The caption read: "When you shoot your shot and miss.
#LoserGirl
#CringeFest"
She clicked play, even though every part of her screamed not to.
There she was, small and pathetic, begging West not to leave her while his friends laughed in the background.
The comments started scrolling automatically below the video.
The memes came next;- screenshots of her crying face with captions like:
"When you thought you were the main character but you're just comic relief."
"Plot twist: She's the reason West upgraded to Adah."
Svet felt sick.
Her stomach churned, and her vision blurred as more tears spilled over. She wanted to throw her phone across the room, but it cost a fortune from Dad's pocket and she couldn't stop scrolling.
And then she saw his comment.
West.
"I never liked her anyway. She wasn't my type. Just a game meant to be played, and I couldn't last even a month with the child's play."
Her breath hitched.
Her chest ached so much she thought she might actually break in half. But it wasn't over. Right beneath his comment was Adah's.
"My boyfriend would never stoop so low.
#StayInYourLane
#LoserGirl"
The likes on their comments were in the hundreds. People were replying with laughing emojis, heart emojis, as if this was some kind of twisted entertainment.
Yet, Svet couldn't look away. And the more she scrolled, the worse it got.
People she didn't even know were piling on, making jokes about how pathetic she was, how desperate she looked, how West was right to reject her. No one; not a single person, thought what he did was wrong.
Svetlana clutched her phone so tightly her knuckles turned white. Her tears started falling freely now as the pain in her chest grew unbearable.
She wanted to scream. Wanted to throw her phone, to break something, to disappear completely. But all she could do was sit there, staring at the screen, as the online world ripped her apart piece by piece.
She closed the app, tossing jer phone onto the bed as if it had burned her. But even without it, their words echoed in her mind. It was on repeat. Over and over until she thought she might go insane.
She curled up in a ball, hugging her knees to her chest as the sobs came again, harder this time.
How could he do this to her? How could they all be so cruel?
Svetlana didn't know how long she stayed like that, crying until her throat was raw and her eyes were swollen. But eventually, the room grew dark. The only light was the one coming from the faint glow of her phone screen, still buzzing with notifications she couldn't bring herself to check anymore.
She had never felt so small, so worthless, so utterly alone.
_____
The faint hum of voices downstairs; Dad's booming tone, Kyle's laugh, Carlos and Carl's twin banter, and mother trying to talk over them all.. she couldn't even join in her family's banter anymore.
Svetlana pulled her knees tighter to her chest, burying her face in the pillow she'd soaked with tears.
Her glasses had been shoved to the side, fogged up from all the crying. The tissues and napkins she'd been using were scattered around like fallen soldiers, and her face was a complete mess.
She could barely open her eyes because they stung so bad.
If she left this room, she knew what would happen.
Dad would ask if she was okay in that fatherly soft but overly worried way that made her feel like a fragile porcelain doll. Kyle would probably nudge her and say something like, "You've not got to be weak, Svet."
Carl and Carlos would start teasing each other until one of them eventually says something dumb about "that jerk West," which would end with them fighting.. still.
And Mom?
Oh, Mom would just sigh and ask why she couldn't be more like Miranda.
Svet sniffled and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her sweater.
Four days.
Four days since West decided she wasn't worth his time anymore. Four days since he crushed her in front of the entire school. And now, it felt like the whole world knew.
She turned on her phone and opened the educational posts app she followed which was of course part distraction, part self-punishment. The first post that popped up was from a celebrity, someone Svet admired: Zendaya.
The caption read: "You don't have to look down on yourself. That ex who broke your heart? Use that pain to become better. Glow up. Make them regret losing you."
Svetlana stared at it, rereading it again and again.
The comments were flooded with hashtags:
#GetBackAtThem
#GlowUpChallenge
#LevelUpYourLife
She wanted to believe it, but it felt impossible. How could she glow up when she felt like she had been dimmed to nothing?
Her screen dimmed, and she bit her lip, hesitating before opening her browser. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, and then she typed: "How does a newly turned 18 year old girl become attractive?"
The results were overwhelming. Articles, videos, forums. They all had answers.
"Enlarge your boobs."
"Get a man who values you."
"Gain weight to look thicker."
"Wear tight clothes and flirt more."
Svetlana: "...."