Caden walked back to his chambers, each step feeling heavier than the last. A whirlwind of thoughts went around his mind and it made him feel so weak.
He thought about Ivy and it made him sign. The thought of being joined to her, bound by duty rather than love, felt like a weight around his neck, a noose that tightened with each passing day. She had been the one to spread the rumors, to fuel the fire that was already burning between them. Was it jealousy? Or was it something more? He didn't know anymore.
Yet, he couldn't shake the feeling that his happiness had been stripped away in the process. What kind of life was it to live for others, to sacrifice everything for a duty that felt more like a prison sentence than a privilege? His father had made this choice for him, just as the elders had, but it wasn't a life Caden had asked for. It wasn't a life he wanted.
He thought about Emerald then. Her image flashed in his mind, her face soft and uncertain, her eyes full of something he couldn't quite place—sadness, hope, longing? She had been thrown into this world of chaos without a choice, just like him.
She wasn't from this Pack; she wasn't even supposed to be here. Yet, somehow, her presence had become a constant in his life, a reminder that there were still things outside of duty, things outside of tradition that could matter.
Emerald. He smiled at her name; the thought of her had always brought a strange feeling to his chest. She had a gentle spirit, a kind of inner strength that made him admire all she had been through. He had felt something in his heart, something he hadn't felt for a long time and it was close to peace.
The thought of her brought so many emotions rushing through him: regret, guilt, desire, and even confusion. He smiled. The fact that she was carrying his child seemed to complicate things further; that's when the elders found out about his secret heir.
His unborn child—it felt like another piece of his future had been brought in to comfort him, but at the same time, it brought more confusion.
The weight of that realization sank in. His life wasn't just his own anymore. It never had been. The Pack, Ivy, his unborn child—they were all tangled in his fate, and every decision he made now would affect them all. He couldn't simply walk away from his responsibilities, not when the future of the Pack hung in the balance. But how could he reconcile his duty to Ivy and the Pack with the growing feelings he had for Emerald?
He wondered how he could bring himself to marry a woman he felt nothing for, someone who he never loved in the first place, knowing that he had another woman—Emerald—who was carrying his child.
Caden tightened his fists. There was no easy answer. He couldn't have both. He couldn't choose both Ivy and Emerald, and he couldn't abandon his child.
His heart tightened as he thought about his unborn child growing inside Emerald. He didn't know the gender of the child, but all he knew was that he was going to have an heir, an heir who succeed him and take over everything he had owned. That child will be part of his life forever.
But as he thought about it, he knew bringing this child up was going to be difficult with Ivy as his betrothed. The joining with Ivy couldn't be changed, it was part of the plan, part of what would secure his place as Alpha.
He left the window and paced back and forth in the room, his mind going in circles. The elders had made it clear that joining with Ivy couldn't be avoided.
It was nothing about love this time; It wasn't just about love; it was about power, his position as Alpha, and survival. He knew that. He understood that. But understanding didn't make it easier. It didn't make the idea of being tied to Ivy any less suffocating. It didn't stop him from longing for a life that was his own, for a choice that he had control over.
The responsibility of being Alpha weighed heavily on him. It was a mantle that came with so many expectations and so many rules. He had to be the leader, the one who made the hard choices, the one who held everything together. He couldn't afford to show weakness, to show doubt. But inside, he was consumed by both.
What if he made the wrong choice? What if he chose the Pack and Ivy, only to regret it for the rest of his life? What if he followed his heart and chose Emerald, only to be cast out of the Pack, leaving his people vulnerable and his legacy in ruins?
Caden stopped pacing and stared at his reflection in the mirror. His face was drawn, his expression hard. He looked every bit the Alpha—the leader, the protector, the one who had to make the tough decisions
But inside, he recognized the truth. He wasn't certain about who he was anymore. The man who had always known how to make decisions by himself, who could stand up to anything, had been weakened by so many responsibilities that he had no choice but to follow. It had all the states down, and he was meant to follow every single one of them.
The silence of the room felt heavy, too heavy, and pressing hard on him, and there was no way to escape it. His thoughts spun around him, never-ending and unsettled. He needed to make a decision. But which one? And what would it cost him?
In the quiet, Caden realized something. There was no easy answer. He couldn't please everyone. He couldn't satisfy both the Pack and his own heart. But somewhere, deep inside, he knew that whatever decision he made, it would define the rest of his life. And he would have to live with it.
The question was, which life was worth living? And what price would he pay for it?