Dawn finds me in Dr. Chen's lab, watching her frown at readings I can't begin to understand. The knife sits in a clear containment chamber, surrounded by equipment that looks more suited to a particle accelerator than a weapons analysis. The patterns on its surface continue their endless dance, like oil on water but wrong somehow, moving in ways that make my eyes hurt if I watch too long.
"This is impossible," Dr. Chen mutters, not for the first time. She's been up all night, her usual pristine appearance showing signs of wear. Her lab coat is rumpled, and her short black hair is mussed from running her fingers through it in frustration. "The molecular structure keeps... shifting. Like it can't decide what state of matter it wants to be in."
I sit on a stool nearby, nursing my third coffee of the morning. The envelope from James is hidden safely in my quarters, but its contents weigh on my mind. "Can you be more specific about 'impossible'?"
She pulls up a holographic display, showing what looks like a microscopic view of the blade's surface. "Look at this. The metal's atomic structure is reconfiguring itself constantly, but not in any pattern I recognize. It's like... imagine if you took a clock and made all the numbers prime, then had the hands move according to the Fibonacci sequence, but in reverse, and also the clock face is a Klein bottle."
"You lost me at prime numbers."
She makes a frustrated sound. "The point is, it's not just changing – it's changing according to rules that shouldn't exist in our universe. Rules that violate everything we know about physics."
"Their rules," I say quietly. "The ones that govern the spaces between spaces."
"Exactly." She switches to another display, this one showing energy readings. "Whatever you did with the knife, you didn't just change its physical structure. You somehow imbued it with... properties from their dimension. It's like a splinter of their reality embedded in ours."
The darkness behind my eye pulses in response to her words. I try to ignore it. "Is it dangerous?"
"Define dangerous." She pulls up more readings. "It's stable, in the sense that it's not going to explode or start eating reality or anything dramatic like that. But it's definitely not normal matter anymore. And these energy signatures..." She trails off, staring at the display.
"What about them?"
"They're similar to the readings we get from you. Not identical, but there's definitely a resonance pattern. Like the knife is tuned to the same frequency as whatever gives you your abilities."
I think about how it felt to channel power through the blade, how natural it seemed. "Could you replicate it? Make more weapons like it?"
"God, no." She shudders. "Even if I understood the principles involved, which I don't, trying to artificially create something like this would be incredibly dangerous. This happened organically, through your connection to Them. Trying to force it would be like... like trying to create a black hole in your basement."
"The Church manages it," I point out. "Their seeding process, the way they create conduits – it's all artificial manipulation of Their power."
"And look at the success rate." She turns to face me fully. "One in what, a thousand survives? One in ten thousand keeps their sanity? You're different because it's natural for you. Part of your fundamental nature."
A piece of Them that learned to dream it was human. I push the thought away. "So what can you tell me about what it can do?"
"Based on these readings?" She gestures at the displays. "It's a lot more than just a sharp piece of metal now. The blade exists partially in their dimension, which means it can affect things that exist there too. In theory, you could use it to cut connections between realities, sever links between dimensions."
"Like closing doors they've opened?"
"Potentially." She chews her lip. "But Vesper... using it that way would mean channeling more of their power through it. And through you. I'm not sure what that would do to either of you."
I stand and approach the containment chamber, studying the knife. The patterns seem to move faster as I get closer, like they're responding to my presence. "The Church is planning something big. If this knife can help stop them..."
"It might also kill you." Her voice is gentle but firm. "Or worse. The readings suggest using it creates a feedback loop – the more power you channel through it, the more it changes, and the more it changes, the more power it can channel. There's no way to know where that ends."
"Better me than everyone else," I mutter.
"That's not funny." She starts shutting down displays with sharp gestures. "Look, I need to run more tests. But whatever you're thinking of doing with this thing, be careful. The laws of physics aren't suggestions – they're the rules that keep reality functioning. Break them too much, and..."
"And?"
She meets my eyes. "And maybe that's exactly what they want. A weapon that breaks reality itself."
Before I can respond, the lab door opens. Marcus strides in, looking like he hasn't slept either. "Dr. Chen, what do you have for me?"
She launches into a technical explanation that I only half follow, full of terms like "quantum superposition" and "dimensional phase variance." I tune it out, focusing instead on the knife. From this angle, some of the patterns almost look like writing – not the Church's symbols, but something older, more primal.
"Vesper?" Marcus's voice snaps me back to attention. "Did you hear me?"
"Sorry, what?"
"I asked if you've experienced any unusual effects since using the knife. Headaches, visions, anything out of the ordinary?"
I think about the black substance leaking from my eye, about the dreams of my mother and ancient temples. About the hunger growing in the darkness behind my eye.
"No," I lie. "Nothing unusual."
He studies me for a moment, and I keep my face carefully neutral. Finally, he nods. "Alright. Dr. Chen, keep running tests. I want to know everything this thing can do, and more importantly, everything it might do that we don't want it to. Vesper, walk with me."
I follow him out of the lab, feeling Dr. Chen's concerned gaze on my back. In the hallway, Marcus stops and turns to face me.
"You went out last night."
It's not a question. "I needed air."
"You met with James."
I keep my expression neutral. "Is that a problem?"
He sighs, running a hand over his face. "I trust him. Mostly. But these are dangerous times, and he's still connected to the Church. Just... be careful."
"I'm always careful."
"No, you're not." His voice softens slightly. "Whatever's coming, whatever this Convergence is – we need you alive to stop it. Remember that."
I think about the genealogical chart in James's envelope, about generations of women with darkness behind their eyes. About my mother, burned out by prolonged contact with Them. About the knife, changed by my power in ways that defy physics.
"I'll try," I say.
It's the best I can offer.