The soft hum of the Jedi Temple's ventilation system fought to keep the humid air out while it also blended with the rustle of wind through the trees' canopies, surrounding us, creating a serene backdrop in the chamber. All of us freshly recruited Padawans sat in loose rows of four, including me, my seat right in the middle of them, right behind Vila. Looking around, the room was simple and unadorned; the stone walls were bare except for faint etchings of ancient Jedi symbols that shimmered in the morning sunlight. Right before us all, standing with calm authority, was Master Rosh Penin, our teacher who would let us experience what Jedi Meditation entailed. This was our very first lesson in the Order and maybe the most important one.
"Before we begin," Master Rosh spoke, his voice warm as the morning sun, "let me tell you what this lesson is not about."
We glanced at one another, unsure how to react. I wasn't going to miss anything, not now, so I straightened my back and focused on his words, following him with my eyes as he paced before us. In front of me, Vila shifted uncomfortably, her lekku, as usual, twitching with nervous energy. I don't think she was used to staying still like this, at least not for a long time.
"This is not about lifting rocks with your mind," Master Rosh continued, pacing slowly, his steps deliberate and measured. "It's not about duels or visions or mastering the secrets of the galaxy. Today, we begin with the most basic—and most difficult—skill for any Jedi: feeling the Force."
Then, he paused, letting his words settle over our group. He studied our faces, noting our ideas, feelings, and thoughts, probably ranking which of us understood his lesson.
"The Force," he explained, his tone softening, "is not something to be grasped or conquered. It's something you become part of. And to do that, you must first learn to listen for it." Finishing, he gracefully lowered himself onto the floor, taking a cross-legged position, giving us an example. "Now, close your eyes," he instructed. "Focus on your breathing. In through your nose... out through your mouth. Slow and steady. If you find it hard, concentrate on mine and mimic it; copy my rhythm."
I obeyed immediately, closing my eyes and following our Master's lead. The Temple's ambient sounds faded into the background as I focused on the rhythm of his breath, in... out... slow and steady. I... I not only felt it almost immediately, but... I felt something that wasn't mine. I knew it instantly. That other thing, that wasn't my feelings. These were not my thoughts.
It was Vila's. She was struggling. I could sense how her eyes fluttered while closed, and then I felt how she opened them again as if expecting something to happen. The silence felt oppressive for her, sending her thoughts racing and making it impossible to properly meditate.
"What am I supposed to feel? What if I'm doing it wrong?"
I almost spoke up myself, hearing her thinking as whispers in my ear, when Master Rosh's voice interrupted her spiraling thoughts.
"Don't force it, Vila. Just breathe. Let the world fade away."
She tried again, but the unfamiliar stillness gnawed at her. I could sense something within her stir. I didn't know then that they were memories of sleepless nights on cold jungle floors that resurfaced in her mind—these were heavy experiences that nobody should have gone through. I didn't know that she could hear distant growls of predators echoing in her mind when trying to meditate. What I could feel, sitting so close to her, was that her breathing quickened, and she clenched her fists to steady herself.
"Let your awareness expand beyond yourself." Master Rosh led us, his voice echoing in our mind, "Feel the air around you, the ground beneath you, the energy flowing through this room."
Separating my feelings from Vila's, I took a deep breath, my focus sharpening, trying to block out everything that was not related to me. I imagined the air vibrating faintly with energy as if the room itself were alive. At first, there was nothing—just my own thoughts and the sound of my breath. But then, like a faint whisper on the edge of my hearing, I felt it: a gentle pulse. It was rhythmic, but it wasn't the ventilation. It was different... like the heartbeat of something infinite. Something living, but more.
My chest tightened with awe, but I didn't let it distract or jolt me out of this weird state. Instead, I leaned into the sensation, letting it envelop my consciousness. It was warm and constant, a comforting presence that seemed to reach out and welcome me with open arms.
"I feel it," I murmured subconsciously, my voice barely above a whisper yet still escaping my throat.
"Good, Kael. Stay with it. Let it guide you." Master Rosh turned to me, nodding approvingly as I heard his voice in my head.
By then, I wasn't paying attention to anybody else. I did not even realize that a nautolan Padawan sitting next to me frowned in concentration. His headtails twitched as he scrunched his face, clearly struggling to follow Master Rosh's instructions.
"I... I don't feel anything," he admitted, frustration creeping into his voice.
"That's okay," our teacher said calmly. "The Force reveals itself differently to everyone. For some, it comes as a whisper. For others, it may feel like a breeze or a wave, a faint scent of something familiar, a hug, giving you safety. Be patient. It will come to you if you don't give up."
Vila, once again, opened her eyes, biting her lip. She wasn't feeling anything either—not a whisper, not a wave, not even a faint flicker. All she felt was the tightness in her chest and the restless urge to move. Sitting still like this wasn't natural and could mean that something could get to her. She needed to do something, anything, to break the tension.
"You're not competing with each other," Master Rosh reminded her and others who were failing on their first try, his gaze sweeping over our group. "This is not a race. The Force isn't a prize you can win—it's a connection you build over time."
By then, I missed it all happening. I instead let out a slow breath, my awareness deepening. The pulse I had felt earlier grew stronger, more defined. As I let it sweep over me, my consciousness returned to the room, but it was different. This time, I wasn't just sitting in the room; I was sensing it now in a much more vivid way, along with everyone else in it—I began feeling their thoughts. Their emotions were brushing against me like the ocean on a beach, washing against the sand. I could feel the nautolan's frustration, Vila's unease, and Master Rosh's calm, guiding presence, all of them at once.
"Good," Our Master said again, his voice soothing those who failed. "Those of you who can feel it, stay with it. Those who cannot, don't worry. The Force is always there, even when it feels distant. Trust that it will come to you in time."
The lesson continued in silence, each Padawan grappling with their own experience. I started feeling guilty. It was as if I were eavesdropping on their thoughts. For me, the Force felt tangible, a presence I could almost touch, and through it, I could touch my fellow students. But, after a time, Master Rosh spoke again, his voice powerful enough to sever the feeling within me, forcing me out of my meditation.
"Open your eyes." All of us obeyed, not that we could say no to him. "Tell me," He continued after we all collected ourselves. "What did you feel?"
Nobody said anything at first, so after waiting a few seconds, I raised my hand hesitantly.
"I... I think I felt the Force. It was like a heartbeat or maybe a current. It was everywhere, but it felt... gentle. Warm." Master Rosh nodded, his expression pleased, which in turn made me smile.
"Excellent, Kael. That's a good start. The Force often reveals itself as a sense of connection—an awareness of the world around you." Hearing him, the nautolan boy shook his head, and I could feel he was very disappointed with himself.
"I tried, but I didn't feel anything. It's like... I don't know what I'm looking for."
"You're not alone in that," Master Rosh assured him. "Many Jedi struggle at first. As I told you all, the Force isn't something you look for—it's something you let yourself feel. It takes time and practice. Don't force it, as forcing it is a step towards failure."
It was then that Vila hesitated, looking at me once over her shoulders and then turning forward, speaking up.
"I couldn't feel it either," she admitted, her voice quiet. "I tried, but... it's like there's this wall in my head. I can't get past it."
Rosh turned to her, his gaze kind but probing. He clearly felt her attempts and wondered what had cut it short. If I could feel it, a Master would recognize it too.
"That's not uncommon," he stated. "Sometimes, our past experiences create barriers that make it harder to connect with the Force. But those barriers can be overcome. I experienced it myself, Padawan Vila. It can be overcome; you must trust in yourself and in the Force."
I watched as her body shifted. Although I couldn't see it, I was sure she frowned while looking down at her hands. I had guessed what she was thinking, that she wasn't sure she believed Master Rosh's words. The idea of a barrier felt too easy, too simple to explain the gnawing emptiness she'd felt during the exercise or the roars she could hear as if coming from the jungle around the Temple. But I understood our Master's implication. It wasn't a physical barrier; it was a mental one.
"Vila," Rosh said gently, drawing her attention. "The Force isn't something you earn or something that any of us deserve. It is not an object of desire because feeling like those can corrupt it. It's already within you, as much a part of you as your breath or your heartbeat. It flows through every living being; it holds us and the universe together. Vila, you have the gift to experience its effect consciously. It will come to you."
I looked away when she nodded reluctantly, though I knew she wasn't convinced.
"Remember," Master Rosh declared, addressing the group, "this is only the beginning. Feeling the Force is not something you master in a single lesson. Nor in a single year! It's a lifelong journey. Some of you will connect with it more easily than others, but that doesn't mean anyone is stronger or weaker. Each of you has a unique path, and the Force will guide you on it."
Most of us nodded, some more enthusiastically than others. I was amongst the former as I sat straighter, feeling a modest sense of accomplishment. It was... It was different from when I did something well back home. This was a task I completed because I wanted to complete it. It was my own desire, and it felt wonderful. I wanted to do it again, right now and right there.
Looking towards Vila without trying to burn her back with my gaze, she kept her look fixed on the floor. I could feel the frustration gnawing at her. If the Force was really within her, why couldn't she feel it? I knew that look... I hope she can overcome it.
When our first lesson ended, we began filing out of the chamber while Master Rosh gently caught Vila's arm, stopping her. I made sure to slow my steps enough not to be obvious but to delay enough so I could hear their words.
"You're not failing, Vila," he said softly. "You're learning. And learning often begins with struggle."
She met his gaze bravely, but she was unsure how to respond. Finally, she nodded.
"I'll keep trying," she murmured, though her voice lacked conviction.
"That's all I ask."