2 months later…
Chugging down the nth glass of alcohol, Jin Taifeng drank his sorrow till his mind became muddled. Laughing and crying in between with the unkept stubble on his face he appeared to be the manic at the utmost need of the counselling. Directly chugging the last gulp of alcohol from the bottle, he started snuggling with the teddy big as him lying next to him in the cushion.
"Maya! Oh, my lovely Maya. Hicc… You see I am so alone all day. Nobody loves me everybody love this face…. this body…my fame… my money, but nobody loves me, my imperfections, my insecurities…Hicc… only you are by my side who love me, kiss me, hugs me without questioning, without complaining…. Wuwuwu… I love you." He held the hand of teddy guiding it to his face.
"Can you… Can you please come back? Hmm. Please! I promise this time I will not leave you alone like before. I will always be there for you. I will listen to you, follow you. Please come back or…or should I come to you."
"What you said?" Jin Taifeng leaned toward the teddy bear slightly nodding his head.
"Yes. You are right I should come to you this time because last time when you went away, I didn't come to you and you were so alone at that time. You said you needed me most but I was not there. So, this time I am coming you wait."
Standing from the cushion he stood up his whole body shaking, making his way towards the door. Suddenly the teddy fell from his lap tangling between his legs making him fall down. His mind struck with the table and he fainted on the spot.
As the time went by Jin Taifeng regained his consciousness confusedly checking is surrounding. Once sensing the familiar warmth of his home, he wrapped his hands around his head trying to minimize the pain. Suddenly the picture of the smiling girl came to his vision and he stilled for a second.
He remembered that he had taken this photograph of Maya when she last time came to his home looking beautiful as always to celebrate his birthday last year. That time they were two of them and had drunk till fainting at that time.
He chuckled reminiscing, his hands automatically clutching around the Teddy.
"You once said that I look very pitiful when I cry but you enjoy seeing me crying because you, I looked very delicate and helpless." His eyes wandering towards the roof of his apartment.
"That's why you left me giving so much pain. Are you enjoying it from their…looking at me so miserable so helpless? ARE YOU HAPPY!"
The crying continued till the bell rang and Jin Taifeng reluctantly opened the door. Not finding anyone outside he was going to close the door but his eyes felt on a thin letter which was on the floor in front of his door. Baffling he picked up the letter and his eyes rounded when he saw the sender of this letter.
Maya Melien.
Rushing back inside he hurriedly opened the letter in which the words were written beautifully. The strokes itself showed that the person has taken a ample amount of free time before to write this letter. Unfolding the pages inside the letter began as his tears felled.
Dear fengfeng,
If you're reading this, it means I didn't make it back. I can picture you now, holding this letter with that determined look in your eyes—the one that says you're ready to fight the world. But this time, there's no fight to win, no rescue to plan.
Please don't waste your strength on grief. I need you to listen, really listen, because these are the words, I should have told you long ago.
You once told me you loved me, and I didn't know how to respond. Not because I didn't care—I did, more than I let on—but because I didn't believe I deserved your love.
Before you came into my life, I gave my heart to someone else. I thought it was real, thought it was everything I'd ever wanted. But they lied to me, and when they left, they took more than my trust—they took my ability to believe in love again. I built walls around my heart, convinced it was safer that way. Then you came along, with your unwavering honesty, your kindness, and your maddening ability to see right through me.
You broke through those walls, piece by piece, and I hated you for it at first. But slowly, you reminded me what it felt like to be seen, to be cared for, to be loved without condition. You showed me that not everyone lies, not everyone leaves. And somewhere along the way, I started to love you too.
I wish I had more time to show you. I wish I could hold your hand, look into your eyes, and tell you what you mean to me. I wish I could promise you forever, the way you deserve. But life has never been kind enough to give me second chances.
So, I'll say it here, with all the courage I have left: I love you, Jin Taifeng.
You are everything I didn't know I needed, and I am so sorry it took me so long to see it. If there's one thing I can ask of you, it's this: don't let my absence dim your light. Keep living, keep loving, and find happiness again. You deserve it more than anyone I've ever known.
Thank you for loving me when I couldn't love myself. Thank you for giving me something beautiful to carry with me into the next life.
With all my heart,
Maya.