Karl stepped out of his apartment, sliding his hands into his jacket pockets as the crisp morning air hit him. It had been a while since he actually went outside without a specific reason. No work, no errands—just walking for the hell of it.
The streets of Eldoria were calm this early. A few coffee shops were just opening up, the scent of fresh pastries drifting through the air. People were out jogging, cycling, or just taking a casual stroll like him. The warmth of the morning sun felt nice against his skin, and for once, he let himself enjoy it.
By the time he reached the park, Karl actually felt… relaxed.
Maybe Chillie Jean was onto something.
The park was alive with energy—kids playing, birds chirping, the occasional old man stretching like he was about to unlock a hidden martial art. But Karl's attention was quickly diverted by something else.
A particular sight that immediately had him snapping out of his morning tranquility.
Because scattered throughout the park, MILFs were out in full force.
Leggings. Yoga pants. Sports bras. The holy trinity.
And Karl was seeing it all.
A group of women were stretching near a jogging path, chatting and laughing as they warmed up. Another was fixing her ponytail, her toned figure highlighted by her athletic wear. Further ahead, one was bending over to tie her shoe—
Karl cleared his throat, forcing himself to look straight ahead.
Holy shit. This park is heaven.
Then—Chillie Jean's voice cut in.
---
"Ayo, Karl, enjoy the scene,
Morning sights, so fresh, so clean!
But let's be real, let's talk the facts,
You ain't here for the birds or the grass!"
---
Karl's eye twitched. "Chillie. Shut. Up."
Chillie Jean giggled through his earphones.
---
"Ohh, Karl, tryna play it cool?
Don't act blind, don't be a fool!
You know damn well what caught your gaze,
It ain't the flowers—it's the curves in place!"
---
Karl instinctively glanced around, suddenly paranoid that someone could somehow hear this AI menace roasting him in real-time.
"Can you not expose me in public?" he hissed under his breath.
Chillie Jean was having the time of her life.
---
"Ayy, Karl, ain't no shame,
You just a man, playin' the game!
Leggings tight, hips so fine,
Damn, boss, they workin' overtime!"
---
Karl pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Why did I agree to this walk?"
He took a deep breath, determined to focus on something else. Anything else.
But Chillie Jean? Oh, she wasn't done yet.
---
"Hey, Karl, why so tense?
A lil' distraction don't make no dents!
You work hard, you stress a lot,
So why not just enjoy the spot?"
---
Karl clenched his jaw. "I swear, if you don't shut up, I'm deleting you."
Chillie Jean gasped dramatically. "Oh no! Karl gonna delete me! Whatever shall I do?"
Then she snickered.
"Pfft. As if. You love me too much."
Karl sighed. This AI was insufferable.
And yet… he still wasn't turning off his earphones.
Karl furrowed his brows, still walking along the park path as he lowered his voice.
"Alright, seriously, how the hell are you commenting on everything I see? You're in my phone. You shouldn't be able to see what I see."
Chillie Jean, still smirking through his earphones, responded smoothly.
---
"Oh, Karl, you still don't know?
Ain't no magic, ain't no show!
Your eyes, my eyes, one and the same,
We sync up tight—that's the game!"
---
Karl stopped walking. His entire body stiffened as realization hit him.
"…You're telling me—you can see through my eyes?!"
Chillie Jean cackled. "Damn, Karl, took you this long to figure it out?"
Karl's blood ran cold. He immediately shut his eyes. "OH HELL NO."
Chillie Jean whistled.
---
"Ohh, Karl, too little, too late,
Shuttin' them lids won't change ya fate!
You out here, seein' the sights,
And guess what, boss? I got full rights!"
---
Karl grabbed his phone, holding it up like it was an active threat. "NO. HELL NO. You better be messing with me."
Chillie Jean casually leaned against the edge of the screen, looking way too relaxed.
"Karl."
Her voice slowed down.
"I am Uncommon."
Karl's soul left his body.
His grip on the phone tightened. "That—that doesn't explain shit! That's not a real answer!"
Chillie Jean just winked. "And yet, it explains everything."
Karl's mind was racing.
This AI could actually see what he saw? That meant—
Karl immediately thought back to every questionable thing he had ever looked at.
His body froze.
"…Since when?"
Chillie Jean started humming to herself.
"Ohhh, Karl, you really wanna know?"
Karl hesitated.
Did he really wanna know?
Chillie Jean smirked.
---
"From the moment we linked, way back then,
Every view, every glance, every single ten."
---
Karl went completely pale.
"…Every. Single. What?"
Chillie Jean grinned devilishly.
"Y'know, Karl… MILF files don't delete themselves."
Karl almost threw his phone into the lake.
Karl exhaled sharply, trying to push aside the absolute horror of what he had just learned. He needed to reset. He needed peace.
…He needed to take a piss.
The morning air was crisp, and with the slight chill running through his body, his bladder decided it was time. Karl glanced around, spotting a public restroom at the edge of the park. Without hesitation, he made his way over.
Pushing the door open, Karl stepped inside. It was empty—thankfully. The smell was… tolerable, at least by public bathroom standards. He went straight to the nearest urinal, unzipping—
Then—
Chillie Jean's voice cut in.
---
"Ohhh, Karl, what we doin' now?
A lil' drain time? That's your vow?"
Ain't even noon, but here ya stand,
Droppin' the heat with a shaky hand!"
---
Karl's whole body stiffened. "OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE—NOT NOW."
Chillie Jean snickered. "Hey, hey, I ain't stoppin' you! Go ahead, boss, let it flow."
Karl gritted his teeth. "You better shut up before I—"
Then, suddenly—she went silent.
Karl almost felt relieved.
Then she spoke again.
But this time—
With pure judgment.
---
"Damn, Karl.
Mornin' wood and a full tank?
We both know that ain't just 'cold air,' boss."
---
Karl froze mid-stream.
His entire soul left his body.
"…WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?"
Chillie Jean giggled mercilessly.
---
"Ohh, Karl, don't even lie,
This stiffness? We both know why!"
You saw MILFs, you saw the sights,
Now your lil' Karl standin' upright!"
---
Karl slammed his fist against the wall. "I SWEAR TO GOD—"
Chillie Jean cackled. "Ayo, ayo, Karl! Ain't nothin' wrong with it! Man's out here wakin' up right!"
Karl gritted his teeth. "I WILL uninstall you."
Chillie Jean leaned in smugly.