"So... you're a human? Pity. That might be the worst race you could've chosen. In your next life, choose better parents." The man's snide voice permeated through the darkness.
'It's not even like I wanted to be a human!' Nick complained in his mind, still unable to speak or see. It was like something was blocking his senses...
Or, more accurately, he didn't have a physical form yet. How else would this game enable him to go from a human to a fricken Satyr? Well, Vakir, but semantics don't really matter.
"Well, not much we can do about your race now. Tell me traveler, what's your name?"
Nick was about to say the name he used for every gacha account: NoobSlayer69. Then he noticed the popup message, similar to the one that showed up when deciding his race.
--(Name)--
--[NOTE: Explicit language, offensive terminology, and other such offensive names will lead to the player's immediate death. You will turn to ash, and a new King of the Cosmos will be selected. Do not overstep your boundaries.]--
'Explicit language? This fricken game won't even let me act like a 12-year-old? What is this, a kid's game?!' The system remained silent as Nick lamented this travesty. One of the greatest attractions of a game was the naming feature. There was something perfect, sacred about naming yourself the worst name you can think of.
What kind of gamer would name their player 'Nick'?
'This is bullcrap.' Nick thought as he supplied his government name. Boring old Nick Gela.
"You're parents really hated you, huh? Anyway, what gender are you?"
'I'm obviously a man-'
Nick gasped as his entire world returned to light. The man was gone, leaving him alone in some kind of cave.
Looking down at his body, he saw that he was much more lean now. He definitely wouldn't say he was a bodybuilder, but his current physique was quite the upgrade over Dorito aficionado.
All that covered him was a simple leather tunic and some kind of leather undergarments. For some reason, his arms were chained.
Frantically yanking his arm out of fearful instinct, Nick instantly regretted it. His arms burned from the pain of being bound. Gritting his teeth, Nick did his best to ignore the pain but it was really hard.
Being an avid gacha gamer did not prepare him for situations like this.
That couldn't matter though. Someone deliberately held him captive, and they likely weren't friendly. Like, he had better odds of winning the Powerball.
Looking around again, Nick silently cursed the stupid man and the stupid gods. Not only did he die just to be resurrected or transmigrated or whatever, but he didn't even get to be surrounded by beautiful women in his second life.
So far, he felt more like one of those characters the author loved to torture. Whoever created this game... if they made him suffer, Nick promised to beat the crap out of them.
The distant echo of pounding boots hastened Nick's search for a way out. It didn't matter if he had no idea what was happening right now or if he'd prefer the safety of his home and gacha games. Right now, he needed to find a way to get free from these chains.
+--+ Quest Received +--+
--(Clear Goblin nest 0/1)--
--(Save Juliana 0/1)--
'Juliana?' Nick thought, already finding even more motivation to find a way out. Apparently, his first quest involved saving her. Which didn't make much sense to him, but there was no time to think about that.
As if reading his desperation
>--< New Objective >--<
--(Find key)--
A marker appeared in front of Nick, like what he'd see in some kind of open-world RPG.
The only issue was, it seemed like this system was a cruel joker. To his right was a small desk, and on this desk was the key. He tried to reach for the key, but it was just out of his reach.
And those footsteps were getting closer and closer. Somehow he heard 8 distinct footsteps. Enhanced hearing, courtesy of becoming a super person, he supposed.
Knowing that he wouldn't be able to reach it, Nick thought of some other way he could attain it. This quest obviously resembled a game's tutorial, so it was meant to be completed by any idiot.
It was likely the tutorial wanted to teach him some mechanic. Nick tried to move forward and backward but the chain jerked him back into place. Then he tried to jump and the same thing happened.
His arms sore, Nick decided that this probably wasn't actually a tutorial. At least not one that would be found in any game besides Dark Souls.
Games were supposed to hold his hand, and instead this one was breaking his hands.
Sighing, Nick wished he at least had a potion to heal himself. If he could just leave these chains, he knew he'd find some wheel of cheese or something at least.
Due to video game logic, he'd be healed somehow.
As it stood, he was stuck here. He never even had the chance to add items to his inventory–
Wait.
Most games run on some kind of hammerspace logic, where the items just disappear into thin air until he needs them. If he could access this hammerspace...
'Open Sesame!' Nick yelled in his mind, not expecting much to happen.
A bright light flashed across his face: his inventory.
--(Inventory)--
>--< Apparel >--<
>--< Weapons >--<
>--< Insignia >--<
>--< Fragments >--<
>--< Food >--<
--(Peach)--
>--< Books >--<
>--< Potions >--<
>--< Misc. >--<
--(Prison Key)--
>--< Quest Items>--<
Nick did his best to keep himself from worrying about all those sections. Later, he could explore this mysterious inventory, and why he would have a peach of all things.
For now, he knew his assumption was right. The tutorial wanted him to learn how to access his inventory and manipulate its hammerspace.
Grabbing the key from the cosmos, Nick freed himself and while he was rubbing his arms the quest marker flashed in front of him again.
>--< Objective Complete >--<
>--< New Objective >--<
--(Choose Weapon)--
'Weapon?'
Looking to his left, Nick saw that a rack containing an assortment of many different weapons had appeared. Either the goblins were very stupid, or this tutorial decided to finally be convenient.
'Good. If I'm trapped inside some game, I'd prefer that it be as close to a power fantasy as possible.'
Looking at the weapons, Nick knew that wouldn't be possible. Even though he didn't know the exact game this plane represented, he knew RPGs enough to know that you grind and grind and grind. Death was a common part of these kinds of games-in fact, most of them had to add lore to the respawn button.
Aether Babes, although fun from the couch, was also not really the best world for the MC. He faced many struggles and almost died in pretty much every chapter. Even if he was surrounded by hot waifus, it didn't make his day job any less dangerous.
Looking at the weapons, Nick knew he didn't have any experience with a single one of them. Maybe he should just take a sword, as he's used them most often–
"Food! Food! We coming, just wait!"
The goblins' footsteps turned into a grandiose march and scattered chatter. Their laughs reverberated along the walls of the cave as they slapped each other in jest.
'Those idiots think they will just eat me?' Nick thought as he yanked a longsword off the rack.
A shield materialized in his left hand as a message flashed in front of him.
--(Warrior)--