose.
"What's wrong?"
I blinked quickly, forcing back the tears that stung in my eyes. "Nothing," my voice snapped.
Bennett didn't believe me, but he didn't push. He said nothing as he watched me force myself up and headed toward the kitchen.
I opened the cupboard, pulled out two glasses, poured the coffee slowly, and watched the dark liquid swirl. My hands shook slightly as I carried the glasses back to the living room, but I quickly dropped one in front of Bennett.
Then I picked up an envelope from the table as I sat down on the couch.
I sipped my coffee, my fingers tightening around the glass. I held up the envelope and waved it slightly. "I've got fourteen days to evacuate," my jaw trembled.
Bennett's eyes widened. "What? Why? When is your paycheck coming in?"
I shrugged, avoiding his gaze. "There's no paycheck," I said quickly. "I got fired."
"What's going on?" Bennett leaned forward, his coffee forgotten on the table. "What happened?"
I shook my head, brushing him off. "It's done, Bennett. It's over."
Bennett stared at me for a long moment, then sighed. "You need help, Mar. You should call Ryan."
I froze for a second, then set my glass down with a thud. "Ryan?" I asked, my voice sharp. "Ryan broke up with me last night. He definitely doesn't want to ever hear from me again."
Bennett's jaw tightened. "Forget Ryan. He's not worth another thought. You need to focus on you and Isla."
I nodded, my lips pressed into a thin line. I didn't even want to think about it, about how his words settled deep in me. I was just his…plaything.
I heard Bennett mumble something under his breath, his hands clenched into fists. "Your life is—" He stopped himself, but the words were already out.
I shot him a glare, my eyes blazing.
"I didn't mean it like that," he said quickly, raising his hands as he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry."
I glared at him for a moment, then sighed, leaning back against the couch. "If that's all you've got to tell me…then leave."
"You need to find another job," Bennett said after a long pause, ignoring what I had just told him. "And, I'm not leaving you."
I let out a bitter laugh. "Another job? As what, Bennett? A waitress? A cleaner? A babysitter?"
I have been in the industry for years and I knew that no company would accept me, with all the scandals and my name blaring on every headline.
He shook his head. "No. Something better. Look, I know someone, my close friend. His company is hiring a secretary. I think you should apply."
I frowned, my fingers tapped lightly on the edge of my coffee glass. "A secretary? Are you serious?"
"Yes." Bennett pulled his phone from his pocket, scrolling quickly. "It's a good position."
I stared at him, unsure. I knew what my chances were, I knew I would never get accepted, but there was no harm in trying.
Bennett stopped scrolling, his eyes pinned on his screen. "The application closes today. At five." He glanced at the clock on the wall. "It's already one. You don't have much time."
My stomach twisted. "I don't even have a resume ready."
"Then get it ready," Bennett said firmly. "You can do this, Mar."
Before I could respond, Bennett's phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen and frowned. "I have to go," he said, standing up quickly. "But promise me you'll apply, okay?"
I hesitated, then nodded slowly. "Okay."
Bennett grabbed his keys and headed for the door. He paused for a moment, looking back at me. "I'll take care of Isla's financial needs."
Then he was gone. I had to suppress the sudden urge to go over to hug him, he always made sure he was there for me whenever I needed him.
I scrambled to find my laptop inside the box I had just brought from the office, papers flew everywhere as I searched.
I set it on the table, my fingers ran across the keyboard as I opened my resume. It was outdated and messy, but I didn't have time to fix everything.
I updated my contact information, added my recent job experience, and tried to make it look halfway decent. My heart raced as I worked, my eyes darting to the clock.
The minutes ticked by too fast.
At 4:55pm, I finally uploaded the resume and typed out a short cover letter. My hands were shivering as I hit the "submit" button.
The screen flashed with a confirmation message, but I didn't feel any relief. I leaned back on my chair, staring at the screen. My chest felt tight, and my thoughts were a mess.
"They're not going to pick me," I whispered to myself.
I closed the laptop and rubbed my eyes. The day had been too much, and I felt extremely drained.
I forced myself from the couch, headed to Isla's room and pulled the doorknob, but it didn't open.
"Isla, can you let me in?" I rested my forehead on the door, my voice soft and pleading.
There was a pause, I heard a faint sound of papers rustling from the other side. Finally, Isla's muffled voice came through. "I'm busy with homework."
I sighed, my breath warm as I closed my eyes, my hand brushed against the doorknob, but I didn't turn it again. "I just wanted to ask what you would like for dinner, sweetheart."
The papers stopped rustling, and were replaced by the sound of Isla's footsteps moving closer.
The door opened a crack, and Isla peeked out, her hazel eyes held back words.
"Pizza," she said flatly.
I hesitated, the word tugged at my chest. Pizza wasn't cheap, and I couldn't afford to spend on it right now. But Isla's face didn't leave room for any other alternative and I didn't want to bother her by telling her I lost my job. She would see me as a loser.
"Okay," I forced a smile. "I'll let you know when the dispatch arrives."
Before I could say anything else, Isla nodded and pushed the door shut again. The latch clicked softly. I stayed still for a moment, my hand brushing against the doorframe.
I turned and walked back to the living room, sinking into the couch. My shoulders slumped as I buried my face in my palms. I was trying so hard to be a good mother but life keeps dishing out messy experiences to me.
A tear slipped down my cheek, but I wiped it away quickly. I pulled myself together, I grabbed my phone, and searched for a pizza place nearby and placed the order. That was the last money in my banking app, I couldn't believe I gave it up for pizza.
I had no idea how long I dozed off but my eyes darted to the clock the moment I woke up.
10:47pm.
My phone buzzed and I reached for it, my heart skipped a beat as I saw the notification.
My fingers shook as I opened the email. The words on the screen blurred as my vision failed me. A part of me hoped for the best, but fear clouded my thoughts at the sight of the email subject.
Another rejection?